Volkswagen Buys Porsche After Porsche Bought Volkswagen

And the deals, they keep on coming. Bloomberg reports that the Porsche and Piech families “plan to sell their main car assets to Volkswagen AG under a plan that would tighten Porsche SE’s grip on Europe’s biggest automaker.” Hold it right there: Haven’t they just BOUGHT Volkswagen? Are we confused yet? This is how it works:

Yesterday, Automobilwoche [sub] reported that Porsche is looking for a large investor with deep pockets. The sugar daddy is supposed to “solve the financial problems surrounding the takeover of Volkswagen. The Porsche/Piech families can’t do it alone.” Reports in Germany are talking about potential Saudi-Arabian investors, the preferred partners of makers of high end gear.

But now, there is a better plan: Porsche, the family, sells Porsche, the car company to Volkswagen, which the family already rules. In return, they get VW shares they want and cash they need. “As part of the transaction, Porsche SE will issue new shares, a portion of which may be sold to external investors,” Bloomberg says.

Of course, the official party line is different. It’s the dreaded S word: Synergy. “We’re both capable of forming the center of strength in international carmaking,” Winterkorn said at VW’s annual shareholders’ meeting in Hamburg. “This alliance has enormous potential in technological and economic terms.” Winterkorn is obviously vying for a job as a stand-up comedian. In the first half of the 2008/2009 fiscal, Porsche sold just 34,266 units worldwide. Volkswagen made more than 6 million. They could crank out the worldwide Porsche production over a long week-end.

What’s more, a lot of the Porsche production is already intermeshed with VW. Volkswagen and Porsche already work together to build sport-utility vehicles and Porsche has tapped VW to assemble its Panamera four-person sedan. The companies also cooperate on SUVs such as Touareg, Cayenne and Audi’s Q7. No, Siree, synergies have nothing to do with it. If Porsche can’t swallow Volkswagen, then a Volkswagen owned by Porsche will swallow Porsche. It’s that simple. Even if it sounds confusing.