Chrysler Fails Moose Test And Breaks First Commandment

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

European automakers know that there is only one thing that is worse than Teknikens Värld fabled moose test, and that is failing the moose test and then arguing with the Swedish magazine. Italy-owned Chrysler is getting that education. Not enough that Teknikens Värld found the Jeep Grand Cherokee “lethal in evasive maneuver.”

It now caught Chrysler’s propaganda arm committing a deadly sin in the hoopla business, violating the first commandment of flackery: When you stepped in the shit, don’t walk around the house.

After “the Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland 3.0 CRD V6 tipped up on two wheels and was close to rolling over in the Teknikens Värld moose test, despite having packed the car in accordance to Jeep’s specifications,” Chrysler lashed out against the magazine, calling the report “definitely “set up,” which is nothing short of criminal.” Chrysler says the vehicle was overloaded by 110 lbs, a claim many overworked and underpaid web editor swallowed and printed.

Not true, says Teknikens Värld. In a spirited retort that may get more traffic than the original story, and Chrysler in trouble with the authorities, Teknikens Värld editor Mattias Rabe writes:

“Prior to the moose test we packed the car with four passengers and sandbags with a combined weight of 602 kilos (1 327 lbs) which is the maximum amount according to the cars certificate of registration that has been provided by Jeep/Chrysler to the Swedish Transport Agency, Transportstyrelsen. We proceeded to our test track to conduct the moose test. We immediately noticed that there was something strange about the car’s behavior – it tended to tip over on two wheels even at low speeds. We accordingly unloaded 100 kilos (220 lbs) out of the car so that the total cargo weight now registered at 502 kilos (1 106 lbs), 100 kilos under Jeep/Chryslers own registered maximum cargo weight. When we hit the track once again – now at the, for the type of vehicle, low speed of 63.5 km/h (39.5 mph) – the car went up on to two wheels and nearly rolled over.”

How the test is conducted: Standard evasive maneuver, no moose needed

Not enough that the Grand Cherokee failed the moose test, something that can seriously impede a car’s career in Europe (ask Daimler about the A-class.) Not enough that Chrysler’s public remarks will have attracted the attention of even the laziest lawyer. Spurned Teknikens Värld now alleges that Chrysler supplied wrong information to the Swedish government, saying that the car weighs “a full 158 kilos (348 lbs) more than what Jeep/Chrysler claims the car to weigh in the official documentation provided to Swedish authorities.”

Sweden is a member of the EU, the EU has Whole Vehicle Type Approval (a car legal in one EU state is legal in all,) and providing wrong information to one government quickly can turn into a pan-European mess.

Chrysler’s reaction, including the recommendation that Teknikens Värld editors take “phosphorous tablets, “a well-known supplement to support brain and memory” is mean spirited , and it is guaranteed to produce lots of bad PR.

Some may notice that the tires are in a perilous state on that picture. Teknikens Värld says the moose test was “conducted with the correct tire pressure for maximum load according to the recommendations provided by Jeep/Chrysler via a sticker on the car’s B-pillar.”

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Room339 Room339 on Jul 12, 2012

    Wait a minute, didn't your own Jack B write a post about how valid Chrysler's claims of a wrongdoing were? I'm confused, which side of this is TTAC on? Didn't Chrysler reps go there, control the conditions, and were unable to recreate the behavior? I have questions, but no answers. Please help!

  • El scotto El scotto on Jul 12, 2012

    Uh no. I've driven pick-ups and American SUVs on the autobahn, M roads, and the autostrada. The trucks in the right lane are commercial trucks, not personal vehicles. Most of the autobahn has speed limits nowadays, the M roads have posted speed cameras, and you'll probably get rear ended on the autostrada. The three things Americans have to deal with are: 1. getting used to and reacting when driving at high speeds, 2. How huge your vehicle is compared to European cars, 3. WTF looks from people seeing you in an SUV or crew cab truck. You either get the autobahn(what we patterned our interstates after) M roads, or the autostrada or scenic twisty European roads. You don't get both. Speeds are strictly enforced once you get off the expressways. Been there, done that with free gas.

  • FreedMike If Dodge were smart - and I don't think they are - they'd spend their money refreshing and reworking the Durango (which I think is entering model year 3,221), versus going down the same "stuff 'em full of motor and give 'em cool new paint options" path. That's the approach they used with the Charger and Challenger, and both those models are dead. The Durango is still a strong product in a strong market; why not keep it fresher?
  • Bill Wade I was driving a new Subaru a few weeks ago on I-10 near Tucson and it suddenly decided to slam on the brakes from a tumbleweed blowing across the highway. I just about had a heart attack while it nearly threw my mom through the windshield and dumped our grocery bags all over the place. It seems like a bad idea to me, the tech isn't ready.
  • FreedMike I don't get the business case for these plug-in hybrid Jeep off roaders. They're a LOT more expensive (almost fourteen grand for the four-door Wrangler) and still get lousy MPG. They're certainly quick, but the last thing the Wrangler - one of the most obtuse-handling vehicles you can buy - needs is MOOOAAAARRRR POWER. In my neck of the woods, where off-road vehicles are big, the only 4Xe models I see of the wrangler wear fleet (rental) plates. What's the point? Wrangler sales have taken a massive plunge the last few years - why doesn't Jeep focus on affordability and value versus tech that only a very small part of its' buyer base would appreciate?
  • Bill Wade I think about my dealer who was clueless about uConnect updates and still can't fix station presets disappearing and the manufacturers want me to trust them and their dealers to address any self driving concerns when they can't fix a simple radio?Right.
  • FreedMike I don't think they work very well, so yeah...I'm afraid of them. And as many have pointed out, human drivers tend to be so bad that they are also worthy of being feared; that's true, but if that's the case, why add one more layer of bad drivers into the mix?
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