By on November 21, 2010


The Index of Effluency, given to the team that accomplishes the most with the most terrible “race car,” is considered the true top trophy in 24 Hours of LeMons racing. This time, the long-suffering Property Devaluation team finally piloted their oft-repaired Fairmont wagon to a glorious 22nd-place finish.
We’ve seen this terrible Fox Ford at many Houston and New Orleans races, and the team has spent most of its time swapping and/or rebuilding junkyard-sourced Ford Windsors. Blown head gaskets, spun bearings, thrown rods, the whole spectrum of 302 woes have dogged these exhausted Texans for years. This time, however, the engine held together and the wagon ran for 24 (actually 19, thanks to an early-morning fog delay) straight hours. Congratulations, Property Devaluation!

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6 Comments on “And The Real Winner Is…...”


  • avatar
    Crabspirits

    We had the Mercury Zephyr counterpart to this car when I was a kid. It was a wagon with this EXACT flesh/wood color combo. Orange tweed on the inside with multiple shades of flesh-colored plastic. When we finally sold it in 89′, the minivans were in full effect and nobody wanted these things. It was in pretty good shape at the time, with very little wrong with it. I recall us getting $200 for it from a man who was upset that he had just got rid of a truck that could’ve used the zeph’s 302.
    Well-earned victory!

  • avatar
    ciddyguy

    I had the 4 door sedan version of the Fairmont, but with the 200 inline 6 and it WAS the first year for the car and the Fox platform. Thankfully it was NOT that horrid green/tangerine color combo, but a nice white w/ blue interior instead.
     
    My Dad bought it at a Gov’t fleet auction in 1982 and I got it in ’87 when my 78 Chevy Nova needed replacing.
     
    What a total POS, no performance to speak of, took forever to get up to speed, could not corner decently outside of creep speeds without plowing, brakes were fair, bench seat decently comfortable and was all vinyl bargain basement too.
     
    It was reliable enough but that was about it.
     
    Replaced it with a 1983 Honda Civic in 1992 that could out run this thing no problem, all with 67HP max under the hood from a 1.5L 4 pot and a 5spd manual. It was ALSO a lot more fun that that Ford ever could hoped to have been, drove that Civic 6 years and put about 70K on it before replacing it with an ’88 Honda Accord.

  • avatar
    LTDScott

    Four door and four eyed Foxes FTW.

  • avatar

    Man, I just love seeing Murilee’s LeMons updates on TTAC…
    And FWIW, team Property Devaluation is run by one of the coolest dudes on the planet.  While I may be saying that because he speaks the same Fox language as myself, there’s no doubt they deserve this victory.
    I’m glad they finally figured out why they were blowing windsor V8s all the time, now that the motor is sorted, they are gonna be a forced to be reckoned with. This is my prediction.

  • avatar
    DeadFlorist

    My dear mother had a ’79 Zephyr sedan in fecal brown, with light brown vinyl benches.  The frequent overheating was because it was shipped from the factory with the wrong radiator.  When mom would drive me to school, it would stall at the top of the same hill on a left turn onto a busy street, every morning without fail, leaving mom cranking it over while blocking two traffic lanes.  The daily stall was the only thing it did reliably.  It was the ugliest vehicle ever made, one of those exercises in right angles that results when a kindergartner draws a car.

    I wish I had it back.

  • avatar

    My family had a 1982 Ford Granada wagon *only year it was a Granada* with the 232 CI V6.  That was my first car and when it was running, it ran like a champ.  Much like every one else who has owned one, boy do I miss it.  I am very very happy to see that people are still running these cars!  Well Done Team Property Devaluation!!!!!


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