Heated Seats Hazardous To Your Tender Parts

Frank Williams
by Frank Williams
heated seats hazardous to your tender parts

First it was hot tubs. Then jockey shorts. Now the latest threat to male fertility is heated seats. According to research published in New Scientist magazine (and reported by eGMCarTech.com ), heated car seats can toast one's testicles to the point that sperm production shuts down. While the ideal temperature for the little swimmers is 96 degrees Fahrenheit, test subjects found their family jewels were steamed to a toasty 99 degrees (don't ask me where they stuck the thermometer). Don't worry too much, though. Researchers do say for any real damage to take place, you'd have to be sitting on a heated seat "for a long time on a regular basis." Of course, if you habitually shoot blanks you should just have the balls to admit it instead of trying to blame it on your car…

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  • Power6 Power6 on Aug 29, 2008
    Our A4 has them and only the bottom of the seat is heated. We’ve never turned them on. Frank are you sure about that? My family had Audis going back to the early 80s and they all had heated seats that heated the back and the bottom. My guess is compared to a GM product you might not be aware of how subtle the back portion of the heat is. Or maybe Audi cheaped out when no one was looking and took the backside heater pad out. We had an Impala with heated seats and they were great. I have experience with GMs seat heaters as well. I had a Buick Regal with them. On high they were ludicrous. High would warm the seat to full ass-burn in about 10 secs. At least there was a "low" setting.

  • Jeff Puthuff Jeff Puthuff on Aug 29, 2008

    iNeon: If your laptop caused your prostatitis, you were using it wrong. Just sayin'. Back to topic, heated car seats can toast one's testicles to the point that sperm production shuts down. Permanently? I doubt it. I take showers hotter than 99* every day. I'm not interested in reading the article, but how close were the berries to the seat? Not every man is built the same...

  • NulloModo NulloModo on Aug 29, 2008

    I don't know about heated seats, as it maybe gets cold enough 1 or 2 days out of the year here to even think about using them (a single overnight dip to near freezing this past winter prompted panic amongst many that their landscaping would die). What I want to know is why cooled seats aren't as ubiquitous as the heated oned are. The airconditioned seats are standard on all Lincolns now (save the ancient towncar and epitome of badge engineering Mark LT) and it is a big selling point. Making cooled seats a feature in mid or even low priced vehicles would get a lot of peoples attention, not only in the sun belt, but anywhere where the summer heat can cause leather to become less than pleasant. And as stated above, while cloth does do a better job that leather in the extremes of heat and cold, a lot of people just prefer leather for the appearance, stain resistance, durability (if it is good leather), upscale factor, and non-temperature related general comfort.

  • Ppellico Ppellico on Aug 29, 2008

    Thanks Frank for the funny going out party! No more heated seats, except in countries with out of control birth rates. And get this...my wife just went out and purchased one of those ear thingies that makes you look like you’re in between film shots of a Star Treck movie. She explained she just heard that cell phones cause brain tumors! Well, I have one that was surgically attached to my hip a long time ago and I still seem OK...? As a side note today, I was renting a car for a business trip and there was a young man from some European nation asking us what was wrong with this country. He couldn't believe the motorcycle drivers were NOT wearing helmets. In Europe, you had to, and you should! Well, I reminded him that we had just finished discussing his recovery from a terrible motorcycle accident. I asked if he had been wearing his seatbelt. What?! A motorcycle isn't required to have seatbelts OR airbags!!!? What gives? I have to wear a seatbelt in a 35,000 car with crush zones and 8 airbags...and a motorcycle rider doesn't? I demand we get more laws out and fix this horrible societal wrong!!!! Safety first! We need to make life safe…at all cost! ...und you vil enjoy it! ( my attempt at german)