Start Your Monday Off Right With Some of the Least Intelligent Driving Ever Witnessed

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth
start your monday off right with some of the least intelligent driving ever witnessed

Last week, I asked the B&B if this Civic-ramming incident was malicious or merely idiotic. No such question could possibly be raised about what you’re about to see. This video has it all: the stereotypical “Florida Man” (or possibly “Georgia Man”) in full assault mode, some of the most hellaciously dangerous motorcycling you’ll ever see, and plenty of Michael-Bay-movie-in-real-life swerving into oncoming traffic.

The best part, however, is how a fellow behind the wheel of a motorcycle that is literally faster than a Ferrari 599 Fiorano can’t quite escape the murderous attentions of … a previous-generation Ford Fusion.

Somebody sign that guy up for NASCAR!

Even if you have no interest in watching cray-cray hillbilly road action, the motorcyclist’s actions are worthwhile from the perspective of how people react under stress. I strongly suspect that he’s still following the route he intended to follow to work or school or whatever despite the madman in the 3,800-pound car trying to kill him. Time and time again he has a safe escape route that he doesn’t take because it’s not on his predetermined path.

He’s also piloting a vehicle that could effortlessly shed a Ford Fusion, even one driven by a maniac, but he’s unable to effectively use that speed advantage to escape the situation. And when the Florida Man™ pulls up next to him, he decides that the best course to take is to have a screaming match that neither of them can understand.

What’s missing from the tape, of course, is whatever the rider did in the first place to make the driver so angry. I can tell you what I’d have done in the same situation: pulled over, drawn my Cold Steel Recon Tanto, and let the driver decide if he wants to scrap it out with an armored person holding a knife. I figure that if the guy had a gun, he’d have drawn it at some prior point in the chase. Best to walk into a convenience store or fast-food restaurant and deprive the guy of the chance to kill you with America’s deadliest weapon: the automobile.

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3 of 146 comments
  • Azfelix From certain angles the bonnet appears oversized with respect to the rest of the car - like a skinny teenager wearing a bulky sweater nicked from her older sister's wardrobe.
  • Tassos This is way too god damned OLD, 21 years old to have all the necessary options you need TODAY. You need a 10 year old or less car. AND if you give us THIS POS, a 21 year old model, that is not even a LUXURY car, whoever pays $10k for a Golf, And I Do NOT care what anniversary it is (they are all UTTERLY INSIGNIFICANT) deserves to get this MOST UNRELIABLE AND COSTLY TO REPAIR OF ALL LOUSY ECONOBOXES< EVEN THE DOMESTICS AND THE KOREANS.
  • Tassos As you say, Toyota confirmed this on TUESDAY. Today is WEDNESDAY. Why is everything on TTAC held back one or more days before you tell us the NEWS when it is NO MORE THE NEWS?
  • MRF 95 T-Bird You can find a decent and far more stylish Audi TT or an S4 of a similar vintage for under $10k.
  • RHD "In all situations, the grip of the tires (225/40R18 front, 225/35R18 rear) brings with it road noise."Are the rear tires actually smaller than the fronts??!! Adding just a bit of sidewall would take care of the bumps and rough ride. I'm not a fan of BMWs, personally, but this is a very enjoyable car. There are times when driving a convertible is pure bliss, and with a bit of power it's fun as well. (And certainly a better drive than a gussied-up, overpriced German taxicab!)