NYIAS 2017: Nissan Rogue Fast & Furious Tie-In is a Dog's Breakfast

Someone needs to tell the product planners at Nissan to stop browsing Reddit. Someone also needs to tell them that most canines have remarkably poor credit ratings, because the newest Nissan Rogue Dogue concept — revealed Tuesday ahead of the 2017 New York International Auto Show — is very clearly for the dogs.

I envy the copywriter who wrote the press release, as they likely waited a lifetime to use the words “side wall mounted poop bag dispenser” in a professional capacity. Sigh.

The car coordinator for the Fast & Furious film franchise, Dennis McCarthy, is the builder of this unusually upfitted utility vehicle. While there are integrated dog harness clips in the cargo compartment, we don’t recommend street racing your Rogue Dogue with your pooch on board.

The fold-down dog food and water dispenser are rather novel, as they are of a non-spill design. I need these for my cats.

For smaller dogs, or for those less spry than the ones that try to maul my children, an integrated, fold-out ramp slides from beneath the removable dog bed.

What would typically be a ski pass-through now allows passage between the cargo space and the second row.

That second row is fitted with a removable dog hammock that secures to the headrests. There’s a serious lack of automotive hammocks for humans. Someone needs to get on this.

The diamond-quilted padded material that lines the cargo doggo area is meant to clean easily after a drive– and incidentally, recalls the diamond pattern that lined the transmission tunnel on the iconic Datsun 240Z.

Check out that poop bag dispenser!

An integrated dog washing wand is powered by a pressurized 10-gallon water tank. Drying is handled by a hose, fitted to a heated blower.

If your pup needs containment, a removable pet partition will divide the doggo area from the second row. Naturally, it’s laser cut with the hashtag.

Since you’ll want to share your fur baby’s experience with everyone, the Rogue Dogue has passive cameras in the side view mirrors that record your dog’s drive to the infotainment system’s hard drive. That way everyone can delight in your pup’s tongue hanging out of the window.

And, so you’re never confused about which Nissan to drive, the key comes with a dog-print keychain.

[Images: Nissan]