QOTD: One Green Steed to Do It All?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems
qotd one green steed to do it all

Picture it. A new world government, headquartered in Belgium, has been elected to oversee our affairs. There, our scientific betters assemble to map out a progressive yet benevolently authoritarian plan for all the planet’s people, causing H.G. Wells and other dead utopians to rise from the grave in orgasmic bliss.

In this hypothetical scenario, consumer choice is curtailed to ensure the citizenry makes the proper decisions. The planet’s air quality and climate is top of mind, as are the globe’s shrinking resources. A conservation plan is put into effect, wiping such indulgent automobiles as the Dodge Challenger R/T, 392, Hellcat, and other V8-powered machines. The GM 6.2-liter V8 is ceremoniously killed off. Schoolchildren are taught to snitch on any parent caught harboring a overly powerful motorcar, perhaps in a rural barn somewhere.

Suffice it to say, it’s heaven on earth. There’s no choice to see it any other way. But hold on — it’s new car buying time, and the state, er, the world, has mandated that as your daily driver, you must purchase a hybrid.

Sure, there’s new sources of transportation available in this new society — trolleybuses make a comeback, as do monorails — but the single vehicle permitted for citizens living outside urban zones (or those with work that takes them into the countryside) must be at least partially green. And, because this bizarro world takes place in the present day, your vehicular choices are already on the market.

One daily driver. That’s all you get, and there must be an electric motor working in tandem with a gasoline powerplant. To whittle down the choices, a plug-in is not allowed. Why? Because the powers that be in Brussels, or perhaps Antwerp, have a damn good reason, that’s why. So no PHEVs. But no mild hybrids, either, so no eTorque Ram. Besides that stipulation, however, the field is open — any size or bodystyle you can get your hands on.

What do you choose? Practicality (such as it is), likely demands a utility vehicle, and with pickups out of the running, a spacious three-row crossover seems the likely choice for many. A Toyota Highlander Hybrid, for example. It’s surely a hybrid, but one which still has a V6 on tap. Remove the rearmost rows and you’ve got a flat surface for hauling, and power to back it up.

But maybe performance is your way of fighting back against the state. In this scenario, the Acura NSX actually might see a few orders.

Practical (but imperfect), or impractical? Take your pick.

[Image: Acura]

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2 of 42 comments
  • Pwrwrench Pwrwrench on Aug 01, 2018

    You mean like, I can't have a V 8/10/12, make screeching burnouts, annoy the neighbors, and stink up the commons? That's like a total bummer dude!

  • THX1136 THX1136 on Aug 01, 2018

    For more enjoyment and greater efficiency, consumption is being standardized. -THX1138

  • Cprescott I remember when Fords were affordable.
  • Cprescott As a once very LOYAL FORD buyer, I had to replace my 22 year old Ford (bought new in 1997) once it finally started to have problems at 180k miles. I would have gladly purchased something like this from Ford but they abandoned me as a car buyer. Oddly, Hyundai still builds cars in a variety of flavors so I became a customer of theirs and am very happy. Likely will consider another once this one gets up in mileage.
  • SCE to AUX A friend once struck a mounted tire that was laying flat in the middle of her lane on the PA Turnpike. She was in a low late-90s Grand Prix, and the impact destroyed the facia, core support, radiators, oil pan, transmission, subframe, and suspension. They fixed it all.
  • Dukeisduke Lol, it's not exactly a Chevrolet SS with Holden badging.
  • Dukeisduke Years ago, I was driving southbound along North Central Expressway (south of Mockingbird Lane, for locals), and watched a tire and wheel fall out of the bed of a pickup (no tailgate), bounce along, then centerpunch the front end of a Honda Accord. It wasn't pretty.