GM is a Joke

gm is a joke

When I’m not busy boning-up on Mustangology on Autoblog (c’mon guys it’s been TWO DAYS!) I sometimes trace-back links to TTAC material. Today’s forensic surfing uncovered this little gem on MarketWatch. It’s a financial results press release from a company called CableOrganizer.com, claiming that they made “$21.2 billion more in profit than General Motors Corporation (GM) for the nine months ending September 30, 2008.” Yup, it’s a joke. “‘We are very pleased about our 2008 profitability and are obviously honored to have beaten GM by such a wide margin,’ said Paul Holstein, senior vice president of CableOrganizer.com, Inc. ‘Obviously we couldn’t match their revenue, but we were able to beat them handily on costs and expenses,’ notes Holstein. ‘For example, we put off buying a fleet of Gulfstream G5 private jets. That, right there, saved us millions of dollars.’ I called the company’s Marketing Coordinator, Juan Ribero. He was kind enough to send me the original press release, before MarketWatch’s editors toned it down.

“Mr. Holstein claims that he has not been contacted by anyone at GM to help them run the company and did not indicate if he would, in fact, take the top position at GM if it were offered to him. However, he hinted, ‘I’m sure I could lose far less than GM in my very first year. In fact, I’m pretty sure my 6 year old daughter could do a better job than GM’s current management.’ He added that she probably wouldn’t ask the Federal Government for a bailout either.”

While I appreciate the humor, this marks a new low for GM. The American company that was once the world’s largest AND most profitable has been reduced to the butt of jokes by the office water cooler. How the mighty have fallen.

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  • Workerbee Workerbee on Nov 21, 2008

    If you think they are joke on the outside you should see what we say on the inside.

  • on Nov 24, 2008

    And, generally they suspend dividend payments if they are actually losing money. Companies that continue paying dividends in lean years are companies that are still making a profit, just not as great of a profit. Dividends are a stockholders share of the profits and are suspended when a company stops being profitable or sometimes simply when profits drop below a certain level.

  • Syke Thanks, somehow I missed that.
  • 285exp I am quite sure that it is a complete coincidence that they have announced a $7k price increase the same week that the current administration has passed legislation extending the $7k tax credit that was set to expire. Yep, not at all related.
  • Syke Is it possible to switch the pure EV drive on and off? Given the wonderful throttle response of an EV, I could see the desirability of this for a serious off-roader. Run straight ICE to get to your off-roading site, switch over the EV drive during the off-road section, then back to ICE for the road trip back home.
  • ToolGuy Historical Perspective Moment:• First-gen Bronco debuted in MY1966• OJ Simpson Bronco chase was in 1994• 1966 to 1994 = 28 years• 1994 to now = 28 yearsFeel old yet?
  • Ronnie Schreiber From where is all that electricity needed to power an EV transportation system going to come? Ironically, the only EV evangelist that I know of who even mentions the fragile nature of our electrical grid is Elon Musk. None of the politicians pushing EVs go anywhere near it, well, unless they are advocating for unreliable renewables like wind and solar.
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