How To Thwart Car Thiefs For Good: Ford Or Fluffy, Your Choice
“How do I avoid car theft?”headlines a UK website. The felonious misappropriation of automobiles is a menace, and everybody has his or her solution. Police departments use bait cars . Murilee uses secret kill switches, fabricated from “a spring-type clothespin ziptied into the underdash wiring harness, with electrical contacts in the jaws.” And what do they recommend across the pond to thwart a thief? You either put a stuffed animals in your car. Or you buy a Ford Ka3.
The Ka3 is burglary-proof, says the site.
“The least stolen car, based on customer data, is the Ford Ka3 with no incidences of theft among 9,070 owners between 2004-2011.” The website interviewed a former car burglar turned security export who said:
“A Ford Ka is not very likely to be stolen as thieves will view them as cheap, with no power, and no street cred among thieves.”
And what about the cars you have to watch all day, because they will be gone in the blink of an eye?
“The cars that are much more likely to be targeted are the BMW 3.5, Jaguar XJ, Mercedes C Class, and Range Rover Sport. These are sought after by car thieves as they are very fast, powerful, hold the road well and are built well. Protection on these vehicles will be high so it’s about getting hold of the keys. Manufacturers should include a tracker on new vehicles as standard.”
Now who trusts a thief, even if it’s a former thief? The website is Confused.com, which, despite its name, prides itself:
“Confused.com was the first price comparison website in the UK. We compare a wide range of trusted household names for car insurance; home insurance; gas, electricity and other utilities for your home; holidays and travel insurance; pet insurance; caravan insurance; and money products such as credit cards, savings and life insurance.”
According to Confused’s data …
“the Toyota Yaris is the number one most stolen car, according to a study by insurance comparison site Confused.com with a 0.41% incidence of theft. This means that car thieves drive off with approximately one in every 244 Toyota Yaris. Data looking at claims from 2004-2011 showed experts at Confused.com that after the Toyota Yaris, The Volkswagen Touareg (0.39%) (1 in 256); Volvo XC90 (0.27%) (1 in 370); Porsche 911 (0.24%) (1 in 417) and Seat Altea (0.23%) (1 in 435) are the next most stolen cars.”
The thief doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about. But then, Confused.com must live up to its name.
And if you don’t want a Ka3, and you still desire to sleep well at night?
“The Chevrolet Matiz, Suzuki Ignis, Hyundai I10 Comfort and Nissan Skyline have tiny theft rates of 0.02% (1 in 5000) or less.”
And if you absolutely want to make sure that the car is still there tomorrow, simply use the most powerful deterrent there is: Stuffed animals. Says Confused:
“If a car has flowers painted on it or fluffy toys inside it’s not a car that is likely be stolen because it draws the wrong sort of attention and they tend to be cheaper cars.”
Are we confused yet?
(Hat tip to an anonymous tipster from Glasgow, G42 8BG)
Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.
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We not only covered our LeMons car in stuffed animals for BS inspections, but we also dressed it up like a giant stuffed bunny rabbit. Funny...nobody stole our rusty oil-devouring lilac bunny Type 3. It works!
Does anybody here see any use in using the steering wheel locking feature to prevent theft? Periodically I go through periods where I use it, and periods where I don't. I've never been quite convinced that it does anything other than making turning the key a little more difficult.