Start Your Monday Off Right With Some of the Least Intelligent Driving Ever Witnessed

Last week, I asked the B&B if this Civic-ramming incident was malicious or merely idiotic. No such question could possibly be raised about what you’re about to see. This video has it all: the stereotypical “Florida Man” (or possibly “Georgia Man”) in full assault mode, some of the most hellaciously dangerous motorcycling you’ll ever see, and plenty of Michael-Bay-movie-in-real-life swerving into oncoming traffic.

The best part, however, is how a fellow behind the wheel of a motorcycle that is literally faster than a Ferrari 599 Fiorano can’t quite escape the murderous attentions of … a previous-generation Ford Fusion.

Somebody sign that guy up for NASCAR!

Even if you have no interest in watching cray-cray hillbilly road action, the motorcyclist’s actions are worthwhile from the perspective of how people react under stress. I strongly suspect that he’s still following the route he intended to follow to work or school or whatever despite the madman in the 3,800-pound car trying to kill him. Time and time again he has a safe escape route that he doesn’t take because it’s not on his predetermined path.

He’s also piloting a vehicle that could effortlessly shed a Ford Fusion, even one driven by a maniac, but he’s unable to effectively use that speed advantage to escape the situation. And when the Florida Man™ pulls up next to him, he decides that the best course to take is to have a screaming match that neither of them can understand.

What’s missing from the tape, of course, is whatever the rider did in the first place to make the driver so angry. I can tell you what I’d have done in the same situation: pulled over, drawn my Cold Steel Recon Tanto, and let the driver decide if he wants to scrap it out with an armored person holding a knife. I figure that if the guy had a gun, he’d have drawn it at some prior point in the chase. Best to walk into a convenience store or fast-food restaurant and deprive the guy of the chance to kill you with America’s deadliest weapon: the automobile.