Just What the World Needs-Another COTY Award

Frank Williams
by Frank Williams

We’ve been quite vocal in our opinion of “Car of the Year” awards such as those sold handed out every year by Motor Trend. Even worse are those awards bestowed by non-automotive rags where a COTY announcement ranks right up there with their pronouncements of the years trendiest sunglasses or the best place for killer mojitos. Yet, for whatever reason, Esquire has decided the world needs yet another of these useless (to everyone but their advertising department) awards.

At least “the magazine for men” is up front about their selection criteria and admits “picking a car of the year is not a scientific business.” They have their “own set of priorities.” They explain a Car of the Year “should be able to stir the ol’ loins . . . it should also be attainable for most men . . . be sharp enough to impress a date and restrained enough to park next to your boss . . . [be] thrilling but not profligate, handsome but not faddish . . . [and] fulfill the mundane, practical needs of year-round transportation but also pack enough beans under the hood to give you a queasy feeling when you realize the guy in the Porsche is instigating a race.”

So their selection criteria are totally arbitrary yet are things to which a pistonhead can relate. Fair ’nuff. However, the one criterion that you’d think essential is missing: that you can actually buy one. Their “first ever” COTY? The 2010 Ford Taurus SHO. That’s right. They gave an award for the best car you can buy to a car that isn’t even for sale yet. The 2010 Taurus won’t be seen in the showrooms (SHOrooms?) until some time next month. But hey! Once it’s there, it’ll have a ready-made advertising campaign; a state of affairs that I suspect also applies to Esquire. Whatta deal!

[TTAC welcomes former Managing Editor Frank Williams back to the autoblogosphere.]

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  • Anonymous Anonymous on Jun 14, 2009
    I am sorry, but your Ford prejudice is getting the better of your rational thinking. Ford sales were down year over year, but they were significantly up over the past month. In addition, market share was up for the 7th month out of 8th. Their cash burn was a lot less than Toyota and clearly somewhat better than GM and Chrysler. It was also significantly down on last year and remains at a level that is totally sustainable. How is losing almost $2 BILLION dollars in one quarter sustainable? Mulally attended Congress in November to show support for the Auto industry as a whole (suppliers and dealers included). He did not, has not and will not take any government bail-out and for that he should be commended. Wow...you can tell the future? He DID accept money from the Swedish government for Volvo (see the TTAC article)...and he did SECURE $9 BILLION from our Government...he just hasn't made the call for it...yet. But the time is coming. Ford will either take money or be heavily considering taking money by the end of the year. I am still waiting to see your list of Mulally’s false statements. I have already listed them...numerous times...but here they are again: He SAID Ford would turn a profit in 2009. Oops. He SAID that Volvo was not going to be sold. Oops. He SAID that Ford's stake in Mazda was not for sale. Oops. The level of blindness people have towards Ford is uncanny. They foolishly believe that they are a healthy company. Saying Ford is the healthiest of the big three (which, now, they are not), is like saying you only have SARS, Bird Flu, and rabies. Ford is as healthy as a horse with a broken leg. They are quickly using uo the last of the money they borrowed and soon will find themselves in the bailout boat with GM and Chrysler. Nothing short of a miracle can save them. This economy is not going to recover any time soon...and as gas prices keep inching up, auto sales will drop. And let me tell you something. A silly, overpriced hybrid that Ford loses money on, a overpriced large sedan, a overpriced truck, and an overpriced, supersized Scion xB are not going to save them. And by the time the goofy looking Fiesta gets here (it really is Ford's Camaro), it too will be outclassed by just about everything on the market. They have overhyped it and it will be old and tired when people have a chance to buy it.
  • Matt51 Matt51 on Jun 15, 2009

    "And let me tell you something. A silly, overpriced hybrid that Ford loses money on, a overpriced large sedan, a overpriced truck, and an overpriced, supersized Scion xB are not going to save them." You speak the truth.

  • Kcflyer This is a joke right? Kevin James invented this in a movie years ago. As I recall queen latifa loved it. The movie was called "The Dilemma". It was even a dodge. Life imitates art indeed.
  • RHD This is the modern equivalent of the Horsey Horseless. (If you don't know what that was, look it up!)
  • Loser What’s next, simulation of the “Hemi tick”?
  • Ajla There's a melancholy to me about an EV with external speaker-generated "engine" noise and fake transmissions. It feels like an admission from the manufacturer that you're giving something up and they are trying to give back some facsimile of it. Like giving a cupcake scented candle to someone on a diet. If I was shopping for an EV I'd rather go to a company enthusiastic about it rather than apologetic.
  • EBFlex More proof of how much EVs suck. If you have to do this, that means you are trying to substitute what people want...and that's ICE.