Ford Protects Teens From Sex And Crime

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Don’t want your kids listen to Howard Stern, the Playboy Channel, Hip-Hop Nation or Raw Dog Comedy, at least while driving? No problem: Buy a Ford. It comes with a built-in Chinese Firewall that safeguards the harmonious upbringing of our children. At least while they drive.

Ford will create a system that allows parents to block 16 channels on Sirius Satellite Radio that carry raunchy programming, reports USA Today. “There’s a lot of mature-content programming out there, and it could be somewhat of a distraction for less-mature ears,” says Andy Sarkisian, Ford’s safety planning and strategy manager. Now there’s a fine example for mature technology that protects the children from sex and crime.

The anti-smut option will be added in late 2011 to Ford’s MyKey system. The MyKey system was introduced with the 2010 Ford Focus and “will quickly be offered on many other Ford, Lincoln and Mercury models,” as the Ford press release promised. It works this way: You give your kid a special key. The car reads it and then limits top speed and audio volume according to your settings, it provides earlier low-fuel warnings and can be programmed to sound chimes at 45, 55 and 65 miles per hour. If your kids don’t buckle-up, they get punished by a lack of audio from the speakers. Thought your kids have outgrown their nanny? Ford sells you an electronic one.

You hold the key for grown-ups. With that, you can go as fast as you want, while listening – at full blast – to all the smut Sirius will beam down from the satellite.

Now here comes the interesting part: We are talking teens. The demographic that jailbreaks a new iPhone before it has left the factory. When TTAC announced the MyKey system some ages ago, it was predicted that MyKey would get hacked in a heartbeat. However, when you google “Ford MyKey Hack” you find – not much. Why? No hacking necessary: Just grab Dad’s key and change the settings.

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href=""> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href=""> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Tankinbeans Tankinbeans on Dec 29, 2010

    I realize the speed I've chosen is probably inconsequential to the end answer, but it would irritate me to have a max speed of 55 mph. What happened to parents sitting in the car and guiding the new driver during their permit period so they learn good habits? This isn't necessarily a good thing, but I learned how to drive in a car without insurance and usually had my mother reading or sleeping beside me. Never had any issues.

  • Telegraph Road Telegraph Road on Dec 29, 2010

    Frankly I don't care if my teenage children listen to Howard Stern, Playboy, Hip-Hop Nation and Raw Dog Comedy on Sirius. But please spare me the pain of listening to them too while channel surfing.

    • See 3 previous
    • Telegraph Road Telegraph Road on Dec 30, 2010

      True NulloMundo.

  • Bd2 Probably too late to do anything about it for the launch, but Kia should plan on doing an extensive refresh of the front fascia (the earlier, the better) as the design looks really ungainly.
  • Namesakeone Since I include SUVs and minivans as trucks, I really cannot think of a brand that is truly truckless. MG maybe?
  • Sobhuza Trooper Subaru, they were almost there with the BRAT. --On a lighter note, where the hell is my Cooper Works Mini truck?
  • Mike Evs do suck, though. I mean, they really do.
  • Steve Biro I don’t care what brand but it needs to be a compact two-door with an ICE, traditional parallel hybrid or both. A manual transmission option would be nice but I don’t expect it - especially with a hybrid. Don’t show me an EV.