By on November 27, 2013

porsche4

“When,” I asked her, “did you realize that you, were, well, you know, an actual prostitute?”

“Well,” she said, rubbing her cigarette out in the waffle-patterned wrought-iron table, shielding her eyes against the sun as it set in the distance, “I’d been dancing for a while, and there was kind of a grey area there, you’d date a guy and he’d toss you some money to stay home from the club some nights, and then I started being less picky about the guys I’d let cash me out, if a guy was decent-looking he didn’t have to necessarily be my boyfriend. And then I had a friend who did a few parties from time to time, bachelor parties and stuff, and I went with her, and it was good money. And you get used to the idea that you can make five hundred or a thousand bucks really easy. So I stopped dancing because that was getting in the way of my ability to do parties.”

“And…”

And, I started taking calls to hotels in Beverly Hills. And one night I was on my way back from one of those and a guy in a nice car pulled up and offered me three hundred bucks for a quick date. It was bonus money, so I took it. Well, I went back to that street on a night when I wasn’t going to a hotel.” She frowns and looks down at the table for a moment before continuing. “So I’m out on the street, and I’m talking to a guy, and all of a sudden there’s a cop car there and they’re cuffing me, and I’m asking what’s going on, and they say I was soliciting, and I asked what they meant, and they said streetwalking, and I’m all, like, you have me confused with somebody else, I’m not a whore, I’m not a hooker, you know?”

Her hands flutter and she takes a sip of her soda, then she looks me square in the eye, level, expressionless. “Except, it turns out that I was.”

With the introduction of the Audi Q5-based Macan, the Porsche lineup for most of the world now looks like this:

  • An ugly RWD prestige sedan
  • A big SUV
  • A smaller SUV, still not cheap
  • A mid-engined, low-fuel-consumption supercar without a supercar badge
  • Two sporting cars that are basically the same vehicle once you get past the firewall

If that looks familiar, it’s because it was Toyota’s showroom lineup for 1987, minus the cars that anybody actually bought. Those of you who were alive and interested in automobiles back then might recall that Toyota never bothered to claim that it was primarily a manufacturer of sporting equipment in 1987, despite being actively involved in everything from IMSA to the BTCC, racing heads-up against other manufacturers in a number of highly competitive and tech-intensive series. Nope, Toyota never pretended to be anything other than a full-line automaker that happened to build a couple of sports cars — in this case, the Celica and Celica Supra. (Full disclosure: I’m probably biased because I won a race in a 1987 Supra but have yet to win anything besides a regional autocross behind the wheel of a Porsche.)

Porsche is now a manufacturer with three separate and distinct platforms for sedans and SUVs and just one for mass-market sports cars and GTs. If the Cayenne amounted to turning a few tricks on the side so the rear-engine “kids” didn’t starve, and the Panamera was the equivalent of doing call-girl work for a wealthy clientele, the Macan’s arrival should shatter the rest of the illusions. Stuttgart has its ass out in a thong now, strolling down Hunts Point with the rest of the big-booty SUV whores. It’s a crowded street. Everybody from Chevrolet to Infiniti has a $50,000 RX350 fighter for sale. This is the land of Toyotathons and Red Tag Sales and 580 beacon scores and deferred maintenance and upended Dairy Queen sundaes fermenting slowly under the rear seats while the kids play aimless adult-operated soccer games without official scoring.

On that street, Porsche is like that one blonde white girl with the great figure and the good teeth and the icy demeanor and a slightly less trashy outfit, holding her nose up in the air and pretending not to notice the catcalls from the Monte Carlos. In other words, she’s like my California gal pal. But it’s just an act. You don’t go on the ho stroll because you are honestly choosy about how you make your money. If you’re copping an attitude out there, it’s just because you’re going to charge a little more than the rest of the girls. It ain’t because you won’t be flatbacking by the end of the evening. Honey, it doesn’t matter what you think, and it doesn’t matter what you say; once you step out onto the street, you’re no better than anybody else.

This is the point where Porsche’s loyal fanbase begins sputtering in indignation. “But, but… Porsche builds those horrible trucks so they can keep making the cars that they really, secretly want to build! The cars that we love!” Yup, and the girl giving you a lap dance is just paying her way through engineering school, and the white powder around her left nostril is just makeup. I suppose that it might have been forgivable to buy that line twelve years ago when the Cayenne came out, because it was followed by the Cayman and the 996 GT3 and a couple of other cars that might not have made it to these shores had the company been pinching every penny.

Fast-forward to the present day, and it’s obvious that the Cayenne didn’t preserve sporting Porsches — it infected them. The 991 and 981 are bloated boats with monstrous center consoles and stratospheric pricing. If the trucks are subsidizing the cars, it isn’t obvious from the window stickers. The arrival of the 991 GT3, with its mandatory PDK, is a monstrous middle finger to the Panorama crowd, and Porsche’s avowal that it can’t afford to do a small two-seater below the Boxster even as it rolls out a small five-seater below the Cayenne amounts to a solid stream of disdainful urine into the face of anybody credulous enough to think that Porsche got into the truck game to preserve the purity of its fabled Nine Eleven. I’ve said it before, but we Porschephiles are almost like battered spouses in our eagerness to ascribe the best possible motives to our abuser despite all the evidence to the contrary:

“Honey, are you going to take the money I made for you and fix those engines that keep blowing up?”

“Hell no, bitch, I’m going to build a monstrous factory in Leipzig with that cash.”

“But you’ll use the money you make selling trucks with our cherished badge on it to make better sports cars, right?”

“You must be the dumbest woman alive. I already said I was going to spend the profits on making luxury sedans.”

“But the reason you’re doing the luxury sedans is so you can bring us a successor to the 914?”

“Nah.”

“Is it because you want to keep the 911 and Boxster small and manageable and free of unnecessary electronics?”

“I don’t think so. I think I’ll make them just like miniature Panameras.”

“But… but… you said you’d bring out a more affordable Porsche.”

“I must have been drunk when I said that. I meant to say I was going to make more trucks. Now shut up before I knock you down.”

“Can we please at least have a stick-shift in our $180,000 GT3?”

*unzips fly*

If all the product disappointments haven’t made it plain what’s really on the mind of Porsche’s management, surely the stock-and-profit escapades of the past few years should have done so. Billions of dollars were wasted in an attempt to pull off some sort of David-and-Goliath fiscal fairytale. Sums of money that could have engineered and delivered brilliant love-letter-to-the-customer product disappeared down a rabbit hole. In the final analysis, a company that is absurdly profitable building well over 150,000 vehicles a year managed to suffer a fate that it had avoided when it sold a thirtieth of that volume — namely, submission to Volkswagen. The Porsche executives weren’t content to be in the car biz. They wanted to be in the money biz, which brings me to mind of Samuel Johnson’s Life of Congreve:

But he treated the muses with ingratitude; for, having long conversed familiarly with the great, he wished to be considered rather as a man of fashion than of wit; and, when he received a visit from Voltaire, disgusted him by the despicable foppery of desiring to be considered not as an author but a gentleman; to which the Frenchman replied, “that, if he had been only a gentleman, he should not have come to visit him.”

Given stewardship of the second-brightest star in the enthusiast firmament, Herr Wiedeking stabbed the 928 and 968 through the heart so he could play at being a financier. There is almost not enough bile in my liver to properly express how I feel about a betrayal, a catastrophe, a fall of that magnitude. And of course the product suffered.

The worst is yet to come, for both Porsche and its fans. If your glory days were glorious enough, you can trade on them for a long time; to this day, the Reverend Al Green can still command fifty thousand bucks to stand on a stage somewhere and sing “Let’s Stay Together”, no questions asked. But sooner or later the younger generations stop picking up what you’re putting down. The 2002 Cayenne was an unmitigated piece of shit but we all cut it some slack because it shared a badge with the 917K. Now there are kids in high school who don’t remember when Porsche didn’t make trucks. Ten years from now, Porsche will be known to most people as a purveyor of trucks and sedans, the same way that Linda Ronstadt became primarily a singer of the great American songbook and Ice Cube became the guy from the movies with the vacations and stuff. Sure, they’ll still build the 911, but Chevrolet’s been building the Corvette since the dawn of time and its existence makes not a whit of difference to Tahoe or Impala buyers. The shield of Stuttgart, if it is lucky, will shine with about the same luster as the stylized “L” of Lexus.

If, that is, Porsche is lucky. Because another thing that comes along with the territory of being a full-line vehicle manufacturer is that people stop giving you a pass on building junk. Those fabulous JD Power results for Boxsters and Nine Elevens aren’t a result of high quality — they’re a result of low expectation. Everybody knows that when you buy an exotic sportscar that you’ll have some nagging issues. The PCM screen won’t come on, the tires will wear out in five thousand miles, the door handle will fall off, the IMS will explode at the 14,000 mile mark, the IMSA 935 will go backwards into some trees, something like that, bro. Accept it. You signed up for it. But if you think that people will be just as patient because they happened to buy a Porsche Macaw or whatever instead of an RX350, think again. That buyer has expectations for quality and durability, and those expectations are set by the RX350, a vehicle they called the “Toyota Harrier” in Japan because it hovered directly over the competition and didn’t stop shooting until everybody’s mother was dead.

No RX350 in history has ever had a quality flaw. Any potential flaws are immediately handled by Lexus Service, who lets you borrow an LS460 for the weekend and explains to you how the defect was actually your fault, and you agree because you don’t want to be the first person in history to discover a quality flaw in an RX350. When you start thinking about selling your RX350, word gets out and one day you open your front door to find a line of people trying desperately to be the highest bidder for your Lexwagon even though your five-year-old just projectile-vomited a fermented Dairy Queen sundae into the center-console buttons last week and it’s still dripping out. All used RXes continue to be worth 81% of their resale value until they are raptured into heaven from beneath their sixth owners at the 500,000-mile mark, leaving behind a satisfied family of Somali immigrants clutching a certificate good for $21,000 trade-in on a new RX350.

That is the bar over which the Macaw must step. This is considerably more difficult than the market requirements for the 911, which are;

  • Look like a 911
  • Be more reliable than an ’87 Testarossa
  • Or at least as reliable
  • Or, failing that, be cheaper to fix

Those were conditions that Porsche could generally meet. But the cheaper the car, and/or the bigger the market, the higher the expectations. There’s a reason that you can buy a Cayenne Turbo S for $15,000 against an original MSRP of $143,000 just seven or eight years after it leaves Leipzig: it doesn’t meet expectations. The man who spent six figures on the Cayenne Turbo S can afford to take that loss, but his more modestly-accomplished younger brother can’t afford to take the same hit on his Macan. If you want to play in the mass market, you need to bring mass market skills to bear. There’s no evidence that Porsche has those skills. Which means that they will eventually fail, and they will fail on a scale from which there is no recovery.

I could be wrong. The Macan could be a tremendous success and it could be so well-built and reliable that it creates an entirely new generation of loyal buyers who can’t wait to buy the Porsche sports cars as companion pieces. The next Cayenne and Panamera and mini-Panamera and mini-mini-Cayenne and B-segment hatch could all be dynamite products. Thirty years from now, Porsche could be the biggest auto manufacturer in the world, offering a line that spans scooters to semi-trucks. Or I might be right, and the company might be heading for the edge of a very high cliff. If that happens, we’ll remember the Cayenne, and the Panamera, and the Macan, alright. Not as the saviors of Porsche, but as the moths in the closet that ate away at the brand until nothing but threadbare pretense was left to cover the shame of a thousand tricks turned for the sake of the almighty Euro. There’s a penalty for that, you know. Take a look at a television next time you’re away from the embrace of the Western world. There are still places where the word “harlot” is used, and there is a penalty for those to whom the word is applied, and the penalty is, regrettably, death.

Get the latest TTAC e-Newsletter!

192 Comments on “Avoidable Contact: Cayenne won’t help ya, Cayenne won’t do you no good....”


  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    Cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good,
    Now, cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good,
    When the Cayenne breaks I’m gonna’ need a tow.

  • avatar
    Sam P

    And this, kids, is how you do a Jack Baruth rant.

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    Thanks, Jack.

  • avatar
    pb35

    What a great analogy. Made my day.

  • avatar

    The intro is just priceless, and then you start sawing on the corpse. Absolutely classic Jack Baruth. Thanks

  • avatar
    golden2husky

    That was entertaining, and sadly, true. But for the moment, most don’t believe it. Anytime I mention such things as cliff like depreciation/horrid reliability for the German snot brands as a warning against long term desirability, I get looked at like I’m an idiot. Who wouldn’t want a Mercedes or a Porsche? Well, people like me who expect a long life without major hassles. I can tolerate, no, accept a high wear rate of consumables like tires as a fair trade for high performance. But short engine life and mechanical failures are not due to high performance use. They are due to slipshod engineering. Such a high level of depreciation should be a major warning sign. But for the moment, nobody cares. It has to be good, just look at the badge.

    • 0 avatar
      th009

      My last two “German snot brand” vehicles were driven for 8 and 7 years, respectively (from new). Neither one experienced short engine life, mechanical failures or slipshod engineering. In 15 years, one tow to the dealer (repair covered by recall), and probably less than $5000 spent in repairs, excluding wear items.

      Currently my third “German snot brand” vehicle is just a few days short of two years old. Not a single repair to date.

      • 0 avatar
        krhodes1

        Jack, the guy who owns three Porsches and a Benz at last count, sure knows how to get the rabble worked up. The rabble who for the most part will never be able to afford “a German snot brand” car, and thus disparage them to make their Camry-driving selves feel better. My experience mirrors yours, th009. I have had one repair in 30 months on mine though, guess I should just junk the thing now and save myself a load of future heartache. Sheesh.

        • 0 avatar
          ajla

          “The rabble who for the most part will never be able to afford ‘a German snot brand’ car, and thus disparage them to make their Camry-driving selves feel better.”

          Yea, that doesn’t sound elitist at all.

          You really think that many of us can’t swing the lease payment on a 320i?

          • 0 avatar
            Sam P

            “You really think that many of us can’t swing the lease payment on a 320i?”

            So if you’re leasing and you’re in the market for a small sedan that drives better than a Camry, why don’t you go for a 320i?

            They’re certainly a better car than the Benz CLA, which looks to be inferior to a loaded Jetta GLI.

          • 0 avatar
            ajla

            “So if you’re leasing and you’re in the market for a small sedan that drives better than a Camry, why don’t you go for a 320i?”

            I personally like the 320i, but not everyone is in the market for a small RWD sedan and not everyone puts “drives better” high on their purchase criteria or lives near a BMW dealer.

            My point is more that being able to afford a new BMW (or Mercedes or Audi) in 2013 doesn’t put you into some elite wealth class that allows you to look down on the common Toyota driver as just jealous of your German car’s price tag.

        • 0 avatar
          jeffzekas

          Wow. We found the only 2 guys in America who haven’t had terrible experiences with German cars! Gee, I can beat BOTH of you: my family has owned *NINE* Deutsch Autos, all expensive, all requiring an insane amount of maintenance- even when compared to my dad’s Jag and my daughter’s early Hyundai. The fact is: there will always be exceptions (like the salaried guys who work for the PR Dept of Porsche/MB/BMW and post here under pseudonyms). But for those of us who like RELIABLE and AFFORDABLE vehicles ($4,000/yr in maintenance is NOT “affordable”) the Toyota and Honda motorcars are still the way to go.

          • 0 avatar
            th009

            I am not counting maintenance (which has not been excessive, given that my “German snot brand” cars are not of the high-end variety). But repairs averaged over 17 years of ownership are on the order of $300/year. (I’m not counting VWs as “German snot brand”, but for the record, our VWs have had similar long-term reliability records.)

            And I do know other people driving “German snot brand” cars, too, without excessive repair or maintenance costs.

            But feel free to hate anyway.

          • 0 avatar

            I am the 3rd guy that have zero problem with Deutsch car. My 335d is one of the most reliable vehicle I have owned. Yes, I have also previously owned many Toyotas.

          • 0 avatar
            vvk

            I guess I would drive a Toyota or Honda if someone made me do it. For example, if they threatened to kill me.

            Of my own free will, there is no way, NO WAY I would drive a Toyota or Honda. Life is too short to drive boring cars. You are welcome to do it but it is not for me.

        • 0 avatar
          Arthur Dailey

          So who is more affluent the person driving the 3 year old paid for Camry or the person driving the new leased 3 series BMW?

          Your attitude is what is currently maintaining ‘snot’ brand sales, purely image.

          Nearly all quantitative surveys put them rather low on the quality scale.

      • 0 avatar
        28-Cars-Later

        Two questions, how many miles in those periods and how long would/do you expect to get out of a car?

        • 0 avatar
          Sam P

          Not TH, but I’ve driven my German snot brand car for 4 years and 35k miles. Non wear repairs have probably totaled around $1200.

          I’m happy with the car. It has a manual transmission and gets over 30 mpg at 70 mph in sixth gear. At 178 inches long – the size of a modern Honda Civic – it’s easy to parallel park in the city of Seattle.

          I expect to take it to 150k miles, maybe more. Inline six BMWs rule.

          • 0 avatar
            Kyree S. Williams

            I’m a little worried about the new twin-turbo units, but a naturally-aspirated inline-six seems like it would be fairly easy to keep alive…not “Camry easy, but not much trouble to fix or maintain yourself…

          • 0 avatar
            baconator

            These generalizations get chucked around, but there’s not hard data to support them either way, as far as I can tell. More anecdote that’s not data: My E36 M3 has gone for 171k miles with just regular maintenance. It just chucked its alternator – its first mechanical failure in 16 years on the road – and the Bosch remanufactured replacement was cheaper than the remanufactured Delphi alternator on my GMC truck. The GMC (with the forum-favorite LS V-8) has eaten two alternators in its first 71k miles. I’ve had a half-dozen BMWs at this point, all driven foot-to-the-floor without turn signals per stereotype, and only my E90 328 had true issues; the rest lasted well beyond 10 years / 150k miles.

            The key rules with German cars are to avoid dealers for service once out of warranty, and replace fluids etc. on the sort of schedule they had before “free service” was included with a 3-year lease. These are probably pretty good rules for other cars, too.

            And oh yeah, kudos to Baruth for telling it like it is. They’ll still sell a bajillion Macans, and we’ll see whether the reliability is good enough to convince the soccer moms to re-up for a 2nd one when the first lease is up.

        • 0 avatar
          th009

          @28-Cars, averaging a little less than 20,000 km/year, maybe 11-12,000 miles/year. We tend to keep ours cars between 5 and 10 years.

        • 0 avatar
          3Deuce27

          I’m number _ ?

          Here are some miles for you ’28’.

          96′ 328is purchased new with 200,001 miles when I pulled the perfectly good motor for an M5 transplant. Only one repair, and that didn’t put me on the hook, in all of those miles, a VANOS seal. and not the fault of BMW, a blown spark plug that ruined the coil and needed to have and repair insert. My son did a plug change when he was about fifteen and crossed up the threads. The only other problem was a sunroof that started to have hic-ups closing at around 190,000 miles and and sixteen years, and still requires multiply switching to get closed. I will fix it, someday.

          Items of note; At 200,001, it still had the original Clutch/Radiator/Pumps/Alternator/Starter, and the paint is still so nice that people who don’t know what year it is often think it is a new or newer car. I did have problems with the drivers seat cover and headliner, now replaced. Other then that I couldn’t be more satisfied with the durability of the products from BMW. I also own 5-series touring, and a 91′ 318is.

          In addition, I do a little trading in E-30’s/36’s/E’46’s. I’m often amazed at the mileage(200,+++, 250,+++) on some of these cars, especially the ones with full histories. From the records, what I find, is a lot of regular service work, but very little repair, but then , I don’t look at junk. And junk is not BMW or MB or Porsche’s fault. It’s the result of the treatment they receive at the hands of their new owners/second hand owners who defer service because they couldn’t afford the car or any car, in the first place.

          My uncle for years owned a independent European repair shop, and his bread and butter was water cooled VW’s and to some extent Audi’s, he never had anything bad to say about BMW’s or MB’s, though, we both know, that like any car, they all have their issues.

      • 0 avatar
        Kevin Jaeger

        Yeah, my immediate family has a small fleet of “German snot brands” that are 30, 22, 14 and 5 years old, all with well over 100k on them. I wonder how long they have to last to qualify for this long life. And what is this about short engine life?

        • 0 avatar
          jz78817

          So they have over 100k on them. That’s at most half of the story.

          I mean, when I sold my (Neon) SRT-4 it had 164k on it but I still had to fix/replace a fair amount of stuff to get there. Mostly the front suspension bits; evidently the orders from Stuttgart were to construct its running gear out of Tinkertoys.

      • 0 avatar
        Jeff Weimer

        Ages, and I mean 25 years ago, a Mercedes meant long life without major issues. Porsche? Eh, not so much but it was understood to be “high-strung” , but still better than much of the competition.

        Now? No one wants to own a German car out of lease or warranty.

      • 0 avatar
        jz78817

        “The rabble who for the most part will never be able to afford “a German snot brand” car, and thus disparage them to make their Camry-driving selves feel better.”

        I could easily afford a 3-series. I have a Mustang GT instead. I disparage “German snot brand” cars not because of the cars themselves, but because of their typical owners. Why? read your own post.

      • 0 avatar
        PriusV16

        I´m pretty indifferent to German brands, but isn´t spending hundreds of dollars *a year* for unscheduled maintenance (read: repairing defects) — *outside* of the *regular* maintenance, which is probably also in the hundreds-of-dollar-per-year range — a bit excessive?

        A car that needs to be fixed that often sure as heck doesn´t qualify as “reliable” and “problem-free” in anybody´s book.

        A car that runs 100k miles with only regular maintenance needed, *that´s* a reliable car.

  • avatar

    This is that moment in Lifetime Original movie when the battered partner see their love for what they have become.

    You broke my heart Jack, but you set me free.

  • avatar
    Nostrathomas

    Sometimes it gets tiring to always bicker with people who claim Porsche is just fine making SUV’s on the side, but these types of articles really lay it down why. It’s been slow, but steady, slide downhill towards a truck company making sports cars on the side (if time allows).

    I long for the days when the biggest thing you could bicker about was air cooled vs. water.

    I wouldn’t even mind so much what Porsche is doing these days (I’d never buy a new one)…if only their actions didn’t keep raising the values of the classic Porsche era. It’s totally working against my 3 Porsche Plan.

    • 0 avatar
      GiddyHitch

      If,

      991 > 997 > 996

      then how is that a decline in anyone’s eyes except middle aged enthusiasts who wish that Porsche was still making 993s so that they could buy one used ten years down the line?

      • 0 avatar
        Jack Baruth

        The 997.2 was a better car in nearly every respect than the 991.

      • 0 avatar
        Nostrathomas

        Just get into a 993 and then get into the 991 to compare. One feels like a german pocket rocket, while the other feels like a luxury GT.

        When you first come upon that 993…it looks like it was chiseled out of one piece of granite. When you get in, you notice how everything is simple but rock-solid. You notice the industrial-grade dashboard and trim that will probably survive the apocalypse. You feel the floor-mounted clutch pedal that will turn your left leg into a tree trunk. You look around and wonder where all the gizmos are. Then you turn it on, and listen to that magical sound that rumbles down half the block. You forget to even turn the radio on…the sound itself is all you need. When you drive, you’re a little scared of this car (even though you’ve heard stories of it’s batshit insane parents), but you can’t seem to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face.

        Now when you come upon that 991….it looks great, but jeez, it sure is big. You get in and notice how everything is shinier and flashier. You notice all the luxury…there’s a lot of it, even though a lot of it is plastic. There sure are a lot of buttons and things. Your grandma could drive this thing, it’s so refined. Then you turn it on. Sounds…nice. I’m sure it drives nice too.

        The thing is that the 911 HAS gotten better in almost every rational way… but somewhere along the way the magic was lost. I’m not middle-aged (unless 32 is my middle-age, in which case I really need to start taking better care of myself), but somehow I still long for the 993… and the 911, and the 928. And I have a 1st-gen Cayman in the garage. I love that car…but it needs some old friends.

        But honestly, even if the 911 was where it’s at, if they still made a 928 (and not a bloated whale version) and the 914 or 944 along the way, I’d be fine with it. But they don’t. The only thing that comes close to a Porsche of old these days is the Cayman/Boxster….and even that pales in comparison to that 993 in many ways.

      • 0 avatar
        Nostrathomas

        Just get into a 993 and then get into the 991 to compare. One feels like a german pocket rocket, while the other feels like a luxury GT.

        When you first come upon that 993…it looks like it was chiseled out of one piece of granite. When you get in, you notice how everything is simple but rock-solid. You notice the industrial-grade dashboard and trim that will probably survive the apocalypse. You feel the floor-mounted clutch pedal that will turn your left leg into a tree trunk. You look around and wonder where all the gizmos are. Then you turn it on, and listen to that magical sound that rumbles down half the block. You forget to even turn the radio on…the sound itself is all you need. When you drive, you’re a little scared of this car (even though you’ve heard stories of it’s batshit insane parents), but you can’t seem to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face.

        Now when you come upon that 991….it looks great, but jeez, it sure is big. You get in and notice how everything is shinier and flashier. You notice all the luxury…there’s a lot of it, even though a lot of it is plastic. There sure are a lot of buttons and things. Your grandma could drive this thing, it’s so refined. Then you turn it on. Sounds…nice. I’m sure it drives nice too.

        The thing is that the 911 HAS gotten better in almost every rational way… but somewhere along the way the magic was lost. I’m not middle-aged (unless 32 is my middle-age, in which case I really need to start taking better care of myself), but somehow I still long for the 993… and the 911, and the 928. And I have a 1st-gen Cayman in the garage. I love that car…but it needs some old friends.

        But honestly, even if the 911 was where it’s at, if they still made a 928 (and not a bloated whale version) and the 914 or 944 along the way, I’d be fine with it. But they don’t. The only thing that comes close to a Porsche of old these days is the Cayman/Boxster….and even that pales in comparison to that 993 in many ways.

        • 0 avatar
          Vega

          The same thing people said about the 993 when it came out. Compared to a 911 Carrera 3.2 it was a luxury GT. It’s just the normal progression of things.

          • 0 avatar
            mmahon04

            There’s a difference I think, though, between objective and subjective progression. Subjectively, the car changed in terms of spirit, going from a fairly raw, sporting car to a sporting car beginning to show GT trappings. Objectively however, little to nothing was lost in build quality from the 3.2 to the 993.

            I think we’d all be much more okay with Porsche’s actions if their cars didn’t steadily escalate in inflation adjusted price, while steadily lowering in quality…both objective measures. The transition from strict sports car to lightweight GT could be overlooked to a degree.

    • 0 avatar
      Battles

      Years ago I basically lost a job by telling a bloke, who as it turned out drove a 4wd 997 Turbo convertible, that I thought the 4wd 997 Turbo convertible was a worse crime against the brand than the Cayenne and would do more damage long term.

      So thanks Jack Bloody Baruth for outlining how I lost that argument as well as the job.

  • avatar
    Pch101

    Americans have been moving away from passenger cars and toward light trucks for some time, and others have begun to follow the same trend. Best that we get used to it; those who fight the tide tend to get drowned for their trouble.

  • avatar
    cognoscenti

    THIS: “Because another thing that comes along with the territory of being a full-line vehicle manufacturer is that people stop giving you a pass on building junk.”

    Thanks for saying it like it is, Jack. This is a key pillar of TTAC – to point out that the Emporer is naked!

    • 0 avatar
      cognoscenti

      Emperor, I mean. Geez, that was a quick edit window.

      Also intended to lament that I’ll probably NEVER be able to afford a Singer now :(

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        I am genuinely not the kind to lust after too many things, nor am I the kind of person that marketers nor promoters find malleable to their designs, but I mist confess that the populist Top Gear UK review of the Singer 911 by James May recently had me strongly desiring a drive jn it.

        Yes it’s overpriced, and yes it has too details that are unecessary in terms of quantity & quality, but for the most part, it’s a beautiful, custom 911 that really seems to successfully pay homage to the core, timeless, best redeeming traits of the the Porsche 911 in most ways, and even seems to improve on those traits jn some areas (exhaust note, for instance).

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    I was remiss not to mention that this is Jack at his finest, full of well reasoned piss & vinegar.

    I also should mention that I expect to see the wrong wheel drive Mercedes CLA Camcord pwner & Porsche Macan workin’ the same low rent street corners, together, in the wee hours of the night.

    “But they are selling!,” they/you/we say.

    Indeed they are.

  • avatar
    qest

    With this one, I think you’ve finally passed Clarkson. Still below Ezra Dyer, though. He makes me laugh without the questionable content.

    Congratulations!

  • avatar
    kosmo

    To think that the domestic auto makers are ridiculed for badge engineering.

    • 0 avatar
      Vega

      There is a difference between badge engineering and platform-sharing. Just look at a Q5 and a Macan, both from the inside and outside. If you can’t tell the fundamental difference, I really can’t help you.

      • 0 avatar
        jz78817

        well, when people stop calling the MKz a “badge engineered Fusion” maybe this complaint will go away.

        • 0 avatar
          bball40dtw

          The MKX and Navigator are the worst of the badge engineering in Lincolns. The MKZ, MKC, and MKT are all significantly different than their Ford stable mates. The MKT even has a longer wheelbase than the Flex or Explorer. The MKS is somewhere in the middle. D-platform sedans all kinda look alike anyway.

          • 0 avatar
            DeadWeight

            How is the MKC different than the Escape from a chassis standpoint?

            Is the nearly 1″ of alleged extra “wheel track width” Lincoln claims that makes it special?

          • 0 avatar
            tresmonos

            I’m interested in this, as well. bball40dtw seems to have some industry inside knowledge about Ford. Maybe I worked with him in my past job?

            I know the D47X (MkT / Flex) were the same as the D258/358 (Taurus/MkS) in the fact the body had risers to elevate the belt lines and that the body’s were essentially extended. Other than that, they were very similar. Body construction yielded very different vehicles.

          • 0 avatar
            Kyree S. Williams

            The MKC also has lowered pillars compared to the Escape. From a chassis standpoint, the MKC isn’t too different from the Escape, but the Escape is a decent-handling crossover so there doesn’t need to be much differentiation.

            To me, rebadging occurs when two vehicles use the exact same body. It mostly occurs In BOF SUVS such as the Tahoe/Yukon/Escalade or the Expedition/Navigator and Durango/Aspen. If you want a foreign example, there’s the Land Cruiser/LX 570. But sometimes, rebadging isn’t a bad thing, especially when both vehicles aren’t sold in the same market. The Nissan Patrol and Toyota Land Cruiser Prado are both sold overseas, but we have them in luxed-up forms, which are the Infiniti QX80 and Lexus GX 460, respectively. Too, these luxury SUVs have different mechanicals than their plebeian counterparts…

            The MKZ isn’t at all a rebadged Fusion, especially in comparison to the former version (which was). Platform sharing is not a crime.

  • avatar
    David Walton

    Bravo!

  • avatar
    Vega

    Oh look, another knee-jerk “Porsche has lost it”-article.

    I don’t really see how a 981 Boxster is bloated. The base Boxster has 5hp MORE than the 2003 Boxster S while weighing 10kg less. Show me one other vehicle line in the world that has managed a similar feat in the last 10 years.

    Porsche will never built $25k crap sedans or pickup trucks, Volkswagen has other brands for that. Your comparison to Toyota or Chevrolet is thus not really valid.

    Constructing, building, federalizing and selling cars has turned so expensive in recent decades that expanding your portfolio is the only way to guarantee survival. All the cars from Porsche history that you worship were built in much simpler times

    The only other option would be just to cater to purists and die after a few years like TVR and numerous other brands.

    Oh and btw., a few decades ago zealots like you bemoaned the 924, 944 and 928 as heresy from the one true Porsche legacy. Say what you want about the botched VW takeover but when Wiedeking came in he saved the company. In the early 90s, nobody bought the front-engined Porsches anymore due to a sales collapse in the US. The 911 was hopelessly unprofitable. Wiedeking bet the company and his own money on the 996 and the 986 and saved Porsche from extinction…

    • 0 avatar
      Jack Baruth

      “I don’t really see how a 981 Boxster is bloated. The base Boxster has 5hp MORE than the 2003 Boxster S while weighing 10kg less. Show me one other vehicle line in the world that has managed a similar feat in the last 10 years.”

      Is the answer Corvette? The base C7 has ninety more horsepower than the C5 while weighing less.

      Is the answer Ferrari? Curb weight figures aren’t necessarily reliable, but the current 458 has much more power than the 360 or 430 while weighing no more.

      Is the answer Mercedes-Benz? The current SLK weighs less and makes more power at all trim levels.

      Is the answer Lamborghini? The Aventador weighs less and makes more power than the Murcielago.

      Other than those four examples off the top of my head, I can’t think of too many more.

    • 0 avatar
      trackratmk1

      Vega nailed the two things that are dictating Porsche’s product direction: Regulations and customer purchase habits.

      Here’s the regulation part:
      “Constructing, building, federalizing and selling cars has turned so expensive in recent decades that expanding your portfolio is the only way to guarantee survival.” – CAFE regs favor larger footprint vehicles and “alt fuel” vehicles by easing their mileage targets or offering credits. When the 991 came out, rumors circled that its larger platform was designed around a future battery-toting hybrid 911. There are hybrid and diesel versions of the Cayenne, Macan, and Panamera. Porsche is predicting these requirements and meeting them by diversifying their lineup with cars they KNOW more people will buy (SUV’s and sedans).

      However I don’t think that Porsche’s first goal as an automaker freed of these regulations would be to build gas sipping cars… for instance, hydraulic steering wouldn’t have been replaced for <1mpg gain, if they were not looking for every fraction of economy. So the regs are part of the pain. It also hurts that meanwhile, given these restrictions, the market overall is moving to light trucks and larger sedans, as PCH101 noted.

      Here's the changing customer part: "The only other option would be just to cater to purists and die after a few years like TVR and numerous other brands." – Porsche has knowingly given the middle finger to their so called "core" many times over. Front engine experiments. Air-cooled to water-cooled 911's. 911 weight gain. 911 weight gain. 911 weight gain. Mid-engine experiments. SUV. Sedan. Electric steering. PDK only GT3. Competition evolves, and Porsche has to evaluate whether they can afford to be ONLY a raw hardcore sports car maker, or if they can still be the best sports car maker while bolstering their lineup within the VW Group (publicly traded company) so that they can make money to survive for the indefinite future.

      While many bemoan the weight and loss of feel, compared to their competitors, Porsche still by most accounts gets the awards for having the most transparent and immersive driving experience of any sports cars today (the same goes for their SUV and sedan). Given what they're up against, that's impressive. And go figure, Porsche sales are better than ever. I read here on TTAC that Porsche sold 1.9% of VW Group vehicles through Q3, but owned 22% of the Group's profits. We can judge in 10 years time whether the new 981 and 991 are/were good cars. But is Porsche naieve to their challenges and even more so, their heritage? I don't think so.

  • avatar
    AKM

    Damn, Jack, I have no idea if you look good when you’re angry, but you certainly write well when you’re mad.

    If any Porsche exec hadn’t closed their webpage as soon as they saw you names, they are now severely burned!

    Congrats on that wonderful piece of opinion. And I certainly hope you’re in the right, as even seeing Panameras and Cayennes make mecringe.

  • avatar
    AMC_CJ

    I think there is one point that is missed;

    These Pseudo-Porches are just re-badged VW platforms correct? The Cayenne wasn’t developed as much as it was a redesigned VW Touareg. The vehicle was there, hey, why not make some money?

    Why buy a crappy Boxster when you can get a new Corvette at the same money? Especially the new Vette. Now, used, I’ve looked over used Cayman’s. Red, with black wheels. Unlike most Porsche owners, I have the youth and looks to pull off a car like that without looking like a douchebag. It’s amazing how cheap you can pick one up used too <$30k without much of a try. Like New V6 Mustang territory. But with a used Porsche, I figure I have about 20k good miles left in it. The new Mustang;10x that….. sorry, pass.

    Oh, but the 911. What a neat car. Get a 4S to run to my cottage on Martha's Vineyard. Except I don't have a cottage on Martha's Vineyard, but if I did, I'd probably buy a Mercedes CL class to handle the rough roads up the east coast better…. Porsche lives in a fantasy land, and I think as you pointed, so do most of their owners. They make a inferior overpriced product; period. And do I dare say they have for far longer then pointed out?

    • 0 avatar
      jz78817

      “These Pseudo-Porches are just re-badged VW platforms correct? The Cayenne wasn’t developed as much as it was a redesigned VW Touareg. The vehicle was there, hey, why not make some money?”

      for fuck’s sake. “Platform sharing” is not “badge engineering.” You want to see what re-badging is like? Look at the entire Mercury line-up at the end of it’s existence. Or the Pontiac G3 and G5. Or if you really want to see badge engineering, look at any of the late ’70s-early ’80s GM mid- and full-size cars. You almost literally had to walk up to the fucking things and read the nameplate to figure out if it was a Chevy, Olds, Buick, or Pontiac.

      A vehicle which shares a platform with another yet has completely different styling, sheetmetal, interior, and engines is not even remotely a “re-badge.”

      • 0 avatar
        AMC_CJ

        There’s more to of one car in another than you think. Sure the sheet metal might be different, but underneath you think the electronics, modules, switches, window motors, etc. are any different? I even bet those “different” engines share a lot of the same components. Ignition and fuel components, etc.

        You could cross-reference generic part numbers to find out. I’m not going to spend the time to prove a point over the damn internet. I take apart vehicles all the time and fix them, it’s my profession. I’m not sure of your background, nor do I really care, but I say this stuff from experience.

        I don’t know how many “audi” parts are on the VW Jetta we have, but I’ve replaced many of them.

        • 0 avatar
          jz78817

          “There’s more to of one car in another than you think. ”

          er, no, I work in the industry. I’m pretty well aware of what gets shared where. It still doesn’t justify you dismissing the Cayenne the way you did. people like you who have no clue what goes into bringing a vehicle to market love to toss around the notion of “re-badging” as though you’ve caught an automaker being “lazy” or something. If that’s what floats your boat, fine, but don’t expect everyone to take you seriously.

    • 0 avatar
      Vega

      “The Cayenne wasn’t developed as much as it was a redesigned VW Touareg.” Apart from the fact that they did not share a single interior or outer body panel, and only share 1 out of 3 available petrol engines you’re right. Which is to say, not at all.

      “But with a used Porsche, I figure I have about 20k good miles left in it.” My 110 thousand mile Boxster would like a word with you. Yes, first engine… And if you really can’t tell the difference between a Cayman and a Mustang while driving it, you really shouldn’t buy the Porsche (nothing agains the ‘Stang, it’s an excellent car).

      • 0 avatar
        AMC_CJ

        ” And if you really can’t tell the difference between a Cayman and a Mustang while driving it, you really shouldn’t buy the Porsche”

        Driving feel is all relative and subjective. My 83′ Jeep Renegade is awful. My 78′ Chevy sedan is infinitely better, and the 79 Chevy coupe of the same car is completely different from that. I love how both drive, but the latter is about the eptiome of “perfect” for me.

        There isn’t enough space on the internet for me to explain why, or try to convince you otherwise.

        Now the Mustang, that handles pretty good, a little loose at the limit, but I shouldn’t be going around on-ramps at 90mph anyways. Pretty much capable beyond any legal limit, and I don’t believe 99.9% of people out there could push that car to it’s limits. I don’t like it’s steering though, too foreign. I like the feel of the 70’s Chevrolet, and I like those better than most modern cars I’ve driven. But that’s my preference, that’s what feels good to me.

        See, I work on mechanical things. Driving feel and all is subjective, and I don’t like subjective and that just isn’t anything to argue. Now, I do work on all my own vehicles. Looking over those Porsche’s I think I’ll pass. Too complicated, and I’m not sure why. Besides, it’s not like 110k miles is anything to brag about. My 78′ Chevy has a 95hp V6 with nearly 140k and 35years on it too boot.

        I have my opinions set on the German cars I’ve seen, been around, and pulled apart. But when you come with my background, and look at cars the way I do, you probably would too. The Cayman’s look awesome, man what a cool car, I’m sure they handle great, and what a big steaming turd all at the same time.

    • 0 avatar
      JuniperBug

      “Unlike most Porsche owners, I have the youth and looks to pull off a car like that without looking like a douchebag.”

      I don’t know, man; to me it looks like you pulled off that look without even getting in the car.

  • avatar
    wmba

    Those new CAFE regulations tying mpg requirements to shadow plan size of a vehicle are what bloated the 911. In a stroke of genius not seen since the Brits introduced car fees dependent on bore size, leading to decades of long stroke chuffers, the EPA allows lower mileage for bigger cars. That way trucks can remain on the market and get less than 27.5 mpg or whatever it is they’re saying is allowable.

    Stay Puft new cars are practically guaranteed for smaller manufacturers, so that the mpg they must get is actually less than it was for the older smaller platform.

    This was all nattered about some three or four years ago when the EPA introduced their future better economy requirements. Also trucks can get less mileage bringing down corporate fleet average requirements. Voila Macan. Blame the government as well as Porsche.

    • 0 avatar
      Pch101

      Building large vehicles does not exempt an automaker from achieving overall fleet averages. It’s not possible to avoid CAFE obligations by building larger vehicles.

      The overall effect of the new CAFE rules is to require automakers to find ways to save fuel for each platform. That probably means more hybrids, more start-stop systems and weight reduction programs.

    • 0 avatar
      trackratmk1

      This. Absolutely. And combined with needing to pack a bouncy castle worth of airbags into every passenger compartment, and passenger impact standards meaning higher hood heights and higher belt lines (consequently worse sight lines), all just means that engineering an SUV or a large car for global sale is that much easier than a low-bodied, lightweight, skinny sports car.

      • 0 avatar
        juicy sushi

        Yet curiously Toyota, Nissan, Mazda and FIAT (Alfa Romeo)all either build, or plan to build one (Chevy’s also thinking about one). That said, other than Alfa Romeo, none of those brands are “desirable”

    • 0 avatar
      imag

      OF COURSE CAFE does not make sense. Any economist will tell you that the right way to reduce fuel consumption is to tax gasoline. Most politicians will admit that privately as well.

      The problem is that raising gas prices is politically untenable. Most Americans will go ballistic when they see that number rise.

      Raising gas taxes would incentivize smaller cars while and providing us with better roads and public transportation. High gas prices would also make the value proposition of EVs accessible to ordinary folk who do not have huge tax appetites or the ability to purchase a Tesla.

      But we don’t live in that world. We live in the world where people go nuts about a $5/month charge to maintain a checking account, while commonly overlooking the fact that the banks took tens of thousands of dollars from them via bailouts and QE. They see only the direct and observable and ignore the indirect and complex.

      So we end up with boondoggles like CAFE and EV incentives, which everyone realizes are boondoggles but are poor indirect routes to reduce our energy use. Whether or not you think we NEED to reduce our energy use is an issue I won’t get into.

      • 0 avatar
        Pch101

        The Europeans are moving toward a combination of high fuel taxes and its own version of CAFE. For the US, it’s a tradeoff between the two, but the EU is managing to do both simultaneously.

      • 0 avatar
        ihatetrees

        “Raising gas taxes would incentivize smaller cars while and providing us with better roads and public transportation.”

        I agree with the small cars part. But your latter conclusions may be money flushed. ‘Public’ transit systems and (to a lesser extent) road maintenance firms are chock full of luddites whose primary objectives are kingdom building and ensuring that competition/innovation are legally knee-capped.

  • avatar
    ash78

    “Stuttgart has its ass out in a thong now”

    So you’re saying the Whale Tail is back?

    This was a fantastically written piece and had me laughing throughout. The analysis is directionally accurate, too. Instead of a Macan (which I’m sure will be fine, just like the Q5 is fine), why isn’t Porsche reaching towards an entry-level sports car — a la Toyobaru — that will bring more future buyers into the fold on a CORE level? I think the reason is that they see sports cars as ancillary business now, not core business. They’ll keep riding the 911’s heritage to sell their other cars, but this is just one more step at becoming just another manufacturer with a confusing message and overwhelming choice.

    And I know I’m not the only consumer who, when faced with confusing and overwhelming choice, makes the “safe” decision: RX350. Toyota and Honda’s current business models are bolstered by the plethora of choices from manufacturers who don’t have the heritage of world-class reliability.

    (disclosure: I do not own an RX and do not plan to buy one, but can fully agree with the author’s assessment of their fan base, perceived longevity, and residual values.)

  • avatar
    jmo

    “Can we please at least have a stick-shift in our $180,000 GT3?””

    The point of the GT3 is to go fast, no? A manual transmission is no longer the best way to do that. So, why offer it?

    • 0 avatar
      JuniperBug

      For the same reason they offer a rear-engined supercar when the best way to go fast is to put the engine in the middle, I bet.

      Even in that price/performance category, going fast isn’t the only thing that matters.

    • 0 avatar
      Mike N.

      I always thought the GT3 was marketed more as the ultimate fahrvergnügen/driving pleasure 911 and that the “go fast” 911 was the Turbo.

      • 0 avatar
        juicy sushi

        I think courtesy of Top Gear and modern motoring press, the Turbo is now seen as the considerably less glamourous of the pair. But the manual limited the commitment to only the few.

        Now, PDK let’s the poseurs step up, and at the same time Porsche can mark up a car that is probably cheaper to make (by virtue of having less stuff in it).

        • 0 avatar
          jmo

          Sorry, poseurs are the ones driving a manual when it’s a slow antiquated technology.

          In 15 years all my cars have been manuals and I love them. But, lets not kid ourselves and claim a manual is anything other than an anachronism.

          • 0 avatar
            Pch101

            “lets not kid ourselves and claim a manual is anything other than an anachronism.”

            For now, there are still many instances when a manual provides superior performance and slightly better fuel economy.

            In a decade or two, that will probably no longer be true.

          • 0 avatar
            JuniperBug

            How is driving a manual the act of a poseur? I don’t know what fantasy you live in, but in mine my everyday driving doesn’t remotely resemble a racetrack. The manual transmission gives more of a connection to the car and makes the drive more engaging and fun.

            Even when I’m on the racetrack, I enjoy the challenge of heel-toeing and matching revs, and since I’m not competing for times but am in it for the lulz, guess how much of a damn I give that an automated box would get me around the track a little faster. And that’s before getting into how much it would cost me to keep a PDK,
            SMG, BBQ gearbox healthy and happy over years of aggressive use.

            If that makes me a poseur, a lot of enthusiasts out there are poseurs.

          • 0 avatar
            Sam P

            Until a dual clutch gearbox provides the reliability of a traditional manual transmission, they won’t be “anachronisms”.

            Now go read about “false neutral” on the DSG.

            http://forums.tdiclub.com/showthread.php?t=235168&highlight=false+neutral

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    Here’s my thought, what was the point of joining up with VW if momma VW won’t let you suckle on her money tit? I though the point of all these exotic super-car makers joining up with the big boys was so that they would be able to concentrate on the cars that would make them great.

    If a manufacturer like Porsche has to build cars that please everyone to keep the cash flowing, why be hooked up with VW?

    • 0 avatar
      Bark M.

      Fuel economy requirements, I believe. The Up! balances out the 991.

    • 0 avatar
      juicy sushi

      Because profit! The Porsche brand sells better than the other names VAG has, so you might as well put on that red dress and start singing “Roxanne.”

      The hook-up came through Porsche management screwing up their financially suicidaly attempt to buy out VAG through massive leverage. They tried to eat the bigger animal, and were devoured when they failed.

  • avatar
    velvet fog

    A Cayenne, a Macan or any other crossover unibody SUV is not a truck, it’s a tall station wagon.

  • avatar
    dmw

    This rant just strengthened by conviction that prostitution should be legal, safe, and free of financial oppression of sex-workers.

    If Porsche wants to take its fair skin and perfect teeth into a Park Hyatt lobby bar to make some coin, who am I to judge. And for this purpose, I would disagree with Jack’s expectation that Porsche’s Johns are going to be unhappy with the product because the nice Dominican lady they dated last week showed up on time, did not order the 12-course prix fixe, and demonstrated similar level of comfort and performance. They want the Porsche because that’s who they want to be seen with in the valet line. Indeed, they will brag about the “high maintenance” aspect of the relationship as well as the high initial cost. Maybe in 15 years when Porsche is Audi, and the owners are the sort who omplain about brake dust on the “hub caps” and the car “pulling” when they have never put air in tires for years, things will be different. But even now, no one expects to be buried in his Audi like a Viking. No Audi owner, unlkke the RX owner, morbidly brags about how his car will go to 300K miles or until he dies whichever comes first. They expect to sell them in 5 years and get something nicer/newer.

    • 0 avatar
      PrincipalDan

      On your first point, there sure hasn’t been a civilization that has been able to stop it. Might as well regulate and tax it and make it as safe as possible for all parties involved.

      But damn now we’ve gone and got political again on a car blog.

    • 0 avatar
      juicy sushi

      I don’t think they sell them. They call the leasing guy at the dealership and bring it in when the face-lifted one comes out.

  • avatar
    oldowl

    Quoting Johnson on Congreve was unexpected, but to his credit William Congreve did write “The Way of The World.” That play may anticipate Porsche’s going such a way. A later William Congreve invented the naval rocket of the sort that bombarded Ft. McHenry in the War of 1812. Mr. Baruth seems to take after him. Still, there’s nothing like wit and rocketry to make a point.

  • avatar

    “The arrival of the 991 GT3, with its mandatory PDK, is a monstrous middle finger to the Panorama crowd, and Porsche’s avowal that it can’t afford to do a small two-seater below the Boxster even as it rolls out a small five-seater below the Cayenne amounts to a solid stream of disdainful urine into the face of anybody credulous enough to think that Porsche got into the truck game to preserve the purity of its fabled Nine Eleven.”

    Sheesh, don’t you guys have editors? Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to write long, complicated sentences? It confuses people who’ve been taught by “language arts” teachers to be terminally afraid of commas, conjunctions (except when they are used, improperly, at the beginning of sentences) and complex thoughts.

  • avatar
    PenguinBoy

    Hate is love turned upside down – and nobody does that better than Jack!

  • avatar
    LeeK

    Oh fer crying’ out loud! Bimmerphiles have been bemoaning the dilution of the brand for over two decades now: Each 3 and 5 series is worse than its predecessor. Only “real BMWs” have round tail lamps. The X3 and X5 is the end of the line. And so forth. BMW is laughing all the way to the bank. As will Porsche with the new Macan.

    In 2002, before the Cayenne and Panamera, Porsche offered exactly two cars. Eleven years later those two cars are still being offered. The enthusiast/old geezer who can afford the things will still buy 911s, Boxsters, and Caymans while shooting icy stares at the trophy wives driving by in their Cayennes and Macans. Eleven more years from now they will still bemoan the lost good ol’ days of Porsche Purity and *still* be able to buy a new 911, Cayman, or Boxster. Probably with some kind of electric propulsion, too. Oh how the Porschephiles will gnash their terrible teeth and roar their terrible roars!

    Tony Soprano leased the Cayenne for Carmella, and she was thrilled. After three years — assuming Tony isn’t whacked or in jail — it will be turned in for another car, a Q7 or ML perhaps. Nobody buys these things. There will be no fermented Dairy Queen residue because the CPO program will clean that up before the next owner takes over, and they will be as thrilled as Carmella because they will have a real Porsche in their driveway. Only the same gang bangers who now drive clapped-out 7 Series will have to deal with the oppressive maintenance issues around the eight year mark and they too will be thrilled. It’s a “Porsh”‘ yo.

    • 0 avatar
      Delta9A1

      This. The future of Porsche is secure when 40-something owners of multiple Porsches write three-page rants on the future of “their” marque, and attract 100 passionate replies. The Macan, like the Cayenne, the Panamera, the Cayman/Boxster and the 991 911 before it, will be embraced by the motoring press and win comparisons with comparable models. The Macan will be mentioned over and over as the “drivers” city-size CUV. Jack Jr. and his Bark cousins will grow up knowing that, whatever vehicle he or his spouse buy in 2038, new or used, if he considers himself to be a “driver”, like his father, he’ll own at least one Porsche.

    • 0 avatar
      jcain

      Yeah, a lot of these are leased, but Porsche isn’t really competitive with the other Germans on lease terms anyway. They’re relying on their brand image to get a $200-300/month premium over BMW or Mercedes. Hard to convince someone to get a $700/month Macan over a $500/month X3 when there’s no major difference in “prestige” between the two.

      Like Jack was saying, if they lose their image they’re going to have to compete on things (reliability, incentives, etc.) they haven’t really had to compete on in the past.

    • 0 avatar
      Kyree S. Williams

      On one hand, I agree with some of the points in this article. On the other hand, it seems like the only way to please these enthusiasts is to literally freeze time and not do any newer models…which still won’t please people who like the cars from prior-decades.

      Sheesh…

      • 0 avatar
        mmahon04

        As a current 3.2 owner (and former 996 owner), it’s not so much a desire to freeze time, but a desire to have the company to return to their core focus/competency.
        – They have no need to be full line, so why are they?
        – What’s the deal behind the continuing price escalation (either inflation adjusted off base model, or comparable feature set to other premium manufacturers)?
        – Why the continuing quality slide (plastic fasteners, plastic gears on motors, etc)?

        As Jack said, it’s indicative of a “money biz” mentality. Not a good thing.

        • 0 avatar
          Delta9A1

          The requirements of a modern engine are likely one reason for the price escalation. The move is towards more complex, more efficient and more powerful engines, but to “add lightness” (plastic) where possible. There have been mis-steps along the way – post-OBDII SAI injector issues on the 993, IMS bearings on the 996 and 997 Mk. 1, but other manufacturers (BMW comes to mind) have suffered similar hiccups over the last 20 years. A base model 3.2 was significantly more expensive than the best Corvette in its day, and that is still true today for the current base model 991 911.

      • 0 avatar
        typhoon

        The problem with Porsche is that its enthusiasts were so extreme for so long that they were easy to tune out. It’s hilarious in this age of Porsche trucksters to remember all the outcry over water-cooled engines, engines mounted anywhere ahead of the rear axle, or God, anything done correctly, really.

        Personally, I’d settle for Porsche focusing on sports cars—maybe even making a more affordable one!—but obviously they’ve found there’s more money in selling “prestige.”

  • avatar
    FractureCritical

    Jack’s best writing yet. controlled bile and articulated reasoning.

    One of my litmus tests for a sucessful product is the “match stick test”
    you have to be able to make a defensible buisness case for a product in less time than it takes for a match to burn down to your fingers.

    not enough car compaines do this.

  • avatar
    Reino

    Porsche died for me in 2006 when Tony Soprano bought Carmella a Cayenne. At least when we called the Boxster a ‘secretary/hairdresser’ Porsche, the fact was that secretaries and hairdressers still worked for a living. Carmella in her Cayenne set the stage for millions of entitled soccer-moms/trophy wives to drive around to her brunches and show her girlfriends that her husband makes more money than theirs. At least an RX350 shows some level of modesty. The Cayenne does not. My wife bought a 4Runner and I love her for that.

    • 0 avatar
      Nostrathomas

      “At least when we called the Boxster a ‘secretary/hairdresser’ Porsche, the fact was that secretaries and hairdressers still worked for a living.”

      That’s hilariously good insight, Reino.

    • 0 avatar
      kvndoom

      I just watched the Sopranos in its entirety this past summer (most incredible serial TV of all time, I have to add… Breaking Bad is close, but not close enough).

      It’s funny you mention that. I remember that exact moment with such clarity, and remember feeling that same mix of anger and exasperation.

      • 0 avatar
        Reino

        Haha, yep. Edie Falco is a great actress, given by her ability to make Carmella the most annoying housewife ever seen on TV. Tony was by definition a sociopathic asshole, yet you still felt sorry for him every time Carmella gave him a lashing.

        A few episodes after she got the Porsche, she goes to pick up a friend and says “Oh, that’s the new KIE-YAAAAAAN”. Like fingernails on a chalkboard.

  • avatar
    david42

    Whew. I was getting worried that we had lost the old Jack. All it takes to bring him back is the destruction of his idols.

    Anyhoo… to the real point of the article: Is there a reason to think that the Macan will be so much worse the Q5? If Audi can get away with building, you know, Audis… then surely a mostly-Audi Porsche is a big step up in quality? I don’t know much about the Macan, perhaps it’s different enough that Porsche can get themselves into trouble (again)?

  • avatar

    Dear Jack:

    Just. Freaking. Brilliant.

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Classic Baruth.

    Until the part about Beverly Hills it sounded like talking to my ex-turned-stripper many moons ago. She called it “overtime”.

    • 0 avatar

      Sounds like a fun girl! Why did you drop her?

      • 0 avatar
        28-Cars-Later

        She moved back to New York City (where she was originally from) got pregnant to an ex at 17 or 18 and after that is when she became a stripper (to support the child). We stayed friends but as she descended into that world of alcoholism, physical abuse, cocaine, and heaven knows what else I was glad I wasn’t part of it.

        I remember alot about the inside of that business, she said most of the girls have to be high or drunk in order to perform (at least initially) and most them foster some sort of substance abuse problem. Money was easy but greed could become dangerous. The older girls often fought with the younger ones for show times and what not, as the older girls just had to have a Lexus or Mercedes and move to Manhattan and after a short time of dancing they had to maintain a certain level of income in order to keep up with the Joneses. Many girls ended up working private parties and basically whoring themselves out at those or to private individuals, she called it working overtime… but of course she never did that and at the time (2002) I believed her. Evidently the career path of a stripper is something along the lines of survive long enough to become a madam, some kind of team leader at a club (runs the shows and costumes, manages the girls), or wife of mafioso/club employee. We haven’t spoken since 2008 but from what I remember she had married and was pregnant so it sounded like she cashed out and married someone affiliated with her club. Every guy I have ever met loves going to strip clubs and the lesbo stuff the hot girls do, to be quite truthful with you I can’t stomach a strip club to this day after knowing what goes on behind the scenes, for many (if not most) its a degenerating life and you as a dancer are a disposable commodity.

        • 0 avatar
          Reino

          They also marry cops. Something about needing an authoritative male figure that she missed out on growing up. And the cop wants that hot piece of arm candy that has her own income because he can’t afford a typical golddigger on police income. Ten years later they’re divorced.

          • 0 avatar
            PrincipalDan

            And that’s why I’ve only been to one of those establishments twice in my life. The last time I was in one “Milkshake” by Kelis was in the top ten.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            Renio I think you’ve loosely described a good deal of marriages in general.

  • avatar
    dartman

    While I find JB’s writing style and analogies entertaining, all you have to do is check out Porsh-uh’s website to read how they have “jumped the shark” as a world class builder of performance automobiles…

    Strategy

    We’ve always been ambitious.
    And we’ll make sure it stays that way.

    The focus of our company has always been on people – whether it’s our customers or employees.

    At the same time, the core element of our corporate objectives is value-creating growth. This provides us with the means to invest in innovative technologies, new products and, above all, in our workforce. Our aim is to be market leader. We want to grow profitably the Porsche way – with enthusiastic customers and as an excellent, social and family-friendly employer.

    We will also improve our processes and develop new ones, while ensuring a good rate of return. We have everything we need to achieve these goals: emerging markets, fascinating vehicles and highly motivated staff.

    Talking of our workforce, this is another area where we are looking to significantly grow by 2018. This also includes expanding the infrastructure accordingly.

    …very little here about the product other than -fascinating vehicles-
    ’nuff said.

  • avatar
    HiFlite999

    After a rant like that, Jack should not only never expect to be invited to any Porsche press event ever, he should prepare for a night visit by a half-dozen ex-Stasi operatives.

    Expect a series of armored sedan reviews from him in the near future …

    • 0 avatar
      kvndoom

      But that’s the way it SHOULD be… I love this site and it’s #1 because they aren’t afraid to p1ss folks off by telling the truth.

      I mean they literally have to rent some cars from AVIS or wherever in order to do reviews. “No press car for you!”

      • 0 avatar
        DeadWeight

        This.

        It’s the primary reason I come here (the other being that the editorial staff & administrator aren’t arrogant pricks who don’t tolerate criticism – as long as it’s not baseless).

        I detest sites where the reviews are all along the lines of what Motorweek (John Davis on PBS) produces; where no matter how bland, meh or terrible the vehicle, criticism of it is never genuine or complete, and everything gets seemingly graded on a “B- curve.”

        Jack’s apparent willingness to not sell his critical soul for free airplane rides, hotel suites, golf outings, brunches & other swag, even to the point of conducting reviews of rental cars (everything from econobox hatchbacks to minivans to Penske Shelby GTs) – that type of fierce independence at a time when the media NAS been completely corrupted by corporatism – that truly strikes a loyalist chord deep within my non-conformist soul.

  • avatar
    Morea

    The street cars are just background noise. The question is can Porsche unseat Audi as the King of Le Mans? Peugeot came close (winning once before withdrawing from sports car racing). Toyota is putting in a half-hearted attempt. Perhaps the ghosts of the 917s past can propel Porsche back to the top of endurance racing.

    (And is the 911 rear-engine package too compromised for 21st century GT racing?)

    • 0 avatar
      tjh8402

      @Morea: last years GTE-Pro class win by the 991 says it’s not. They’ll be in the TUSCC going up against works teams from Corvette, Viper and BMW and in the WEC against works Ferrari and Aston Martin entries so we’ll see.

      • 0 avatar
        Morea

        Coming in last in the ALMS GT manufacturers championship (1. Chevrolet, 2. BMW, 3. SRT, 4. Ferrari, 5. Porsche) means they have work to do.

        I wish them luck but Porsche racing is not what it used to be.

        • 0 avatar
          tjh8402

          @Morea – the Porsche that raced in last years ALMS GTE was a 997 and was a single entrant run by a privateer team. It didn’t stand a chance in the long run against the works teams two car efforts, nothing against Falken as they have an incredible program for the resources they’ve got. They did score a great win at Petit Le Mans. Next year will be more interesting, as you’ll have Core Motorsport running a two car factory effort with a 991 and then Falken getting a 991 (the first privateer team to receive one) starting at Sebring.

          • 0 avatar
            Morea

            There were three, not one, Porsche full season entries in ALMS GT: Team Falken Tire, CORE Autosport, and Paul Miller Racing.

            The grid was typically two Vettes, two Z4s, two Vipers, two 458s, and three 911s.

            Porsche has a stellar racing history but lately their efforts have been on road, not race, cars. Perhaps that will all change in 2014.

          • 0 avatar
            tjh8402

            I realized I forgot Paul Miller…I’m drawing a blank on the third… Flying Lizard was in GTC…still whether 2 or 3, they weren’t factory backed and they had the old car, which put them at a substantial disadvantage against the factory BMW, Viper, and Corvette teams. The one time the factory Porsche team faced the others with the new car, at Le Mans, they won. Next year, Porsche is also the only company with a factory backed GTE/GT-LM team in both the WEC and the USCC. Corvette, BMW, Viper, Ferrari, and Aston Martin have all committed to only one series full season (there will be crossover at the enduros).

    • 0 avatar
      Syke

      Having just hired Mark Webber away from Red Bull F1 shows that they’re definitely deadly serious about the effort. Eagerly awaiting next June, and I’ll be rooting for Porsche all the way.

    • 0 avatar
      Snavehtrebor

      Hasn’t the engine migrated forward with each generation? God knows they have enough room in the wheelbase now.

      Anyway, Toyota’s half-hearted attempt just netted top step of the podium in Bahrain.

      http://motorsportstalk.nbcsports.com/2013/11/30/toyota-wins-wec-season-finale-in-bahrain/

  • avatar
    Halftruth

    Porsche – “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

    There is no shortage of brand whores that will pony up the money to be seen in a Porsche/Audi/Beemer etc. Reliability be damned.

    Porsche ain’t going nowhere. Thonged ass and all.

  • avatar
    maciejewskiadam

    What a fantastic article. Having delivered a 964 Targa last year (flew to Nashville dealership and drove it back to Alberta), I can truly attest to the indescribable traits of that car. To see what Porsche builds now (although I still have a weak spot for any GT3, and the 997.1, despite its reliability failures, is a pure beauty to look at), rings quite bizarre. I don’t know what to say though, I’m still a whore at heart for Porsche 911s. Now that BMWs REALLY suck and everything. What other choice do I have?

  • avatar
    Ryoku75

    I feel about the same way Jack, I’m not a huge Porsche fan but I don’t care for how the companys basically tossed what made it good in favor of becoming, well what you typed.

    At least the 928 had distinct styling to back it up though, unlike the Mecan, Cheyenne, and that glorified Mazda 323 sedan which all look like Porsches other cars.

    With VW and Porsches merger it’d be nice if we could see a low powered Boxster-based Beetle, instead we get a VW Jetta with two doors torn off and 2 grand added to the price tag, oui. If anything it just means more AudiVW platform clones which yes look different but why would I buy a Porsche Cheyenne over a Tigu…VWs SUV?

    • 0 avatar
      kvndoom

      Honda’s heading in the same direction, much to my sadness.

      • 0 avatar
        Ryoku75

        Agreed, starting with the death of the S2000 the only thing they had that really interested me were Civic Si sedans, until they cheapened them out. I’ve seen good Civic SCCA racers, but out of the box I doubt they’re really that fun.

        I somewhat look doward to the new NSX but already hate that it’ll be an Acura, it’ll have a huge “beak”, it’ll be 4WD, and it’ll be more of a cheap Audi R8 than a cheap Ferrari like the original.

  • avatar
    el scotto

    Psst, hey buddy come here; your anger and shame will be our secret, OK? See that Suburban LTZ and the ZR1? Either should silence most critics in any crowd you run in. Best thing about them? Explaining the repairs bills on them will be much less awkward than explaining a Porsche repair bill or those nasty phone sex charges on the Visa card.

  • avatar
    E46M3_333

    “… a vehicle they called the “Toyota Harrier” in Japan because it hovered directly over the competition and didn’t stop shooting until everybody’s mother was dead.”

    The wife drives an MDX. I think they sell pretty well compared to the RX350.
    .
    .

  • avatar
    kvndoom

    You know, long ago I used to (jokingly) threaten my youngest brother and my younger cousins with a menacing threat:

    “I’m gonna tear off your head and go bowling with your skull!!!”

    I feel that this is what Jack just did to Porsche, in a literary sense. Damn impressive.

  • avatar
    Oren Weizman

    The problem with Porsche’s ‘image’ today is that instead of making cars to one up your neighbour’s new S Class, they should be creating cars to one up the FR-S … but numbers don’t lie, Pordiwagen (or Audvworsche) is making big money on branding … the problem is that a few years back, so did Van Dutch and Blackberry, brand fatigue is the cyclical reality that can bleep you up the ass, so might as well cash in when it’s your turn at the register.

    In the meantime … let’s all watch some Conway Twitty

  • avatar
    ...m...

    …i do believe that’s smoke wafting from the top of my display…

  • avatar
    Vojta Dobeš

    Beautifully written, Jack. But I don’t think you’re right. Audi has been able to sell people overpriced, fragile junk for decades now, as well as Volkswagen. They are even able to sell Volkswagens as Bentleys and be incredibly successful doing that.

    Porsche became just another step in VW’s version of “Sloan’s plan”. It became the thing you buy after Audi and before Bentley.

    How long are they going to be able to keep on doing that, I don’t know. And answer to that question concerns not only Porsche itself, but also our whole society, the culture of buying overpriced junk in the name of “brands”, debt-based economy, et cetera…

    • 0 avatar
      28-Cars-Later

      So its the new Sloan plan, German style?

      • 0 avatar
        Vojta Dobeš

        Yeah. The whole VW Group works that way – it’s like GM in 1950s. Seat and Skoda linger in the bottom rung, offering Volkswagen technology on the cheap – with sporty image as Seat, or clever, practical one as Skoda. With a bit license, it could be compared to Chevy (Skoda) and Pontiac (Seat), although they’re on the same price level.

        VW is now where the Oldsmobile had been. Solid cars for solid people without intentions to show off. Slightly above the classic “everyman’s car”, but not premium.

        Audi is Buick. Almost-premium, playing with the big boys, showing off success.

        Porsche is becoming the Cadillac of VAG. Luxurious, fast, conveying the image today’s people aspire to.

        Lamborghini, Bentley and Bugatti are the Eldorado Broughams of VAG, multiplied.

        But, come to think of it, this is not 1950s Sloan plan. I think the VAG more closely resembles mid- to late-sixities Sloan plan. So, withing the next decade, we can expect Porsche’s equivalents of Broughams.

        I guess I’ll think about it for a bit, and maybe turn it into an article….

  • avatar
    jimf42

    funny…when I sold my 911SC a number of years ago and bought a 69 911S, it was because I didn’t need something so large and too much of an everyday car…

  • avatar
    fredtal

    Basically I have no real opinion on a car or the company that makes cars that cost more than my house. What I will mention in passing is that everyonce in awhile I come up to a Cayenne Turbo that refuses to go 1 mph over the speed limit. This is west of Houston in a rural area where I go 70 in a 60 zone and still get passed by pickup trucks hauling cows going 80.

  • avatar
    paulinvegas

    This has got to be one of my favorite articles. Truly Epic!

  • avatar
    70Cougar

    Yet another automotive journalist that’s too chickenshit to say anything negative about Porsche.

  • avatar
    Sigivald

    ““Is it because you want to keep the 911 and Boxster small and manageable and free of unnecessary electronics?””

    Of course not.

    The ten people who might actually want that aren’t coming back and haven’t mattered in decades.

  • avatar
    NoGoYo

    @Sam P: Yeah, I’d rather get a G37 than a Toyobaru, no matter how much the hachi-roku crowd raves about excellent handling and all that.

  • avatar
    cgjeep

    The next 911 will have the engine in the front but there will be big speakers in the rear to play engine noise from. Putting the engine in the front will make sense as it will be fwd as well.

  • avatar
    sportyaccordy

    JB has officially lost it. If there are better sports cars than the Boxster/Cayman/911 in their respective segments, I haven’t heard of them. Plus while the cars have grown in size they have remained the same weight for 2 decades. NO other car has done that. The analogies and rants in this are reminiscent of Kanye Wests’ latest outburts. Whole lotta talk and not a lot of meaning.

    • 0 avatar
      Pch101

      As is the case with many brand enthusiasts, he’s a traditionalist. That doesn’t go well with the increasing globalization of the automotive market, and the implications for product offerings.

      Porsche has to grow or die, and avoiding the SUV segment is tantamount to suicide. There isn’t enough demand for 911s or other more traditional sports cars to support the company in the current world economy. The days of independent low volume niche automakers are just about over.

      • 0 avatar
        PrincipalDan

        “As is the case with many brand enthusiasts, he’s a traditionalist.”

        My brand enthusiasm died with Oldsmobile. But that doesn’t stop me from being opinionated. I think some enthusiasts (myself included) want our brands in nice little compartments like a tackle box. What is the purpose for the vehicle? Choose the right bait for the job at hand.

        Jack has also written passionate rants about what Cadillac and Lincoln should be.

      • 0 avatar
        cgjeep

        I disagree that Porsche has to grow or die. VAG has to grow or die. If Porsche comes out with a small 4 door sedan and sells 20k a year great. But how many of those sales would come at Audi’s expense? Every Audi TTS sale probably comes at a caymen/boxer expense. Heck where I live they share the same showroom. So if you have to be a whore to feed your family, fine; but don’t steal tricks from your sister.

        • 0 avatar
          Pch101

          If the Porsche brand completely ignores the dramatic shift to crossovers, then it runs the risk of becoming irrelevant.

          And as it turns out, Porsche has done a credible job of appealing to the raised seat demographic. You’re correct to be mindful of the risks of cannibalization, but stepping on Audi’s toes doesn’t seem to have been a problem thus far.

      • 0 avatar
        ajla

        Porsche isn’t independent though. They are part of a huge automotive empire.

        This has nothing to do with keeping the 911 alive. VW sees a way to make money by re-working the Q5 and they are taking it.

    • 0 avatar
      Alexdi

      As of now, I’d say the C7 is giving them all a run.

  • avatar
    Kyree S. Williams

    Look, if you guys like the older Porsches so much, go out and buy a used one.

    There; I’ve said it…

  • avatar
    toplessFC3Sman

    It makes perfect sense when you realize that the current owners & people who have a stake in the company are all going to be gone in 10 years. They get rich, they hand off a legacy to someone else that’s been pilfered for everything its worth (but still is shined up for the sale, with decades of profits behind it), and then it falls flat on its face. I fear GM is heading the same way, but much more ham-fistedly

  • avatar
    Lie2me

    As I was reading this spot on analogy I couldn’t help seeing a future Lindsay Lohan. “I used to be a big star, now I kind of do this on the side between movies and for $50K you can do me and say you did me”

    What the poor John doesn’t know is no one really wants to be a member of that club

  • avatar

    I’m not normally one to say it, but you might be over-thinking it. If you were in the position of wanting to buy a mid-sized luxury SUV, would you rather be driving an RX350, or a Macan Turbo?

    Exactly.

  • avatar
    WhiskeyRiver

    Perhaps you would give us the number of that California gal…

  • avatar
    Domestic Hearse

    “The test of the machine is the satisfaction it gives you. There isn’t any other test. If the machine produces tranquility it’s right. If it disturbs you it’s wrong until either the machine or your mind is changed.”

    ― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

    It would seem, for our esteemed editor pro tem, the machine is getting wronger. His friend, whom we met at the beginning of the article, isn’t at all. I see the literary comparison, but the morality and ethics of an honest-to-goodness prostitute as opposed to the whoring out of the Porsche brand in bringing us the Macaw leaves us to understand the woman is quite the better in that she does not conceal her intentions or deceive her customers, while that is the entire intent of Porsche.

  • avatar
    CRConrad

    “Macaw”? You misspelled “Macaque‎”.

  • avatar
    philipwitak

    more than a day late and a dollar short, but i gotta hand it to you – for once, i am in complete agreement with you and your assessment of the situation regarding porsche. great job, jack!


Back to TopLeave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Subscribe without commenting

Recent Comments

New Car Research

Get a Free Dealer Quote

Staff

  • Contributing Writers

  • Jack Baruth, United States
  • Brendan McAleer, Canada
  • Marcelo De Vasconcellos, Brazil
  • Vojta Dobes, Czech Republic
  • Matthias Gasnier, Australia
  • W. Christian 'Mental' Ward, Abu Dhabi
  • Mark Stevenson, Canada
  • Cameron Aubernon, United States
  • J Emerson, United States