By on June 12, 2009

TTAC Spammer, goodluck.victorian, spams my inbox with:

Hello My name is miss Victoria. I saw your profile today on and became interested in you. 

I will also like to know more about you, and I want you to send a mail to my email address so that i can give you my picture for you to know whom l am. I believe we can move from here. Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters allot in life. 


Sajeev answers: 

Victoria, how wonderful it is to meet a woman who shares everyone’s interest in Piston Slap! 

I think we have a mutual understanding, an unspoken bond. Piston Slap is a passion that burns a fire deep within our souls, like faulty dashboard wiring. And like you said, love does matter “allot” in life.  Such love comes from an undying passion for your car. Or perhaps, love for more than one car? 

Or loving other people’s cars? It is not a sin if both parties are cool with it. 

When the passion burns like a nasty itch deep within your main bearings, you know that you’ve loved enough cars to truly be worthy of Piston Slap. I wish you the best in your future in automotive romance. 


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25 Comments on “Piston Slap: Spam-tastic Reader Mail...”

  • avatar


  • avatar
    Jeff Puthuff

    Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey

  • avatar

    Far out.

    Sajeev, we should do a post on what readers are spending a month/year on auto costs. I was looking at mine yesterday, I’m into things with tires for just over a grand a month in payments and insurance alone, with fuel coming in at 350-400 a month. Premium is $4.50 a gallon here now. (Saskatchewan, Canada.) I’m not gloating, I’m deleveraging.



  • avatar
    Ralph SS

    Thanks for the morning laugh, Sajeev. I think you might have had her till the “faulty dashboard wiring”. But, still, it is spring (leaf, not coil)… and she may want to wear a grass skirt and wobble on your dash.

  • avatar

    Somehow, I think that “faster, faster!” is going to be a phrase used in this PistonSlap relationship a lot… and that there’s going to be a lot of discussion about lubrication, and the proper oil to use…..

  • avatar

    Good Laugh… Thanks Sajeev

  • avatar

    LOL…well done!

    On another note…I wonder how Jeff Puthuff knew that Sajeev does indeed have his own limo!

  • avatar

    Now that you’ve dealt with Victoria, Mr Mehta, are you going to reply to the people who want to enlarge your tallywhacker and want to give you cheap long distance calls?


  • avatar
    William C Montgomery

    Yeah, so what does she look like?

  • avatar
    Jeff Puthuff

    Dr.V8, we’re FB friends and we both appreciate brown cars . . . BTW, has the Caddy limo broken down yet? ;)

  • avatar
    Jordan Tenenbaum

    I wish to hear more on the limos!

  • avatar

    I just read this on an adventure riding website and thought that it could somehow be used in a future reply to this young lady (sorry it’s a bit crass but it made me chuckle):

    I quote – “riding with the new shock was just like getting a new girl friend ,all fresh and so comfortable and responsive ,soaking up the bumps and a real joy to ride.”

  • avatar

    Perhaps she thought “piston slap” was a sexual euphemism? :P

  • avatar

    Does she love puppies, and long walks on quiet beaches?

  • avatar

    I can’t believe this got published…which is why I love TTAC.

  • avatar

    Lol….Piston slap indeed.

    She needs her oil changed, her tires rotated, her pistons slapped….ok let me stop.

    Good laugh Sajeev!

  • avatar

    Yeah, next she’ll send you a letter saying that she’s some princess in a refugee camp in Africa who just inherited $10,000,000 and would offer you multimillion dollar deal if you provide her with your name, social security number and banking account and could transfer money for her *ROFL*

  • avatar

    I’d go for it, Sajeev, it sounds legit, and with a name like Victoria (Crown?) you can’t go wrong.

  • avatar

    I’d like to give a Crown to a pretty girl named Victoria. I’ll start giggling and she’ll never know why…sweet!

  • avatar

    Not that long distance relationships with someone you don’t initially know can’t work.

    I was introduced to a rather pretty girl in Vietnam through a local referral and a photograph. After a few snail mail letters back and forth, I flew to Vietnam to meet her for the first time. From there I found out her conversational Cantonese and English was virtually nil.

    I could only stay for a few days, so I had about 72 hours to decide whether to marry someone I couldn’t speak with, and knew very little about. I didn’t know what her hobbies were, what she like or disliked, or whether she could even cook.

    But she was gorgeous.

    3 years, $15,000 (multiple airfare trips, marriage license, wedding expenses, immigration to Canada), and 1 kid later, we’re still happily married.

    Sometimes due diligence, with a big leap of faith works out. I’m still not going to give up my reliable Lexus for any European car though. That’s risky.

  • avatar

    Sounds like she needs a good “sack slapping”. Can you wait until she returns from shopping for antiques and visiting her sick aunt in West Africa?


  • avatar

    I like how she thanks you for your CONCERN.

  • avatar

    Perhaps she thought “piston slap” was a sexual euphemism? :P

    He did huh-WHAT in his lap?

    Every time I see the Piston Slap headline I can’t help but think of TowMater.

  • avatar

    WaftableTorque : “3 years, $15,000 (multiple airfare trips, marriage license, wedding expenses, immigration to Canada), and 1 kid later, we’re still happily married.

    Sometimes due diligence, with a big leap of faith works out. I’m still not going to give up my reliable Lexus for any European car though. That’s risky.”

    Thank YOU for the laugh (I’m glad it worked out for you!)

  • avatar

    I have a feeling the B&B is also good with relationship trouble. Which could come in handy!

    But I won’t go Dear Abby on everyone, this is all about the Piston Slap.

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