The MetaCars Week In Review

Man Who Voluntarily Chose to Buy GMC Canyon Elected to U.S. Senate
Voters in Massachusetts have chosen a man who bought a GMC Canyon as their next representative to the U.S. Senate

According to reports, Senator-Elect Scott Brown voluntarily purchased the 5-cylinder truck, with either his own money or a bank loan. “As far as we know, there was no coercion involved in Brown’s purchase of the vehicle, the worst truck in America” said Sgt. Pete Malloy, of the Boston Police Department.

The GMC Canyon, based on an Isuzu design and featuring the world’s worst engine currently in production, has typically been the truck of choice of people who “You wouldn’t trust to buy your groceries, let alone vote on foreign policy,” remarked Evan Smith of the think tank and publisher Council on Foreign Relations.

Voters apparently didn’t mind Brown’s choice of Canyon, however. Amanda Eisler, 23, of Springfield told MetaCars, “I don’t see how his choice of car is important. Senator Brown is like real smart and has good judgment, just like my dad.” When asked, Eisler said her father is also an auto enthusiast. “He’s got a Suzuki Verona and a Chrysler Sebring sedan.”

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The MetaCars Week In Review
Tourists Flock to Detroit For GM’s Annual “We’re Importing the Holden Commodore” Festival

Detroit in January. Car fans may think of the North American International Auto Show, but there are thousands of tourists in town to attend festivities for GM’s annual announcement that it will be importing the Holden Commodore sport sedan from Australia.

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The MetaCars Week In Review
GM Hires 78 Year-Old Man To Debut New Youth-Oriented Buick Regal GS

General Motors has contracted with a 78-year old man to debut a new Buick model meant to reorient the brand away from 80 year old buyers.

Robert A. Lutz, a Korean war veteran, helped himself up to the stage to announce the new Buick. Shown beside him in classic Buick white, Lutz said it would “be the final nail in the coffin for the old Buick brand image.” The new Regal GS is equipped with new-era technology, such as power seats, locks, and windows, as well as a full-sized trunk.

Another General Motors spokesman, Harold Braudel, told media members: “This new Regal is a classic American sedan. It marries European engineering with European design, all brought together by European manufacture.

Mr. Lutz had already teamed up with General Motors for work in the past; the octogenarian charmingly brought his Cadillac sedan to a track contest some months ago.

“Our goal is to show how youthful Buick has become. We’re shattering perceptions, and also hips,” Braudel concluded.

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The MetaCars Week In Review

[Editor’s note: TTAC prides itself on covering the most compelling stories in the automotive world, connecting the biggest trends, and exploring the most momentous decisions. We endlessly pore over the ceaseless stream of automotive news and data, and bring the most significant and momentous stories to these pages for your enlightenment and debate. But sometimes we just plain need a break from all the seriousness. Luckily, former TTACer Justin Berkowitz has the perfect palate-cleanser after a long week of news and analysis. His site, Metacars.com, publishes some of the best auto humor on the web, and we’ve asked him to compile a weekly digest of the funniest car news that never happened over the previous seven days. Unlike AutoWeek, the MetaCars Week In Review will actually be published every week, and unlike Jalopnik it will actually be funny. We hope you enjoy it.]

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  • Justin You guys still looking for that sportbak? I just saw one on the Facebook marketplace in Arizona
  • 28-Cars-Later I cannot remember what happens now, but there are whiteblocks in this period which develop a "tick" like sound which indicates they are toast (maybe head gasket?). Ten or so years ago I looked at an '03 or '04 S60 (I forget why) and I brought my Volvo indy along to tell me if it was worth my time - it ticked and that's when I learned this. This XC90 is probably worth about $300 as it sits, not kidding, and it will cost you conservatively $2500 for an engine swap (all the ones I see on car-part.com have north of 130K miles starting at $1,100 and that's not including freight to a shop, shop labor, other internals to do such as timing belt while engine out etc).
  • AZFelix Let's forego all of this dilly-dallying with autonomous cars and cut right to the chase and the only real solution.
  • Zelgadis Elantra NLine in Lava Orange. I will never buy a dirty dishwater car again. I need color in my life.
  • Slavuta CX5 hands down. Only trunk space, where RAV4 is better.