QOTD: I Am Become Death, Destroyer of Cars?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems
qotd i am become death destroyer of cars

We’re going to get quite selfish and authoritarian today, because we all harbor those feelings and it’s good to let them out from time to time. Safely.

You’re not a CEO in this hypothetical circumstance. You’re not an auto executive or designer or fabulously wealthy buyer with a garage capable of housing the USS Iwo Jima, either. No, you’re the same person you were when you laid your head down last night. Just more powerful. Omnipotent. You carry the world in your hands, and we all cower at your feet.

And you have a job to do.

That job is to kill off an automaker simply because its existence annoys the living shit out of you. That’s all. Yes, it’s an entirely selfish and morally reprehensible exercise, but you’ve been handed the power to snap your fingers and never be annoyed by hearing about a certain company’s products (or troubles, or fans) ever again, and you’d best not waste your chance.

Imagine getting the opportunity to rid the world of Billy Joel’s music. Well, this is the automotive equivalent.

It’s possible the answers to this question could prove quite illuminating, as it blends the psychological with the physical. With some automakers, the products are something you’ve decided will never interest you, but you can’t bring yourself to feel particularly vengeful against the company itself. It tries its best, some people like them, and so be it. It’s quite a different story when you combine those products, which you are definitely not planning on taking home this year (or indeed in your lifetime), and combine it with an annoying periphery. Fandom, drama, obnoxious marketing, activism — the list goes on and on.

You probably know what company I’m thinking of.

But hey, maybe you’ve got another one in mind. Let’s hear it, as well as the reasoning for it. Hopefully not everyone lands on the same page.

[Image: Century 21]

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  • Zerocred So many great drives:Dalton Hwy from Fairbanks to the Arctic Circle.Alaska Marine Highway from Bellingham WA to Skagway AK. it was a multi-day ferry ride so I didn’t actually drive it, but I did take my truck.Icefields Parkway from Jasper AB to Lake Louise AB, CA.I-70 and Hwy 50 from Denver to Sacramento.Hwy 395 on the east side of the Sierras.
  • Aidian Holder I'm not interested in buying anything from a company that deliberately targets all their production in crappy union-busting states. Ford decided to build their EV manufaturing in Tennessee. The company built it there because of an anti-union legal environment. I won't buy another Ford because of that. I've owned four Fords to date -- three of them pickups. I'm shopping for a new one. It won't be a Ford Lightning. If you care about your fellow workers, you won't buy one either.
  • Denis Jeep have other cars?!?
  • Darren Mertz In 2000, after reading the glowing reviews from c/d in 1998, I decided that was the car for me (yep, it took me 2 years to make up my mind). I found a 1999 with 24k on the clock at a local Volvo dealership. I think the salesman was more impressed with it than I was. It was everything I had hoped for. Comfortable, stylish, roomy, refined, efficient, flexible, ... I can't think of more superlatives right now but there are likely more. I had that car until just last year at this time. A red light runner t-boned me and my partner who was in the passenger seat. The cops estimate the other driver hit us at about 50 mph - on a city street. My partner wasn't visibly injured (when the seat air bag went off it shoved him out of the way of the intruding car) but his hip was rather tweaked. My car, though, was gone. I cried like a baby when they towed it away. I ruminated for months trying to decide how to replace it. Luckily, we had my 1998 SAAB 9000 as a spare car to use. I decided early on that there would be no new car considered. I loathe touch screens. I'm also not a fan of climate control. Months went by. I decided to keep looking for another B5 Passat. As the author wrote, the B5.5 just looked 'over done'. October this past year I found my Cinderella slipper - an early 2001. Same silver color. Same black leather interior. Same 1.8T engine. Same 5 speed manual transmission. I was happier than a pig in sh!t. But a little sad also. I had replaced my baby. But life goes on. I drive it every day to work which takes me over some rather twisty freeway ramps. I love the light snarel as I charge up some steep hills on my way home. So, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Passat guy.
  • Paul Mezhir As awful as the styling was on these cars, they were beautifully assembled and extremely well finished for the day. The doors closed solidly, the ride was extremely quiet and the absence of squeaks and rattles was commendable. As for styling? Everything's beautiful in it's own way.....except for the VI coupe....it's proportions were just odd: the passenger compartment and wheelbase seemed to be way too short, especially compared to the VI sedan. Even the short-lived Town Coupe had much better proportions. None of the fox-body Lincolns could compare to the beautiful proportions of the Mark V.....it was the epitome of long, low, sleek and elegant. The proportions were just about perfect from every angle.