QOTD: Best-looking Awful Car?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

“Awful” can mean a lot of things, some of them pretty benign. A car can simply a boring appliance, and to some, this makes said car awful. Others might disagree.

Other vehicles might boast many positive attributes, only to have reliability issues render them awful in the minds of many. Yet an awful car can still be a thing of beauty, in the purely physical sense. Name one.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve made a point of looking, in vain, for that goddamn comet in the evening sky, getting eaten alive by mosquitoes from my viewing point along a well-treed shoreline of a nearby river. I’m convinced it’s a hoax.

The only real comet to ever exist was built by Ford Motor Company’s Mercury division. Prove me wrong.

But it’s entirely possible that, during those moments of fruitless sky scanning, my eyes flitted across a gleaming point of light. A very important star, if there ever was one: Vega.

The Chevrolet Vega was a disaster that sullied General Motors’ reputation in an era of decline, hastening the growth of a stigma that only swelled in size during the ’80s diesel fiasco. We all know the car’s shady history. Designed by committee at the highest levels of the GM totem, then hastily foisted on the Chevrolet division. There were innovations, careful considerations to packaging and shipping and cost.

Alas, GM delivered an oil-gulping turd that turned brown faster than a sliced apple on a hot day. But boy, was that an attractive car.

With a front mimicking a second-generation Camaro, a sporty, sloping roofline, and a tidy, almost Italian rear, the Vega had all the right proportions. Its little steel wheels were fetching, like that of a circa 1980 Corolla. Combine that car’s looks and handling dynamics with reliability, and you’d have had a real winner. Too bad that by the time GM fixed the model’s grievous engine wear, overheating, and corrosion issues, customers were treating it like a coughing stranger in an elevator.

Luckily for GM, Ford was already earning itself a black eye at this point with its sometimes-explosive Pinto, while Chrysler Corp was doing its part for domestic car stigma with the new Aspen and Volare. Sad!

My choice of Vega for best-looking shitty car might run in opposition to your choice. There’s a lot of automakers out there, and many foisted vehicle son the buying public that prioritized style over function and durability. Name some names.

[Images: Fiat Chrysler Automobiles, General Motors]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • SCE to AUX SCE to AUX on Aug 01, 2020

    Shocking comment from me: For some, it's a Tesla Model S, X, or 3. Despite widespread praise and adoration - and objectively good looks - all of them have had their share of ownership horror stories.

  • Geo Geo on Aug 02, 2020

    Some early Korean vehicles looked great but were awful to own and drive. This would include the Hyundai Excel, Stellar and Pony. This tradition held into last decade with the Aveo and Suzuki Verona; both nice-looking but crappy. I believe reputable European designers were involved with most of these examples.

  • Lorenzo I just noticed the 1954 Ford Customline V8 has the same exterior dimensions, but better legroom, shoulder room, hip room, a V8 engine, and a trunk lid. It sold, with Fordomatic, for $21,500, inflation adjusted.
  • Lorenzo They won't be sold just in Beverly Hills - there's a Nieman-Marcus in nearly every big city. When they're finally junked, the transfer case will be first to be salvaged, since it'll be unused.
  • Ltcmgm78 Just what we need to do: add more EVs that require a charging station! We own a Volt. We charge at home. We bought the Volt off-lease. We're retired and can do all our daily errands without burning any gasoline. For us this works, but we no longer have a work commute.
  • Michael S6 Given the choice between the Hornet R/T and the Alfa, I'd pick an Uber.
  • Michael S6 Nissan seems to be doing well at the low end of the market with their small cars and cuv. Competitiveness evaporates as you move up to larger size cars and suvs.
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