QOTD: No More Mr. Nice Guy?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Thinking back, I can only recall a single instance in which someone who wasn’t a mechanic or dealer service tech borrowed my car. Seems unlikely, but that vehicle sitting outside isn’t a hammer or a cup of sugar. I’d protect it with my life. Which is why it’s only been out of my sight, under the command of another person, one one occasion.

My dad wanted to pick up a pizza, and his car was a boring automatic. Hand ’em over, sonny.

Other people are far more generous with their personal property, tossing their keys to anyone halfway trustworthy on the promise that they’ll return it in one piece. Which, of course, doesn’t always happen.

Clearly, I have no tale to tell about lending someone a fine, pristine automobile and having it returned a wreck, though my buddy recently relayed a terrifying tale of a prized Malibu that danced with fate and lost.

Many years ago, as a naive and idealistic university student (life took care of that outlook!), buddy lent his circa ’79 or’ 80 Chevrolet Malibu to a friend who was headed up north to work in the mines over summer break. My friend was heading out on the road for a sales job in a company car, so the two wouldn’t cross paths again for a couple of months.

Come the arrival of autumn, the Malibu and the friend showed up — one of them still serviceable.

It’s worth pointing out that my friend is something of an obsessive when it comes to maintaining cars, and this G-body coupe apparently left his grasp in near-pristine condition. No rust, no dings, and a solid 229 or 231 V6 mated to a three-speed auto. Decent power and reliability for the era. Having just replaced a used and abused mid-’70s Coronet, this stoic Chevy could have performed yeoman’s service for years to come.

Alas, it was not to be. The Malibu was returned with a noticeable list — the result of a front strut pushed well beyond its limits by an uncaring driver who took back roads too fast on the regular. No other suspension component made it out of the north woods in praiseworthy condition, either. The same can be said for the now-battered body, and sometime over that two-month span a hole the size of a large pizza pan opened up in the floor of the trunk.

Seems buddy’s friend was pretty nonchalant when he dropped the wreck off, too. “Never lend anything to a narcissistic hippie” is the obviously takeaway here.

To make matters worth, not long after the barely driveable car made its return home, a hobo chose to make it his own personal outhouse late one night. What had once been a respectable midsized car had now become a beat-up, creaking, urine-filled heap. Buddy sent it to the wreckers.

It’s a horror story that closely mirrors some of the many scenarios that fill an owner’s brain when someone asks to borrow the keys. Frankly, I don’t know how parents part with their ride. I know what happens on those nights when kids borrow the car, and it ain’t something I’d want done to, or in, my car by either a family member or a stranger.

Are you able to share any stories of a loaned car taking a wrong turn?

[Images: Toyota, General Motors]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • PrincipalDan PrincipalDan on Jun 05, 2020

    Rarely I have but to a very select group of people and only to the sorts of individuals that will help you in the same way. I had driven my FIL Terrain a few times and he drove my Highlander to an appointment in town.

  • Oreguy Oreguy on Jun 05, 2020

    My story involves a current co-worker - let's call him Bill. In the mid-70's (I don't know the exact year), his wife's younger brother was living with them for a period. One evening they ordered pizzas, and when time arrived to pick them up, the brother-in-law asked if he could use my Bill's '73 Mustang Grande for the pickup run. Bill agreed and tossed him the keys. About 20 minutes later, the brother-in-law called Bill, very upset, and explained that there had been an accident. No injuries, but the Mustang was totaled. I recall that insurance made Bill whole, but the replacement car was not a Mustang. Fast forward to about 2015. The brother-in-law (yes, still), called Bill and told him he found an exact copy of Bill's Mustang. Same color, and virtually all options the same. It needed some interior freshening, new wheels and tires, and the 302 needed and overhaul, but that was about it. The brother-in-law still felt guilty after all the years, but made it his mission to deliver the car to Bill (from Minnesota, to Oregon, where Bill now lives). The process was a little uncomfortable for Bill, because he felt strongly that his brother-in-law need not go through the expense and trouble. But nevertheless, the car was delivered and Bill absolutely loves driving it.

  • Namesakeone Yes, for two reasons: The idea of a robot making decisions based on algorithms does not seem to be in anyone's best interest, and the thought of trucking companies salivating over using a computer to replace the salary of a human driver means a lot more people in the unemployment lines.
  • Bd2 Powertrain reliability of Boxer engines is always questionable. I'll never understand why Subaru held onto them for so long. Smartstream is a solid engine platform as is the Veracruz 3.8L V6.
  • SPPPP I suppose I am afraid of autonomous cars in a certain sense. I prefer to drive myself when I go places. If I ride as a passenger in another driver's car, I can see if that person looks alert and fit for purpose. If that person seems likely to crash, I can intervene, and attempt to bring them back to attention. If there is no human driver, there will probably be no warning signs of an impending crash.But this is less significant than the over-arching fear of humans using autonomous driving as a tool to disempower and devalue other humans. As each generation "can't be trusted" with more and more things, we seem to be turning more passive and infantile. I fear that it will weaken our society and make it more prone to exploitation from within, and/or conquest from the outside.
  • JMII Based on the human drivers I encounter everyday I'll happily take my chances with a computer at the wheel.The highway driver assist system on my Santa Cruz is great, it can self drive perfectly in about 90% of situations. However that other 10% requires you to be in control and make decisions. I feel this is the problem with an AI driving a car, there are times when due to road construction, weather conditions or other drivers when only a human will know what to do.
  • Hari Your route home sounds like the perfect stretch for a car like the Alfa Romeo Giulia. Its renowned handling and dynamic performance make it an ideal match for those curves. For enthusiasts or potential owners interested in understanding all the capabilities of the Giulia 2017, the owner’s manual is an invaluable resource. Check it out here: https://chatwithmanuals.com/automobiles/2017-alfa-romeo-giulia-owners-manual/. Our AI-powered chat makes navigating the manual simple, helping you quickly find specific details about the car's features and specs. Perfect for making the most out of those driving moments and truly understanding your vehicle!
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