New or Used: Buffalo Butts Need Not Apply…

S.M. writes:

Dear Steve and that other Dude,

As you well know, I am a little hooked on old-school American iron, preferably of the V8, high performance wannabe-GT cum Land Yacht variety. Problem is, they are letting me down in terms of basic transportation to work. Not that my Cougar and Mark VIII are complete turds, that guy with that Piston Slap column would have my ass if it came to that. But the occasional part needs replacement, and every recent modification (defective hi-flow fuel pumps, limited slip differentials assembled rather poorly) left me stranded and car-less for many days…and, well, you see my point.

I have a working budget of anywhere from 20-40k for a vehicle that’s new or lightly used. The ideal vehicle should be well proportioned with good visibility (no buffalo butts, I didn’t go to Industrial Design school for that crap), be RWD and not be a stereotypical European money pit that’s nearly impossible to repair in my garage. The ability to tune/tweak would be a plus and being more practical than my two coupes wouldn’t hurt, either. Not that I want another tuner car that’ll leave me stranded for one reason or another. Oh, and a stick would be nice.

Help!

PS: I am not interested in Panther Love. I wish you people would stop pushing these damn things on your readers. The only ones I’d consider are the “fat panthers” from the mid-90s with all the good stuff inside. I am not interested in taking a new, reliable “skinny” one and making it fat with parts from the junkyard. Been there, done that and already won the Fox Body trophies.

Steve answers:

Well Saj…I mean, anonymous dude.

You have a lot of nice wiggle room if you’re looking at the 20k to 40k range. If price is truly no object up to forty grand I would look directly at the the Hyundai Genesis sedan. It has plenty of power, Lexus levels of luxury, and an overall fit and finish that would make the Clinton era Panthers envious.

The 3.8L Genesis coupe with a six-speed would also be a great fit too since you may want something that is more akin to a touring sedan. Other non-Teutonic alternatives I would look at include the Ford Mustang, Chrysler 300, Infiniti G37, and my personal middle-aged favorite…a 2010 Corvette LS3 with a Targa top.

But I must ask… will at least one of your cars be running by the end of the month? Your predicament is why I avoid considering most aftermarket mods. Yeah, they may look good on the surface. But after years of looking at over 10,000+ repos a year as a remarketing rep, I got sick and tired of shiny plastic wheels and ‘upgrades’ that were like made out of recycled Chinese beer cans.

Keep your next ride stock. Only upgrade the obvious and chances are you may indeed forget that misguided chapter of your life called ‘Panther Love’.

Sajeev answers:

Damn son, you got mad issues.

I mean, choosing a car based on the height of its backside is more than a little disturbing. And not picking a “skinny” Panther completely goes against your grain. That said, Steve did a good job laying the truth on you: any Genesis, fat-ass Mustang or C6 ‘vette is what you need. Or maybe an Infiniti G37 coupe, it’s super classy just like that Mark VIII of yours. Good luck trying to keep any of these choices stock, however. You won’t last a month.

My advice to you is to grow the heck up. Stop looking at interesting, fast or inherently cool cars. You aren’t selling your hoopties and you don’t need anything remotely similar to them. It’s time to broaden your horizons and wake up to your future!

Need help with a car buying conundrum? Email your particulars to sajeev@thetruthaboutcars.com , and let TTAC’s collective wisdom make the decision easier… or possibly much, much harder.