Gaywheels Does Detroit

Frank Williams
by Frank Williams

Leave it to Gaywheels to make the Detroit Auto Show sound so… well… gay. They've chosen their "Top Ten Moments" from the show, starting with the bull-on-bull action during the roll-out of the new Ram. That's where "the daddy bulls started mounting the boy bulls in a bovine version of '70s porn, complete with mustachioed cowboys." Moving right along… another fav was the Mercedes' GLK intro when Kim Cattrall "smiled coyly, touched Dieter's shoulder, and cooed about 'assertiveness, bulges in the right places… [and a] tight little package.'" They describe the CTS-V as having "a well-bulging hood that Kim Cattrall would love" and liken the BMW 1-series convertible to "any guy packing six-pack abs on South Beach, [who] sheds its top in 22 seconds. And like that same guy after a day of sun and proximity to half-naked men, the 1-Series is raring to go." And just in case the American Family Association isn't pissed-off enough at Ford, gaywheels says "if Ford could just stream the video from the F-150's optional backup cam down from Brokeback Mountain, they'd have a major new source of badly needed revenue." At this point, it's gotta be worth a try.

Frank Williams
Frank Williams

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