Richard Rawlings Is Fast N' Loud N' Pouring Light

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

Thomas Kreutzer’s original post about Discovery’s Fast N’ Loud is one of the most popular articles in TTAC history, for reasons that completely escape me. I’ve never been able to watch more than five minutes of the show. I also have a healthy dose of contempt for the show’s star, Richard Rawlings, and his entirely unsupported claim of a “new Cannonball record” a few years ago. To claim a “Cannonball record” for driving a different route from Brock’s original and then to approach the matter of actual proof with a the-dog-ate-my-homework mindset… well, that’s like telling people that you’re the lead singer in a Justin Bieber cover band but that you can’t actually sing quite like the Biebs and you also forgot to put up any YouTube videos of your performances. What’s the point?

Regardless of the merits of the TV show or the tattoo-commemorated record, however, one thing you cannot deny is that Mr. Rawlings is an extremely sharp businessman and entrepreneur who maximizes his profit from every opportunity. And the latest news from Dallas might be further proof of that.

To capitalize on his fame from “Fast N’ Loud”, Rawlings opened up a bar in 2013. One can only assume that it’s patronized by middle-aged, middle-management men who like a bit of the ol’ leather biker cosplay on the weekends. But if those patrons want Patron, they might want to be careful. According to the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission, Rawlings’ operation is playing fast n’ loose with the liquor:

The operation, the first ever of its kind, identified that at least five Dallas-Fort Worth Bars had, on at least on occasion, served counterfeit booze to its customers. At present, the only Dallas bar that has been identified is Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill.

Not to worry, the bar has an explanation:

“One explanation could be that Patron is served chilled, which can water down the product if testing wasn’t done immediately,” says Mendonsa. “We would never refill bottles with a cheaper alternative or serve a cheaper liquor in place of premium. Not only is that unethical, but also because it puts too much at risk — our liquor permit and our reputation are only two examples. We are too high-profile to take such extreme measures to save a few nickels.”

This explanation, which is more or less taken from a Seinfeld episode featuring George Costanza, did not prevent the TABC from issuing a warning to Gas Monkey. While it’s difficult to muster sympathy for any semi-human being whose idea of a good time is heading over to the ol’ Gas Monkey and ordering up some Patron, there’s a genuine sense of appropriate irony to the whole thing. In a world where “reality TV” is tacitly acknowledged to be unreal, and someone can build a public identity around a street-racing accomplishment of dubious provenance and minimal documentation, why would anybody think that the “top-shelf” liquor they’re getting is authentic? And if you’re the kind of person who prides himself on demanding authenticity in tequila at a bar in Dallas, why haven’t you jumped off the top of a building yet, just for the sake of the rest of humanity?

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

More by Jack Baruth

Comments
Join the conversation
6 of 82 comments
  • George B George B on Jul 30, 2015

    "To capitalize on his fame from “Fast N’ Loud”, Rawlings opened up a bar in 2013. One can only assume that it’s patronized by middle-aged, middle-management men who like a bit of the ol’ leather biker cosplay on the weekends." Jack, I rarely go to Gas Monkey Bar 7 Grill, but mostly because it's a long drive through road construction hell on I-635 and I-35. The bar itself has good live music and decent drink prices. The crowd has a good mix of people.

  • Les Les on Aug 01, 2015

    *sigh* This has to be done. [Jack Baruth] "Blargarble! Richard Rawlings is a terrible guy! He did the Cannonball Run but didn't post proof to MY specifications so that means he obviously FAKED it and that's terrible and horrible and he's terrible and horrible! Lap-Times! LS-Engine! 360 No-Drift!" [EVERYONE ELSE] "Nobody cares. The Cannonball Run hasn't been relevant since that Burt Reynolds movie in the 80's."

    • See 3 previous
    • Les Les on Aug 03, 2015

      @VolandoBajo Hoo-boy.... *ahem* My comments regarding accusations of favoritism on Jack's part were spurious and ill-conceived in the heat of the moment. I retract and apologize. Richard Rawlings' Cannonball Run is arguable and you are free to dismiss them if you want to, I don't particularly care. That's not the point. The point is Jack made it out to be a centerpoint to Rawlings' 'persona' and sought to impeach him on that, when as I interpret it it's just a bit of background fluff and ultimately inconsequential. What do Hipsters have to do with any of this? As far as I can tell Rawlings doesn't enjoy Miller Lite 'Ironically', he just has shitty taste in beer from being a quasi-Redneck/pseudo-Dudebro. Are you calling Me a Hipster? ..but I've never been dumpster-diving in my life and I don't even own a hybrid. D: Jack Baruth Has mentioned he will not trust a man who wears cheep shoes, which sounds more than a little elitist. His comments complaining about the popularity of drifting and about having to share track-time with drivers less skilled than he is also has smacked of elitism in my opinion. I have no doubt in my mind that Hollywood can and will pander to whoever they think will bring in the most bank. Look no further than Micheal Bay's career. I just don't see Fury Road as a 'Femminist' movie beyond the whole, "Hey, women are valid human beings to." and I don't see why that is a problem. ..but then again I have a broader view of Feminism than can be gleaned from twenty-minutes on Tumblr. I have no problems with the adventures of Vodka McBigbra and Drama McHourglass. I only call them into question because Jack invoked the RedPills and nothing of good can come of that. I'm rather disappointed in Jack for going down that path. And that I suppose is the crux of it, I'm disappointed. I've been a fan of TTAC since the GM Deathwatch and of Jack Baruth as well, how the heck did you think I could amass so many anecdotes? Being a Jack Baruth fan hasn't been without it's little niggles along the way, Who ever is a fan of 100% of someone's output? It's just that lately, the little issues seem to be getting bigger, and coming more frequently. The bashing of the Fury Road movie based on the judgement of tired reddit memes was especially worrisome and the focus on Rawlings particularly smacks of, "You're having the wrong kind of fun, stop it!" When did Jack Baruth become so... Bitter? But regardless of how much or how little of a fan I used to be, how much of a fan I still am, or if I made all this stuff up and am actually an experimental turingbot unleashed upon everything YOU like by the SJW conspiracy one thing remains. "Don't like it? Don't read it." IS. A. NON-ARGUMENT. Yes, I called you childish, because telling me to go read Jalopnik (as if reading Jalopnik and TTAC were somehow mutually exclusive) instead is childish. Everything is open to criticism, everything. This is 'The Truth About Cars', a site centered around criticism, and one of Jack's most memorable and enjoyable tirades is him lambasting Porsche for basically saying, "Don't like, don't drive." after blacklisting him from their press-fleet for calling out defects in their product. You had some reasonable counters to my criticisms before. Some good, some bad, but either way still reasonable. 'Don't like, don't read' is NEVER a reasonable response to criticism.

  • ToolGuy This is the kind of thing you get when you give people faster internet.
  • ToolGuy North America is already the greatest country on the planet, and I have learned to be careful about what I wish for in terms of making changes. I mean, if Greenland wants to buy JDM vehicles, isn't that for the Danes to decide?
  • ToolGuy Once again my home did not catch on fire and my fire extinguisher(s) stayed in the closet, unused. I guess I threw my money away on fire extinguishers.(And by fire extinguishers I mean nuclear missiles.)
  • Carson D The UAW has succeeded in organizing a US VW plant before. There's a reason they don't teach history in the schools any longer. People wouldn't make the same mistakes.
  • B-BodyBuick84 Mitsubishi Pajero Sport of course, a 7 seater, 2.4 turbo-diesel I4 BOF SUV with Super-Select 4WD, centre and rear locking diffs standard of course.
Next