Doug Drives: An Ode to the Column Shifter

I was driving around the other day, and I got passed by a mid-2000s Mercedes M-Class. If your brain doesn’t immediately pull up an image of this particular M-Class, I’m not sure how to describe it to you. Just think of a dull SUV with a Mercedes badge on the front.

I remember when this particular M-Class came out, back in 2006, because it was panned for including a column shifter. A lot of automotive journalists — and, frankly, vehicle owners — laughed at the idea that a modern luxury brand would use a column shifter, the mark of the full-size pickup in the 1980s.

“And now Mercedes is using one?” they would say. “Mercedes?! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”

Then the journalists laughed and laughed, while Mercedes was simultaneously developing autonomous cars that would one day render these journalists useless.

The truth is, I thought the column shifter was a bit of a weird idea at the time, too. It seemed like a really old-school design decision, and I didn’t really get why an upscale company like Mercedes-Benz would go for it. Can’t you think of anything better? I thought.

It’s been ten years since that column shifter M-Class came out, and Mercedes still uses the column shifter on a wide variety of their cars and SUVs. And do you know what? I’ve really come to appreciate it.

The most obvious reason why I like the column shifter is probably the same reason they decided to start using it: because it gives you more room in the middle of the seats. Sometimes, when I’m getting into a car, I don’t want to go into the back seat to put down a bag, or open the damn cargo area and arrive at my destination to find that my plums have been speared by the cargo tie-downs. All I want to do is open my door, climb into my car, and go. With a giant storage area in place of where the shifter once was, I can do that.

Putting the shifter behind the steering wheel also eliminates the need for a giant lever sticking out of the floor, which you will really only use two or three times during any drive. When I’m driving an automatic car, I think I adjust the stereo more than I use the shift lever. Why is it so big? Why aren’t the stereo buttons so big? Can you imagine that? If the volume lever for the stereo was the size of the shift lever? Now that would be cool.

And here’s another thing about the column shifter: who cares if it’s an old design? A lot of stuff that’s based on an old design still works pretty well, like bottled water. Since I was a kid, bottled water technology has been largely the same: you have a bottle, and there’s some water in it. It’s brilliant. Why does it need to change? Just because Gatorade came along with its cool orange cap and its grippy sides? HELL NO, BOTTLED WATER! YOU KEEP DOING YOU!

I think part of the reason people wanted to dislike the Mercedes column shifter is simply because it’s an old design. Rather than looking at the merits of the column shifter, a bunch of naysayers just decided they’d hate it because they had seen it before. It’s like when a new iPhone comes out and people respond to it with this flippant boredom, because it doesn’t have an electron microscope, when really we should all be pretty damn excited that we can now surf the web while we take a bath.

Fortunately, the complainers seem to be wrong: the general idea of the column shifter seems to be really on its way back. Although few other brands have returned to the column, everybody agrees it’s best to get the shifter out of the center console. Minivans now have it mounted on the center control stack, as if it’s the stereo “tune” button. Lincolns now have push-button transmissions, also mounted in the center control stack. Other car companies have that weird rotary dial (Jaguar and Land Rover) or, in the case of the Prius, a confusing little stick with a button for “Park.” The transmission lever is changing, and Mercedes-Benz now seems to have had the right idea all along.

And so, I say, who cares if it’s an old design? And who cares if it looks a little weird? The column shifter is actually a good idea, and I’m glad Mercedes brought it back. And if you own a mid-2000s M-Class, so are your plums.