By on June 27, 2018

Image: GMC Safari GTIn last week’s Crapwagon Garage QOTD, we combined truck and station wagon to create an SUV, picking five winners. In part VII of the series, we’ll combine truck and station wagon a bit differently and end up with a van.

That’s right, it’s time for some #vanlife (ugh). Car-based minivans also apply, so we’re not limited to things like the sweet Safari GT above.

This week, the Forgettable Favorite Award goes to:

Ajla (again) and JohnTaurus’ suggestion, the Isuzu VehiCROSS. Concept styling meets capable SUV in a vehicle which is already commanding more money than other similar vintage used vehicles. Special recognition goes to the rarer Ironman Edition versions with their different paint colors. Delightful, and you probably won’t lose money if you keep it a while.

On to the vans! Let’s review the rules:

  1. A crapwagon must be a vehicle which is relatively easy to find and purchase using an internet.
  2. All vehicles in the crapwagon garage must have been sold as new, in the North American market.
  3. Said vehicles must be obtainable to the casual crapwagon collector (CCC). This means in clean, running condition each one asks $7,000 or less on a normal day.
  4. Your suggestions must fit into the vehicle category of the week. If you don’t like the category, that’s tough. We’ll get to a category you like eventually.
  5. There are five rules to this garage game, and that’s the maximum number of vehicles you may submit for each section.

Mercury Villager Nautica, Image via Ford

And here’s my first selection; I’ve harped on it a few times here previously. It’s most fitting with my Nineties sensibilities, two-tone desires, and love of special editions. It’s the Mercury Villager Nautica, which was the fanciest Nissan Quest money could buy. Downsides include rust resistance, and a VG30 rather than VQ30 (it has a timing belt to change). They’re rare and worthless.

It was tough to pick just one more favorite to feature, but it has to be one of these. Another Nineties luxury wagon, Chrysler’s Town & Country. Lace alloys, gold scripts, and ruched leather abound in this fully-loaded van. Special love goes to the purple and gold combination shown here. They were also available in all-wheel drive, but that might be asking for too much these two decades later.

What are your van selections for the Crapwagon Garage?

[Images: GM, Isuzu, Ford, FCA]

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65 Comments on “QOTD: Can You Build an Ideal Crapwagon Garage? (Part VII: Vans)...”


  • avatar
    nels0300

    Supercharged Previa or turbo stick shift Caravan.

  • avatar
    notapreppie

    A reminder to everyone not to forget this hilarity when making their decisions…
    http://www.turbovan.net/van.html
    (gotta love those ancient web pages written using Notepad)

    • 0 avatar
      SPPPP

      I think I do love those ancient web pages written using Notepad. I notice they tend to work reliably, and don’t suck processor time or crash Chrome tabs as often as, oh, say, a WordPress blog/news site?

  • avatar
    dividebytube

    Astro Van – just to swap in a SBC/LS1 in there.

  • avatar
    geozinger

    Either generation GM dustbuster with the 3.8L V6, Pontiac Trans Sport preferred
    1989 Chrysler Town & Country (abbreviated sales year offering)
    SWB 1986-1989 Mopar turbo minivan
    1997-2007 Dodge Grand Caravan/Plymouth Grand Voyager with 3.3L or 3.8L V6
    2004 Oldsmobile “Final 500” Silhouette

    There are more, but I will stop here.

    • 0 avatar
      Advance_92

      The dustbusters were neigh-automotive with their performance and handling. At least compared to GM cars. These days I only see Astro/Safaris, though. A guy in my neighborhood that has an old SWB Ranger with side extensions for scrap scavenging also has an Astro for family activities.

    • 0 avatar
      geozinger

      Crap, I forgot one… The Pontiac Trans Sport Montana Thunder edition: https://www.newcartestdrive.com/reviews/2002-pontiac-montana/

      It’s the Aztek’s bigger brother…

  • avatar
    Adam Tonge

    1994 Ford Aerostar AWD Eddie Bauer Edition with the Extended Wheelbase

    • 0 avatar

      I think all those were ruined by 1997.

      • 0 avatar
        Adam Tonge

        Probably 1995. Although, I do see more Aerostars than Windstars/Freestars these days. That’s like saying I see more Contour SVTs than Mercury Cougars.

        • 0 avatar

          Ha love it Honestly have not seen a Aerostar Windstar of freestar in over a year up here in New England last aerostar I saw was more like 2-3 years ago. I still see Astro vans and first gen caravans on a regular basis.

          • 0 avatar
            Adam Tonge

            I see a lot of first gen Caravans and a few Astros. I go looking for Caravans though. Love me a quality made, honest, and pious first gen Plymouth Voyager.

      • 0 avatar
        JohnTaurus

        Corey, not outside the salt belt.

        • 0 avatar

          I was more thinking the AWD system was a wet-only one (like Tempo) and people ruined them that way on dry pavement.

          • 0 avatar
            PrincipalDan

            I should have taken a picture but I saw an extended length AWD Areostar in a parking lot in Needles California about two weeks ago. Appropriately sunburned paint to indicate desert life. It had CA plates and I couldn’t think of why you’d need the AWD there. (But then there’s lots of Subaru owners in TX so… what do I know?)

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus

            Nahh, it would kick in when it detected wheel spin, it was totally automatic, with no driver input required (or allowed), unlike Tempo which had a switch.

          • 0 avatar

            Well that’s good, it was more advanced than I thought. I remember how LONG the LWB ones looked compared to an equivalent Dodge model.

            Also, Honda would call that some Realtime 4WD (hint for Rare Ride later).

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus

            They actually had the same wheelbase, they just extended the body behind the 3rd row.

            Dad bought us a new 1990 XL extended length and we had it for about 7 years. Lots of room, very comfortable, was reliable and it saw many, many road trips.

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus

            @Dan, you’d be surprised at how many Subarus I see in my neck of the woods (Gulf Coast, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida). They used to be confined to the major highways with out of state plates, but local ones are becoming somewhat common.

            A 4×4 truck or SUV (not CUV) makes some sense outside the snow belt for mud, sand, etc, but an AWD car seems kinda pointless. Even in heavy rain, a decent sedan like my Taurus or a Grand Prix does just fine, so I don’t see how that could be the reason.

          • 0 avatar
            mikeg216

            Nope it’s directly out of the Ranger.. The chassis on which the Aerostar sat

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus

            @Mike,

            I don’t mean to be rude, but it is not directly out of the Ranger. Its a fully-automated system, more equivalent to today’s AWD systems found in CUVs. It was developed by Dana exclusively for Aerostar.

            Also, Aerostar is more than just a Ranger frame with a van body. Its what some call a hybrid BOF/unibody, the body is welded directly to the frame, not bolted on as with pickup trucks. Also, it borrowed Crown Victoria’s rear coil spring suspension instead of Ranger’s leaf springs. This gave it a better ride quality at the expense of some payload capacity (which was still fairly high, especially when compared to the FWD Chrysler minivans).

  • avatar
    redapple

    I hated the Vehicross when it was out.
    Now I kinda like it.

  • avatar
    Feds

    First gen MPV. Easy way is a 98 allsport. Maximum collector cred for a 89-91 3 door w/ 5 speed and low range xfer case.

  • avatar
    ajla

    1995 Olds Silhouette 3.8L
    1997 Toyota Previa S/C
    *1979* Plymouth Voyager
    1994 GMC conversion van with a Sega Genesis
    2007 Nissan Quest

  • avatar
    Arthur Dailey

    As a long time van owner/driver, my tastes here are rather pedestrian and mainstream.

    1) Chevrolet Astro Van/Pontiac Safari: Preferably the AWD version. Contractors continue to love these vans and I still see a few on on the road everyday.
    2) Chevrolet Lumina APV. Loved the modular seating. And a 3800 please.
    3) Dodge Grand Caravan ES (2nd generation). Perhaps the most expensive vehicle Chrysler made in that era. Available only in white or teal with matching molding etc. A nice, plush family ride for that era.
    4) Chevrolet Van (Vandura). 3rd generation. Built in Scarborough. A stripped model for ‘working/truck duties’.
    5) Chevrolet Van (Vandura) 3rd generation. With a ‘custom conversion’. For road trips.

  • avatar
    phila_DLJ

    Nissan Axxess!

    bit.ly/2lEwYY5

  • avatar
    Sub-600

    Pontiac Montana would be a tough choice because, like the elder Native American in the tv spot says, “Maybe it’s not a minivan”.

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    Astro AWD or Safari AWD with the nicest interior you could purchase from the factory.

    Dustbuster Silhouette with 3.8 V6 (the only Dustbuster engine that was worth a damn.)

    Chrysler minivan from the TURBO days. Cause it’s such a silly stopgap “Momma Mopar is off her meds again” sort of solution to the problem of not having a suitable V6.

    • 0 avatar

      The nicest Safari AWD I ever did see was a customer transport vehicle for Thompson-McConnell Cadillac. Black on black, with gold pinstriping and small Cadillac crests in gold at the corners.

      It seemed like it was still in use just about four years ago.

      • 0 avatar

        The director of a company I worked for circa 2004 had a Maroon and Tan (kind of gold) AWD safari. Loaded with all options even a tow package. Honestly it was an awesome thing. It was his truck and winter driver his summer daily was a 928.

  • avatar
    JohnTaurus

    Uhhgg, had all this typed and suddenly got an error message and it was gone. Oh well.

    1) 1994 Ford Aerostar XL Sport, 5 speed manual (3.0L), regular length.

    2) 1997 Ford Aerostar XLT E4WD (inc. 4.0L) extended length. 1997 was a bit of a mixed bag. The seats were downgraded, but the transmission sprouts an extra gear, and the cruise dumps vacuum control for electronic, so it will actually cause a downshift to maintain speed on hills (something older models wouldn’t do, which was annoying).

    3) 2002 Mercury Villager Sport or Estate

    4) 1998 Honda Oddyssy (last year of the original style with swing out doors, but got a tachometer for this year).

    5) 1st gen U.S.-spec Ford Transit Connect with manual trans conversion using parts from a Focus. Gas saver of the bunch if hauling cargo, the Honda takes its place if passengers are part of the trip.

    • 0 avatar
      deanst

      My father-in-law had an Aerostar -literally had 5 transmission replacements under warranty. I can understand one replacement, maybe 2 in rare situations, but beyond that you should think of going into another business.

      • 0 avatar
        JohnTaurus

        Imma go ahead and call BS on that. I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, but I had a friend who bought a 1987 Aerostar which $#¡t its trans twice in less than the first 10k miles. (He relayed this story to me later, as I was a little boy at The time but this was much later after I became an adult and we were co-workers.)

        The dealer evidently called the regional manager and then reached out to my friend and asked would he like to come down and pick out a new one. He did, got an ’88 XLT (vs the XL he had), and Ford took his old van back, saying it would be crushed (whether it was or not, who is to say). He didn’t have to get a lawyer involved or even mention the words “lemon law”, they just took care of him without question.

        Perhaps your FIL had a $#¡ГГ¥ dealer as well as a $#¡ГГ¥ van, but by the time the third trans went, I’d be down there raising hell, or I’d be checking into lemon laws. Another thing that strikes me as possible is that perhaps the technician was screwing something up on the install with each trans replacement.

  • avatar

    Turbo van. I have never driven a turbo but I have driven a manual plymouth voyager, it’s fun in a ridiculous kind of way.

    Chevy express with 8.1L Towing baby

    Loaded AWD 4.3 Safari or Astro

    Super short wheelbase ram van early 90’s era. ( I have not idea why i want one but I do)

    Previa because really I love weird cars.

  • avatar
    tonyola

    1987 Nissan Van – Though most of these all-but-forgotten vans have either burned up or were bought back by Nissan as part of a class action suit, there are a few survivors roaming about.
    https://i2.wp.com/www.curbsideclassic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/CC-15-038-800.jpg

    1992 Dodge C/V van – No-one bothered saving these commercial versions of the Caravan. Notice the unusual grille. Even finding a picture online wasn’t easy.
    http://www.curbsideclassic.com/wp-content/comment-image/394840.jpg

  • avatar
    mjg82

    1992 Pontiac Transport GT- another model that had the 3800 would suffice but it’s gotta be full dustbuster nose and white with the cladding

    Late model Ford Aerostar, SWB with the bright blue up top, light silver on the bottom. I think it was a sport package. Swapped in tri-colour tail lights from an older model though

    Toyota Previa- doesn’t have to be supercharged but that’d be cool. Ideally in yellow

    2000 Dodge Caravan, again SWB but with the sport package that put the smooth nose bumper and the spoiler round back. White please

    I’m gonna stick to 4 and pout that we never got the early 2000’s Nissan Elgrand in NA and therefore is ineligible for suggesting. I’m in Canada and they’re showing up in this country, the want is strong.

    • 0 avatar
      JohnTaurus

      1997 was the only year for all red tail lamps on Aerostar, I’ve actually swapped them into my older ones, but kept the separate turn signals (they just lit up red). I had to drill the hole for them.

      Yes, the color scheme you described was indeed the Sport, which also got a body kit of sorts, consisting of a front air dam and molded running boards with “A E R O S T A R” script embedded in them.

      • 0 avatar
        mjg82

        The all red tail lamp looks sportier but I’ll always take a tri-color when it’s available. Didn’t realize it was only one model year so I’ll source out a ’96 for the garage.

        • 0 avatar
          JohnTaurus

          Yeah, 1997 was the last year and Ford decided to give it some uniqueness, including those tail lamps, an upgrade to a 5 speed automatic on some models, electronic cruise instead of vacuum, and they were all XLTs. Unfortunately, they downgraded the seats, gone was the better looking (and longer lasting) cloth with red piping (on grey interior) the XLT had previously.

          They had planned to discontinue it after the 1994 model year, but like when they planned to replace Mustang with the FWD poser that became the Probe, The Glass House was flooded with letters demanding the Aerostar remain in production. It continued to sell pretty well, but there were new safety/impact standards that would’ve required a major redesign, so it was finally laid to rest after 1997.

          I remember when my parents were buying their 1997 Mercury Sable from a Ford dealer, they had stocked up on Aerostars. The sales manager said they’d have no problem selling every one. In fact, my parents did consider buying one, but since their youngest child (me) as already in high school and the other two left home already, there wasn’t much need for it.

  • avatar
    pwrwrench

    Pontiac Aztek. If it was good enough for Walter White…

  • avatar
    Russycle

    1. GMC Safari for doing real van work.
    2. Villager Nautica with the digital dash for high zoot nights on the town.
    3. Late 80s Toyota Van, with a 5-speed. Probably the most tossable van ever sold on these shores. Sure, it’s a death trap, but that’s the price of fun. And who doesn’t want to whistle while they work?

  • avatar
    syncro87

    I thought about picking up a crapwagon van as a third car / beater. Something to haul a tiny pop up camper, run to Home Depot, etc, i.e. utilitarian and low cost to own. I had $6k cash laying around that was allocated to this venture.

    The late 80’s Toyota vans are long gone in my neck of the woods. Villagers, I seem to be about 5 years too late to find a decent one that isn’t totally worn out. Same with Astro / Safari. The ones I come across are ragged out and beaten into the ground. Really hard to find an Astro in good shape these days. People with good ones won’t let them go, and the rest are all thrashed.

    Older Odyssey and Caravan were ruled out for reliability reasons. I thought a previous-gen Transit Connect might be an idea, but they are pricey in my area and plenty of horror stories online about transmission issues scared me off.

    My budget was admittedly meager, $6k range, which doesn’t buy a whole lot these days. I just didn’t want to sink $10k into a seldom used third car.

    I ended up buying a second-gen Scion xB. Found a nice, decent miles, manual transmission example in nice shape for $6k locally. I wish it was bigger, but with a roof rack, I can do a small lumber run pretty easily, the flat roof makes it easy to haul a canoe, kayak, bikes, etc with some crossbars up there. The 2.4L will pull our tiny pop up camper (Coleman Colorado). MPG is consistently 26-28, which is nothing to brag about but is better than most older vans. Drivetrain is solid, and this one had the oil usage campaign done, so uses no oil. The A/C will freeze your cojones off. It is a bit silly looking, but who cares.

    I’d still rather have something more along the lines of the old Villager size-wise, but with a budget in the $6k range, I couldn’t find anything more useful than the Scion that was worth buying. Trucks were overpriced or rusty, and the vans beaten down. Ah, the joys of living in the Midwest where older vehicles are typically rusty and the selection sucks.

    There must be a lot of areas in the USA where the selection of crapwagons is a lot better than it is here in Kansas City. A lot of the suggestions I see floated in the various crapwagon garage articles aren’t even in boneyards around here any more.

    • 0 avatar
      Russycle

      My DD is gen2 xB. Good choice. Wish I had the 5-speed, the slushbox is getting a little sloppy. But it is a good little hauler.

      • 0 avatar
        syncro87

        I’m torn on the transmission. The clutch isn’t my favorite on the xB. Very abrupt engagement, to the point where even as an experienced stick driver, I always feel like a noob driving it. You have to either slip it excessively to launch smoothly, or you jerk when taking off like you just learned to drive a manual. I tried bleeding the clutch, and it didn’t seem to improve much. I think it is just how it is. About 60% of the time, I wish I had held out for an auto, and the other 40% I am glad I bought the stick, as I enjoy driving a manual car.

        Also, it is geared too short by about 15%. 80 mph is 4k rpm. Highway traffic around here is 70 mph+, and often 80 on interstates outside the city. It will do it all day long, but I feel like I’m thrashing it, and it just burns more gas. Seems like VW are the only people putting nice tall 5th and 6th gear ratios in their manual cars for the past decade or so. The Asian makes all gear their manual transmissions too short for US interstate duty.
        The Honda Fit is a particularly egregious example of this.

        All in all, though, a relatively minor flaw, given that it is all in my head and the relatively short gearing seems to have zero impact on the durability of the thing.

        One last thing, Russycle. I just replaced the struts and shocks on mine (98k miles) with new OEM units sourced from a Toyota dealer on eBay. Holy cow did it make a positive difference in the xB. Drives like a new car. I didn’t think the old suspension was that bad, and could have gone longer, but I figured 100k on the original bits was probably enough, so replaced the 4 parts on a whim. Man, was it worth it. If you have 6 figures on your odometer and intend on keeping your xB for a while, highly recommend some new OE dampers. Really takes some years off the car.

        • 0 avatar
          JohnTaurus

          Re: strut replacement. My Taurus had ~230k on its original struts/springs, well past the point in which they should’ve been replaced. Replacing them made a tremendous difference in ride and handling, not to mention it no longer looks like I have a bunch of dead hookers in my trunk.

          • 0 avatar
            syncro87

            Ha ha! Yeah, I’ve had several vehicles in the 150k or more mile range on what were likely the original struts. You tend to get used to it after a while and forget what they were probably like when they were newer. After replacing them and the mounts/bushings, it’s like WOW, this doesn’t drive like crap so much anymore.

            I’m dragging this off topic, but one more thing for Russ that I forgot, and my pain can perhaps mean less pain for him someday:

            There is a rubber spacer or bushing that goes on top of the coil spring on the xB that is integral with the accordion style boot that protects the strut piston. Many imports, the boot just fits on to the upper compression bumper, but not the xB, the boot is one part combined with a rubber upper spring seat that is different than the actual strut mount. You have to order a pair of these when you do the struts. Also, you absolutely have to order two of the tiny dust gaskets, little foam pieces that go between the strut mount bearing and the strut. The rubber boot / spring bushing space things are fairly pricey, but the gasket foam parts are cheap, relatively. You need both (2 ea) sets of parts to do the job. I neglected to order them both, which meant significant wait time after I found out I needed them and was half way through the job. Do yourself a favor and order the 4 parts ahead of time. The boots are officially called Insulator, Front Coil Spring, Upper by Toyota, and the little gaskets are called Seal, Dust, for Front Suspension Support.

            I wish I had known the above before I had the car apart and assumed the strut mounting system was like most of the other beaters I’ve owned in the past.

            Sorry for pulling the thread off the van topic.

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus

            Re: struts. Well, I bought the car with 181k, but I have driven younger versions and so I knew they were pretty worn, but it still surprised me what a difference it made.

            Re: off topic. I don’t think its a problem so long as we are talking about cars and not Trump v. Clinton v. Obama v. Bush or some other riot-inciting stuff like that. :)

        • 0 avatar
          Russycle

          Thanks for the tip on the struts, will consider it. My slushbox drives like your 5-speed: you have to baby it off the line, there’s a delay between hitting the gas and the tranny engaging. If you just press the pedal firmly the motor revs then slams into gear, fun times.

          Should probably have it looked at, but I’m enjoying not putting any money into this thing except fluids. Going strong over 120K.

          • 0 avatar
            syncro87

            An old time car business guy once told me that most car chemicals/additive fixes are snake oil, but there was one that he thought was solid, and it is called Trans-X High Mileage Auto Trans Treatment.

            I typically avoid such fixes in a can, but I had a VW 412 (yes, you read that right) that shifted hard, and I took a risk and gave it some Trans-X, and I’ll be darned if it didn’t improve things significantly.

            If your trans gets bad enough, just throwing it out there that it might be worth a shot.

            The good news is that on car-part dot com, used relatively low miles auto transmissions for the xB are all over the place for $400 or so. Seems pretty cheap.

  • avatar
    MoparRocker74

    –Most any 70s/80s era Dodge shorty or mid length with no side windows and done up full on Street Van style: California rake with staggered slots or cragars, bubble windows, huge sunroof, big loud sidepipes, CB radio, shag carpet, and a disco ball. Murals are cool: a western sunset, some kind of UFO theme, or a cyborg Viking babe in chrome bikini cutting the head off a sea serpent…lets get silly. OR, just some period correct airbrushed panels or wide stripes will do also.

    –A Chevy Astro GT with the half panel setup just like in the first pic. White will do, but a ’90s bright teal would be better. Gimme.

    –early Voyager/Caravan short wheelbase panel van (no side windows again) with a rowdy turbo and manual transmission, even if I have to Frankenstein it up that way.

    –’80s Toyota or Mitsubishi van with 4×4 and manual transmission. Goofy as hell but IDGAF.

    –Mazda MPV 4×4

  • avatar
    kinsha

    I had a couple of these odd vehicles listed here in the past – 1st up – 1994 short wheelbase 4.0 AWD Aerostar. That thing never would idle right! Still have hand scars from changing the plugs on that thing. Also had a hellofa time with the allwheeldrive scrubbing the front wheels when making turns. Glad it when it was gone. A much better experience was my 1995 Supercharged Previa alltrac! I loved that van! Had many good years with it. Great in the snow ❄️

  • avatar
    Matt Foley

    I’m goin’ with an Econoline E-150 with StarCraft conversion. It’s the best one to live in…down by the river!

  • avatar
    MRF 95 T-Bird

    1) Chevrolet Astro LT AWD

    2) Dodge Grand Caravan with the 3.3. The Mitsubishi 3.0 is a blue smoking time bomb.

    3)1994 Ford Aerostar AWD XLT or Eddie Bauer Edition 4.0 LWB.

    4) Pontiac Montana SE with or without Versatrak.

  • avatar
    mikeg216

    Eagle summit awd

    Isuzu oasis

  • avatar
    turf3

    1961-65 Corvair Greenbrier or Corvan.

    Indestructible, easy to repair, good space efficiency, brakes superior to many of today’s vehicles. You would not believe the stuff I have overloaded one of these with.

    • 0 avatar
      JohnTaurus

      The Rampside looked incredibly useful, and an excellent solution for loading cargo, given the rear engine design. Very neat vehicles, for sure.

      You could get an unrestored one (i suggest looking in Oregon or Washington, or the southwest like Arizona, etc) for $2k or so, and spend $5k getting it fixed up and ready for the road, so I do buy the $7k budget on this one.


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