AutoWeek Creates Meaningless "Best Truck" Award, Gives It To A Car

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth
autoweek creates meaningless best truck award gives it to a car

Dave Barry once wrote that “Corporations have meetings because they cannot physically masturbate.” One might also say that auto magazines give meaningless awards because they cannot actually get the automakers’ proverbial todgers down their proverbial throats. Giving an award accomplishes pretty much the same thing, plus it sends the right message: we are perfectly compliant cogs in your public relations machine, and we celebrate your entire catalog of automobiles. The public ignores the awards, everybody is happy, the party continues.

Time for AutoWeek to get its knees dirty, and it turns out they are no choosier than a heroin addict occupying a bathroom stall at the Troubadour.

According to the press release,

To be eligible for Autoweek’s Best of the Best honors, a vehicle had to be completely or substantially new – minor facelifts or mechanical updates didn’t count – and available to the general public. The Best of the Best process begins each January, with models unavailable at the end of the calendar year eligible for the following year’s contest.

Calling the award “Best Of The Best” implies something amusing: that all new automobiles released in a particular year are already The Best. The best one of those? Why, that’s Best Of The Best. Of course.

This meaningless award was handed out to two [s]PR departments[/s] automobiles: Audi A7 is The Best Car Of The Best Car, and the Range Rover Evoque is The Best Truck Of The Best Trucks. Only in fantasyland is a four-cylinder, transverse-engined, front-wheel-drive (in some markets) compact station wagon a truck. Welcome to fantasyland. Come on in, the free trips to Europe are fine.

Given world enough and time, TTAC would circulate the globe to find a consumer whose purchase decision was influenced by these awards, but honestly it would probably be easier, and more profitable, to find the lost city of Atlantis. If you do find yourself buying an Evoque or A7 as a consequence of the AutoWeek stamp of approval, please feel free to contact us so you can be [s]lampooned[/s] featured in a future article.

Join the conversation
2 of 47 comments
  • Parkwood60 Parkwood60 on Jan 07, 2012

    So if this is all such bull, why write a story about it for TTAC? Doesn't that just make you the guy watching while standing on the toilet in the next stall over? Car magazine awards are meaningless crap, and this one is even more meaningless than most, plus Autoweek obviously made a bad choice for this irrelevant award, and somehow this is newsworthy enough that you felt the need to write about it?

  • Outback_ute Outback_ute on Jan 07, 2012

    I agree, "omg its not a bof truck" has been beat to death in the last month over many awards. I wonder why the publications have classified the Evoque etc as a truck, I expect the EPA does but is there a more "official" arbiter than that?

  • MaintenanceCosts This truck could go plenty farther (assuming good basic maintenance) but the price:remaining life ratio still makes me gag a bit. The used truck market remains overheated and the price is probably market correct, but these are the sort of prices that would make me prefer to buy a new truck if I could afford it.
  • Jeff S I ignore the commercials. Never owned a Mazda but I would definitely look at one and seriously consider it. I would take a Honda, Toyota, or Mazda over any German vehicle at least they are long lasting, reliable, and don't cost an arm and a leg to maintain.
  • GregLocock The predictable hysteria and repetition of talking points in the meeja is quite funny. it does not divide Oxford into six zones. it restricts access at 6 locations , one on each road, to reduce congestion in the town centre. Florence, which faces the same issue, traffic and narrow historic streets, lined with historic buildings, simply closed the entire town centre off. Don't see anybody whining about that.
  • Jeff S I have rented from Hertz before and never encountered this but if I had I would sue them. Would not want a gun pointed at me and thrown in jail for renting a car.
  • Arthur Dailey I did use a service pre COVID to get the pricing that the dealers were alleged to have paid the manufacturer. It also provided 'quotes' from multiple dealers .