Mini, the British brand built atop the idea of British fashionability, has been incredibly style conscious ever since BMW brought it back from the depths of English oppression. Its iconic Cooper still wears a silhouette that harkens back to the original, but offers modern safety equipment and enough room for life-sized humans. You can order the Union Jack placed on virtually any body panel. And those center-mounted speedometers — as much as they put Flava Flav on notice — were a charming touch, if completely useless.
Yet, posh Britons are a fairly easy bunch to embarrass. For example, flatulence is met with mortified exclamations of “My word!” before said flatulator escapes to another room to make tea.
So, with that in mind, how the hell did the Clubman’s tow hitch make it past the censors?
Yup … there it is. Introducing the Clubman: the new compact from Mini that’s incredibly excited to tow your next load. Truck Nutz not included.
This image was pulled directly off the Mini press site. I’m sure from any other angle it looks just peachy. But, what is seen cannot be unseen.
[Image: Mini]
That’s what euro spec hitches look like. The Golf wagon has a similar one that retracts with a button push.
Jalop style clickbait.
WHY CAN’T WE JUST HAVE FUN
Sorry to harsh your mellow brother.
We can. This just isn’t fun.
(I mean, I’m not saying “zomg it’s horrible I’m never reading Mark’s posts again!”
It’s just … not particularly fun?)
It’s a trailer hitch. Most of us have progressed beyond having the wit of a child.
Unfortunately, too many Americans would think you were serious with that article, Mark.
It’s Friday guys. I say let’s have fun. I expect to read casual hook up comments, driver must have small hands comments, and driver must be compensating for something comments.
Aww. I’m sorry.
Yep. Just scroll through any on Antti’s Finnish Line posts, or any of Kamil’s “______ Cars Living and Dying in Poland” photofests, at Hooniverse, and you’ll see these. I thought it would be something different. Their hitches I would describe as “cute”.
Well, I, for one was shocked, and turned a crimson red. While trying to muffle my cry of anguish, I let loose with at least one ‘Egad!’. Um, how many inches long is it?
“A million-to-one shot, Doc! Million-to-one!”
Way to perpetuate a stereotype.
There’s probably a subreddit for people who have sex with cars where this should be posted.
That’s just what euro hitches look like… Here’s the same design on a Fiat http://www.fiatlancia.com/500mod119.jpg
Just looking at that makes me laugh.
Mark, if you want another good laugh, take a look at this story – especially the design drawing:
http://www.mercurynews.com/drive/ci_29905115/google-patent-protects-pedestrians-from-self-driving-cars
He’s just havin’ a nap.
The resemblance to one of nJoy’s products is striking.
I’m not familiar with nJoy’s line of trailer hitches.
And a +1 to you, sir!
Because the goofy-a$$ hitches they use in Europe all look like that.
“Yet, posh Britons are a fairly easy bunch to embarrass. For example, flatulence is met with mortified exclamations of “My word!” before said flatulator escapes to another room to make tea.”
Really? Fart jokes?
I found the aforementioned comparison to be downright hilarious. Now back to my warm lager, crumpets, and pudding!
Well, good luck trying to convince your mates that a Mini isn’t a girl’s car.
If the US had the same sorts of towing regulations and restrictions as European countries, we too could tow with cars.
But we don’t, so you’ll have to buy an F-350 for towing.
Why would we wanna be like them?? We have so much more space then them. With the Brit’s 750kg limit we couldn’t even get our boat to the river, that’s no fun on beautiful summer weekend. And you don’t need an F350 for that.
When I read the title of the article, I was expecting something along the lines of my experience with the BMW dealer back in the days that I had my E30 ’90 325iS. Attempting to get a receiver for it, and armed with the German part number, I ran into an incredibly indignant parts manager who was aghast that somebody would want to pull a trailer with The Ultimate Driving Machine.
Yes, German market BMW’s were capable of towing back then, while American market BMW’s were not. And the concept was not to be considered.
Instead, I get 13 year old sniggering.
Te he!
I guess for some it’s great to be a kid.
Looks too large to be on a “Mini”.
Mini Clubman does sound like the name of a porn star.
That thing is just begging for a pair of Truck Nuts.
I don’t think Truck Nuts have penetrated the European market yet.
“have penetrated”
heh :-)
Definitely needs truck nuts.
The British are a lot of things, but they are not sexual prudes. That’s us. Just watch their version of The Office and then our version.
Or, y’know, The Thick of It, a show that’s half politics and half creative (and extremely foul) language.
Is there a rust inhibiting cover, maybe by Trojan?
That’s the spirit!
Is the MINI no longer a chick car if it has this tow hitch?
Depends on the chick. I predict that none of us will be watching the inevitable videos starring this car and hitch on nameapornsitehere .com
I mean, we’re into cars not that crap. Right? Right.
Coming from someone on the toilet reading this was a waste of my time
Damn ;
.
I _must_ be old : I have one of these European trailer hitches on my old Mercedes and was pleased to find it , I hope the next @$$hole who bangs into my Mercedes impales his POC on it , I don’t ever plan on towing with it but who knows ? .
.
The odd thing is : I never related it to a phallic object yet I laughed when I saw where Mark was going with this article .
.
Some people here have the panties permanently jammed up ~ why not have a Juvenile laugh now and then ? .
.
-Nate
Lots of cars and trucks are driving around with a tow ball in the hitch when it’s been months or years since they last towed something. I wonder if it’s left there due to laziness, some sort of strange machismo or the desire to inflict extra damage on whoever might rear-end them some day.
Is it affected by the cold?
This, along with Dagmars, are the modern version of ancient fertility symbols.
Hmmm – Dagmars may be the answer to the Tesla Model 3’s blank face :-)
Is Mini going for the fat white chick demographic?
Maybe; fat white dudes would find that novel and scary.
Certainly will cause ankle/shin angst among the “unaware” crowd.
Bosal Hitch,
VW even puts a spot to store it in my tool kit.
To keep the theme, “Excuse me while I whip this out!”