Sir, Put Down The Burrito
It’s the kind of thing that could only happen in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Or maybe it’s the kind of thing that could happen anywhere but which is most likely to happen in the ABQ: a bus driver rams a line of cars because he’s distracted. One of the victims of the crash sues the city, claiming that the driver was OMG DISTRACTED BY HIS CELLPHONE THE MOST EVIL DEVICE OF ALL TIME, THE TOUCHING OF WHICH WHILE OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE ALWAYS LEADS TO FATALITIES.
Well, distracted driving was the cause of this crash. But the distraction had nothing to do with texting.
“Burrito to blame for 2014 bus crash” is the headline, and I recommend that you read the link because it’s a masterclass in how to accomplish a lot in just a few words. Hemingway’s baby-shoes line had nothing on this Mike Springer guy. I’m serious: he’s a better writer than 98% of the people I read on any given day.
My favorite lines:
“The city declined to comment on the lawsuit. Its drivers are not allowed to eat or drink while driving, and officials said the driver has undergone training again.”
Insofar as I’ve written about second chances for bus drivers before, I kind of approve of this decision by the city to retain this valuable resource and to retrain him how not to eat a burrito while driving a city bus. And my feelings on this have been vindicated by the last line of the article:
“He has not been involved in an accident since the burrito incident.”
More by Jack Baruth
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The unbelievably terse writing style of the original article is the best thing about all this.
the single tag on the news article is: burrito Im done here
My first collision was veering slightly while fiddling with the heat and hitting a mailbox. Anything and everything can be a distraction... I do think cell phones have a deeper mental involvement, but sometimes it only takes a split second.
" What can you hit in Nebraska in the 70's? Grass? " . Well , there's corn ~ hours and hours of it reach from horizon to horizon.... Nebraska can be nice if you're willing to get off the interstate . -Nate