Question Of The Day: Is There A Certain Type Of Vehicle That Always Leaves A Bad Taste In Your Mouth?

by Steven Lang

Published: July 17th, 2012

question of the day is there a certain type of vehicle that always leaves a bad

Clucky. The Freddie Krueger Of Modern Cuisine.

Last night I ate a little ‘Clucky’ chicken.

Normally I don’t touch the stuff. But I was hungry and seeing that the usual dinner food wasn’t filling me up, I decided to have one piece of fried chicken.

One thing I know now. If there is a hell, they serve nothing but fried chicken there.

While losing about 3% of my body mass and undergoing the deepest sleep since grad school, I had a disturbing dream.

SUV’s, full-sized, and loaded up with long lost cousins from Appalachia. I had to drive these people all over the place with an unending cacophony of sounds and smells assaulting me every minute.

What the hell was I doing driving all these people in and out of the ‘holler’? I had no clue. It was a nightmare after all that I’m sure someone, somewhere, has to live through. The best part of it was waking up, finding out that my dream was simply that, and once again getting better acquainted with a nearby porcelain prayer bench.

This brings me to the central part of today’s question. There are certain vehicles that I simply can not review with the straight face of appreciation. Full-sized SUV’s that are nothing more than overbuilt mini yellow buses hit that personal prejudice with a vengeance.

I’m a small car guy. Yes, I can appreciate the luxury and the grandeur that is a rolling chariot. But other than the descendants of Duggars, I can’t see 99+% of the buying public getting a good use out of them.

Plus, what the hell am I supposed to say when reviewing one? The seats on the Escalade are 15% softer than those on the QX56? The ride is equally ponderous? The design of the sheetmetal seems to be less of a by-product of a thyroid condition? I have no feel or need for these Leviathans… but I’m glad that someone else does. Let them have my nightmare!

How about you? Is there a type of vehicle that you simply would not be able to stand as your daily driver? Feel free to consider all market niches, existing and defunct. Plus, avoid eating Clucky if you can. His commercials may be nice. But he is one mean little bastard once he gets in you.

Steven Lang

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4 of 191 comments

Les on Jul 18, 2012

ANY 'Art & Science' Cadillac! They all look like they were styled with a Protractor! But I could forgive that.. what I couldn't forgive was the marketing. Granted the old 'Here's the keys to your new OldsmoBuiCadillac!' styling was pail and bucket, but when it came time to introduce the new Art & Science they didn't portray it as an improvement over the previous 'Badge-Engineering' era.. they made the comparison to the 1950's styling era, which produced some of the handsomest cars.. and Handsomest Cadillacs.. the world will ever see! It's like, watching those commercials the marketing people were trying to say, "See? Now we'll get to pull in tons and tons of new youthful and vibrant customers to our product!" But ended-up saying, "See? Now I'll get to tell the whole world I still haven't forgiven my dad for not letting me go to Woodstock."

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- Nrd515 on Jul 19, 2012
  
  The newer Caddies are the first, and only Cadillacs I've even slightly been interested in. The so called "classics" just left me thinking, "I like the styling of the ___________________ better(Just pick one of the other full sized GM cars of that era that looked better and cost a lot less)than the Sedan/coupe De whatever". That went for my dad's hopped up '69, too.
  
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JLGOLDEN on Jul 18, 2012

Driving anything Mitsubishi, especially one which shows a little wear-and-tear (like a 9-month old rental car) makes me feel like I need to wash my hands...and makes me feel like my credit score just tanked.

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- Mzdaspd304 on Jul 18, 2012
  
  "and makes me feel like my credit score just tanked." +1 I was told I should never drive a mitsu over 70mph because the paint would start peeling off like a banana. Worst. Factory. Paint. Jobs. Ever. They are plauged with that today just as bad as mazdas rust quick around wheel wells. (depending on applicable climate)
  
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