And the Winner Is…

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

Yes, it is possible to buy an ugly, theft-victim 1998 Mercedes-Benz S500 and sell enough parts off it to get the purchase price under 500 bucks. No, it is not possible to win a weekend-long endurance race at a twisty, technical track with a monstrous, bloated, ungodly complex luxury sedan… yet the Team Opulence—We Has It S500 has done just that. For the second time.

The S500’s quickest lap time of 1:56.708 was very good, but nowhere near the best time of the race (that honor goes to the Flying Spaghetti Monster Integra, with a time of 1:52.14). The Opulence—We Has It Benz won because the team had exactly zero black flags and didn’t break anything all weekend. The second-place car, the Pro-Crash-Duh-Nation Alfa Milano, finished just two laps down; their single pass-under-caution black flag might not have made the difference, but it certainly didn’t help. Congratulations, Team Opulence—We Has It!

Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • Kitt Kitt on Jun 20, 2011

    Surely it is a Petite Lap Giraffe! Can't get much more opulent than that.

  • Mechimike Mechimike on Jun 20, 2011

    So nice to have a screwball car take the win on laps. Who needs another boring same old car. Heck, I think you could do even stranger than this and take overall. Of course, the real Holy Grail of leMons, to take overall AND IoE, remains unachieved. Some say it may never be done...

    • Murilee Martin Murilee Martin on Jun 20, 2011

      Former IOE winners have contended for the lead a couple of times. I can think of three cars that have a shot at the IOE/overall combo. The REAL holy grail is getting IOE, overall, and Organizer's Choice.

  • Ronin Or can sedans be saved from themselves? Modern sedans have very low entry and seating, and unnecessarily downward sloping rear roofs. This may have been a sleek design center 25 years ago, but it's nice to have an alternative to SUVs for the olds (ie, anyone over 30).
  • Bd2 The Hyundai Sonota is the best sedan on the market right now.
  • Kcflyer hang in there Lexus. Keep making the IS with the V8 and sooner or later I will buy a new one :)
  • 1995 SC I'll take Mystichrome. And a different car
  • Wolfwagen I wish I could afford one of these except that stupid short master. Has no one learned from the Hummer H2 SUT?
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