While GM models continue to debut and disappear like Manolo Blahniks, the Chevrolet Corvette stays the course, slowly evolving towards excellence. To mark the retirement of Chief Engineer Dave Hill, Car Czar Bob Lutz posted a short honorific on GM's fastlane blog: "Dave was often disruptive, stubborn, unwilling to take direction, unwilling to take advice, unwilling to accept constraints or limits — in other words, the perfect man for the job." In other other words, Hill was a successful guardian of the Corvette flame DESPITE GM, not because of it.

Lutz' unintentional condemnation of his employer's corporate culture won't surprise anyone who's had dealings with The General. I've received dozens of emails from GM workers and suppliers. They describe an organization so complex it makes the legal system in Kafka's The Trial seem like basic addition. One story convinced me that the phrase "institutional paralysis" was coined by a seat bracket designer. Another persuaded me that "matrix management" and "total chaos" are synonymous. And another reminded me of A Confederacy of Dunces, and left me wondering why more GM managers haven't followed author John Kennedy Toole's example.

You know what I love about the new Hyundai Sonata? Nothing. You know what I hate about it? Nothing. In other words, it's a hit. Out there in the real world– away from the elitist, over-educated automotive palate of a professional car reviewer– any vehicle that asks nothing whatsoever of its owner is guaranteed a place in the average American motorists' affections. If the automobile in question is cheap, reliable, comfortable and inoffensive, millions of people will buy it, love it and, eventually, buy another one. The new Hyundai Sonata is all that, and more. Not much more, but some…

Aesthetically, you've got to credit Hyundai for their tireless pursuit of total inoffensiveness. Rather than stick with any one of the company's four previous schnozzes, the Sonata's designers opted for yet another round of plastic surgery. This one's a winner; it's vaguely Japanese, completely unobjectionable and utterly forgettable. The Sonata's front end is proof positive that it's easier to copy a copy (i.e. the Honda Accord) than it is to knock-off an original. The same principle holds true for the rest of the Sonata's sheet metal; it's a riff on the Ford 500's riff on the Audi A6. For people who can't afford the real deal, or even recognize it when they see it, the Sonata is a perfectly judged pastiche.

Details of The General's highly-touted secret accord with the United Auto Workers (UAW) have finally filtered out. Even a cursory glance at the fine print– which promises to get finer in the days to come– reveals that the "landmark" deal is not the company-saving "historic giveback" the mainstream media, UAW and company officials would have us believe. In truth, it's not even too little too late. It's nothing at all.

The UAW's new agreement with GM stipulates that 118k active union members forgo a $1 per hour pay increase scheduled for '06. That works out to about $2000 per worker, per year. So, by not paying its workers an extra buck an hour, GM saves $236m. Only "saves" isn't the right word. It's more like "redirects". The $236m that won't appear on GM workers' payslips will now go straight to… healthcare. In other words, GM "saves" the money by spending it on healthcare rather than wages, and its workers go right on enjoying the free and full benefits they've enjoyed since tires were ply.

If The Big Three are really serious about paring their production costs to the bone, it's time for them to take a good hard look at the basics. Some of the "standard" features on today's automobiles are either unnecessary or antiquated. While removing or re-engineering these items may sound like a trivial pursuit, American automakers simply can't to afford to ignore the potential savings. They should be ready, willing and able to click, drag, highlight and delete.

Greed is good, but gluttony is better. Greed means you have an insatiable desire for more. Gluttony means you're busy catering to your insatiability. Although many observers still consider the Porsche 911 a Gordon Gecko greedmobile, it's actually a glutton. For curves. No matter what kind of corner you throw at it– from a highway sweeper to a twisting country lane to a freshly laid race track– the C4 wants, needs, must have more. Reverse camber, broken surface, bad weather– it doesn't matter. As soon as it's exited one corner, the C4 is ready for the next. And the next. No question: the way this thing handles is a sin.

The C4 is the next-up next-gen 911: a wide-hipped iteration of the new Carrera's Coke-bottle-as-suppository design theme. As such, it's also a minimalist vision of the forthcoming be-winged and bi-gilled Turbo. Although the C4 offers Porsche-spotters a few cosmetic tweaks to the basic model's retro-modern mix, it is, at its core, another Armani-clad psycho-killer. Considering the C4's inherent potential for luring its pilot into legal entanglements, the stealth wealth aesthetic is probably a blessing in disguise.

To paraphrase Bullwinkle J Moose: "Hey Rocky, watch Ricky pull a rabbit out of his hat!" On the very day when Rabid Rick Wagoner revealed that GM had lost $1.6b during the third financial quarter, The General's CEO announced that he'd cut a deal with the United Auto Workers (UAW). The long-awaited, deeply-desired agreement allegedly reduces the automaker's health care costs. Its announcement had an invigorating effect on the press ("Can UAW deal spur turnaround?") and GM's stock price (up $2.11). What's more, it's quelled the chorus of anti-Rick rumblings. How he gets away with this shit is beyond me.

First of all, the accord's exact details are secret. As of this writing, no one outside of the GM – UAW executive loop knows how this "historic agreement" will lop a claimed $3 billion a year from the automaker's health care costs. The most likely instrument is an increase to UAW member's health care co-pays, premiums and deductibles. Which is why Rabid Rick and union boss Big Ron Gettelfinger are keeping shtum; the UAW rank and file must OK the cuts. Say what you will about Big Ron's leadership, but there's a good chance his membership will tell him to take his increased health care costs and put them where the sun doesn't shine.

God knows where Rabid Rick Wagoner got his reputation for being clever. Obviously, you don't get to be the CEO of the world's largest automaker by being stupid. The GM Empire is so vast that simply remembering who does what would vex Jeopardy maven Ken Jennings. But smart is not the same as clever; clever men make the right decisions at the right time. By that standard, Wagoner can't cut the mental mustard. He's consistently failed to grasp the proverbial nettle– from slicing UAW benefits and pensions (come what may) to axing the forest of deadwood cluttering GM's product portfolio. He's long on assurances, short on results and devoid of courage. And as of Monday, he's toast.

When GM's third quarter financial numbers are released, when stockholders learn that GM has failed to staunch the billion dollar arterial spray, that the Employee Discount For Everyone program was a textbook case of robbing Peter to pay Paul, that sales have declined more than 50%, that there is [still] no substantive deal with the UAW over health care costs or pensions, Wagoner will admit only that times are tough. Aside from some mention of gas prices, Rabid Rick's piercing glimpse into the obvious will not be accompanied by excuses. Instead, he will rely on his usual stock in trade: promises.

A preppy soccer mom wearing steel-toed boots and work gloves. That's the look copped by most wagon-based crossovers. And while grafting raised white letter tires and frightening quantities of ribbed cladding to the family transporter hardly qualifies today's genre-benders for MOMA's parking lot (let alone their exhibition hall), virtually every manufacturer in the segment uses the recipe. Unsurprisingly, all of Subaru's previous efforts became ensnared in the very clichéd design trap that they helped originate. Until now…

The athletic contours of Subaru's attractive Legacy are a welcome departure from the norm. Its tapering greenhouse, sloping backlight and interesting harp-shaped taillamps are inherently attractive. Fortunately, the team at Subaru charged with transforming the Legacy's basic form into an Outback didn't violate that trust. Yes, there's still lower cladding and a vestigial spear of door-ding armor, but both have been smoothly baked into the vehicle's form (available in body-color on certain hues). So even if the 2005 Outback it isn't a picture of modern maternal magnetism, it's still a second-look MILF. The design works particularly well up front, where eagle-eyed headlamps no longer appear malnourished (in comparison to the bumper's elephantine fogs). Handsome, broad-spoke alloys draped in 17" mud-and-snow rated Bridgestone Potenzas mark out their territory convincingly. A wisp of roof rack topside completes the picture.

Fellow enthusiasts and SUV salesmen fear not: gasoline will be cheap again within a year or two. The price will return to the $1.00 – $1.50 range, just like it was back in December of ‘02. How could this be? Start with this: if high gas prices were solely and inexorably linked to the price of oil, why are there still enough cheap plastic toys to keep your local Dollar Store in business? Why have disposable diapers, polyester pillows, Tupperware, hula hoops, toy dump trucks and other petroleum-based products not jumped to three times the price, too? Because they’re not subject to the same political and economic pressures affecting gasoline.

Fellow enthusiasts and SUV salesmen fear not: gasoline will be cheap again within a year or two. The price will return to the $1.00 – $1.50 range, just like it was back in December of '02. How could this be? Start with this: if high gas prices were solely and inexorably linked to the price of oil, why are there still enough cheap plastic toys to keep your local Dollar Store in business? Why have disposable diapers, polyester pillows, Tupperware, hula hoops, toy dump trucks and other petroleum-based products not jumped to three times the price, too? Because they're not subject to the same political and economic pressures affecting gasoline.

When voters elect the latest gladhander to their municipal and state governments, the chemical makeup of the gas down at their local pump is not usually high on their list of priorities. BUT if you're an agricultural activist who wants to sell corn to the government to produce Ethanol, or an environmentalist who believes you possess the magic formula for reducing baby-killing smog in western cities, well, that's a different story. These groups are extremely effective at lobbying government at the state and local level to create a 'boutique' gasoline formula to further their cause. As a result, Missouri gas isn't good enough to burn in California, whose gas cannot legally be sold in New York City or parts of Arizona.