Hanging SAABs: How Cars Will Decide The Elections

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt
hanging saabs how cars will decide the elections

Are you proud driving a car that not everybody drives? Then better turn off the phone, install an aggressive spam filter, or, even better, leave the country until America elects a president in November. Or drive a Mitsubishi. If you don’t, you will be bombarded with calls and messages. Campaign managers call it microtargeting. You will call it a royal pain.

Drivers of hybrids, Saabs, Subarus, Volvos and Minis lean Democrat and vote. On the elephant side of the equation, drivers of Jaguars, Lincolns, Lexi, Mercs and Buicks vote often and Republican. Owners of Chevrolets, Fords and Dodges lean to the right, but probably won’t bother going to the polls. This is the result of microtargeting information compiled by campaign managers. They know what voters drive, drink, eat, where they shop, and what websites they visit. Voters are being profiled, and hit with targeted messages, says the Atlantic.

If you want to be off the targeting RADAR, drive a Mitsubishi. Mitsubishi drivers are said to have no pronounced political leanings, and they also nearly never vote. That should keep them unmolested. On the other side of the extreme: SAAB owners. They are said to be largely undecided, and they rarely miss a chance to vote. Who knows, disenfranchised SAAB owners could make or break the next president.

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  • Art Vandelay On the right spec truck, that is a screaming bargain for the price. And you can buy it safe knowing that as it is a Ford you'll never have your vehicle's good name sullied by seeing EBFlex and Tassos puffing each other's peters in one...a nice bonus to the horsepower!
  • Art Vandelay Too small for Tassos and EBFlex to puff each other's peters in.
  • Spookiness I can see revising requirements for newer vehicles, like 3 years, but not for older. I live in a state with safety inspections next to a state without, within a common metro-area commute "shed." Besides the fact that the non-inspection state has a lot of criminals to begin with, they're poorer, less educated, have a lot of paper-tag shady dealers, very lax law enforcement of any kind, and not much of a culture of car maintenance. It's all of their janky hoopties dead or burning on the side of the road every mile that farks up the commute for the rest of us. Having a car inspected just once a year is a minimal price of civilization, and at least is some basic defense against some of the brake-less, rusted-out heaps that show up on YouTubes "Just Rolled In."
  • Pippin Republicans Senators - "We refuse to support your nomination because you don't have a background in traffic safety! That's the priority!"Biden nominates someone with a background in traffic safetyRepublican Senators - "This new nominee is totally unacceptable! They're in favor of new regulations to improve traffic safety! We need big government out of (men's) lives!"
  • David S. 4.4L Twin turbo, thanks BMW!