Happy Birthday To…

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

25 years ago on this very day, a living God graced us with his feline presence: Howie Makem. The quality cat. World famous ambassador to all things GM is celebrating his birthday today.

Back in the good old days of the 1980’s, GM needed inspiration for their pursuit of quality. At Ford, quality was job one. Chrysler offered a long warranty. Toyota, Honda and Nissan were at the forefront of lean production methods, and Europe offered by I Want This" href="http://jalopnik.com/i-just-got-finished-reading-ben-hampers-book-it-is-a-g-506643395#">Volvos and Benzes that were made out of Nordic metal and recycled German Messerschmitts. GM had the Chevy Citation.

It was decided that something had to be done. Special committees were formed and within a matter of weeks, the belching black smoke that came out of the roof of GM headquarters via a Chevrolet Chevette diesel signified a new initiative for the company.

A human sized cat with the “head of a Datsun”, as lineworker Ben Hamper put it, was given a plastic cape and marching orders to change GM quality by any means necessary.

This meant walking around factories and waving. No, that last sentence is not a joke. GM hired the then un-named Quality Cat to walk around and wave to all the assembly line workers while they were busy installing rivets on trucks whose designs dated to the Nixon era.

It worked in much the same way as putting various small flags on Oldsmobiles made them more competitive with imports. The line workers cheered on their new savior for all things quality, and were even given the rare privilege of naming the human sized, cape wearing mascot.

“Management announced that they would reward the most creative of these entries with a week’s use of a company truck. Hot damn! The eventual winner of the contest was a worker who stumbled upon the inspired moniker Howie Makem. Sadly, my intriguing entry, Wanda Kwit, finished way the hell down by I Want This" href="http://jalopnik.com/i-just-got-finished-reading-ben-hampers-book-it-is-a-g-506643395#">the list somewhere right between Roger’s Pussy and Tuna Meowt.” ( click here for the full story)

A star had been born. At least for a short while. Rumor has it that Howie Makem’s popularity was soon a liability in the insular GM universe that was the 14th floor, and a long line of enemies soon emerged.

GM unfortunately had three other feline Howies vying for CEO Roger Smith’s attention at the time. Howie Rakem, assistant to GM’s Chief Financial Officer. Howie Fakem, lead engineer for the by I Want This" href="http://jalopnik.com/i-just-got-finished-reading-ben-hampers-book-it-is-a-g-506643395#">Cadillac Cimarron, and Howie Takem, chief architect for the Hamtramck plant which required the condemnation and eviction of over a thousand Poletown residents.

The three Howies considered the idea of a quality cat to be about as welcome as a stupid dog, and quietly gave Howie his walking papers.

Since then Howie Makem is rumored to have moved to Reno where he has decided to reach out to the greater GM community along with fans the world over. So please. say a happy birthday to Howie today, and perhaps offer him a little kibble for all the good work he did back in the day.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • PrincipalDan PrincipalDan on May 15, 2013

    Wonder if GM ever considered part of the problem was shitte components as well? Lowest dollar squeezed to the penny suppliers... Crap expertly assembled is still crap.

    • Lorenzo Lorenzo on May 16, 2013

      Back in the '80s GM owned some of its suppliers, like Delco-Remy and AC-Delco. Delco-Remy was spun off first, then AC-Delco was spun off as Delphi, with GM retaining the ACDelco name without the hyphen. As someone said in another thread, the supplier issue may cause a return to vertical integration with automakers making their own parts again, but if history is any guide, you won't notice any difference in GM parts.

  • Jimbob457 Jimbob457 on May 15, 2013

    RIVETHEAD. Says everything about the old Detroit. A talented writer and journalist workin' on the line and gettin' drunk on beer every night into the third generation. As a youth I worked next to some of these guys. They were capable of so much more, but the assembly line money was just too good. Roger (Smith) and out, Jimbob

  • FreedMike Off topic, but folks, this site is not working well for me from a technical standpoint, and it doesn't matter if I'm using my phone, or my computer (on two different browsers). It locks up and makes it impossible to type anything in after a certain point. Anyone else having these issues?
  • Syke Kinda liked the '57, hated the '58. Then again, I hated the entire '58 GM line except for the Chevrolet. Which I liked better than the '57's. Still remember dad's '58 Impala hardtop, in the silver blue that was used as the main advertising color.
  • Dartdude The bottom line is that in the new America coming the elites don't want you and me to own cars. They are going to make building cars so expensive that the will only be for the very rich and connected. You will eat bugs and ride the bus and live in a 500sq-ft. apartment and like it. HUD wants to quit giving federal for any development for single family homes and don't be surprised that FHA aren't going to give loans for single family homes in the very near future.
  • Ravenuer The rear view of the Eldo coupe makes it look fat!
  • FreedMike This is before Cadillac styling went full scale nutty...and not particularly attractive, in my opinion.
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