By on December 20, 2007
tesla-roadster-at-pacific.jpgIn Tesla Birth Watch 3, TTAC reported that Tesla pulled the proverbial wool over the drug-crazed eyes of the Woodward & Bernstein quality reporters at VH1, convincing them that the Roadster was real and on the road. Readers of Wired Magazine, however, are way too, uh, wired to be fooled by Tesla's press releases (which usually announce that announcements will be announced soon). Wired News has released its annual Vaporware Awards and – surprise – the Tesla roadster comes in ninth place. The eds introduce the losers thusly: "It's time again to inhale the fumes of failure." Reader nominations and hundreds of votes helped Wired sort out "the top 10 honorees for the 2007 Podium of Shame." And talk about shame: Tesla, the car company being run like a tech startup, can't even persuade the tech newsies that it's got its act together. Didn't the dot-com bubble burst in part because companies were making promises about tech they couldn't deliver? At least we've got internal combustion to fall back on. 
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10 Comments on “Tesla Birth Watch 13: Tesla Jumps the Shark?...”

  • avatar

    Saw that vaporware announcement this morning.. Perhaps Chevy and Tesla should get together and make a car with working batteries AND transmission. They could call it the reVolt.

  • avatar
    Virtual Insanity

    I was going to make a comment about driving this and playing Duke Nukem Forever again, but decided to read the article first. And go fig, DMF got first place, lol.

  • avatar

    But there’s a Duke Nukem trailer out! It’s going to happen! Just you wait! One night Duke Nukem is going to rise out of the pumpkin patch and deliver Tesla roadsters to all the good kids!

  • avatar

    Geeks are actually seeing the light? I can’t wait for the technology/car hybrid jokes.

    Your one speed transmission has encountered a problem and needs to close…

    You have chosen to start an unresponsive engine…

    An error occured whilst trying to operate your iPod…

    This vehicle has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. We apologize for the inconvenience.

  • avatar

    The Tesla Volt Bolt.

    Their problem is insisting on the speed. There are a number of highly relevant EV-platform configurations that are pure gravy train directions for a developer of new vehicles. Tesla isn’t it – matching extremely low weight, plus two passengers, plus the requisite battery pack – without sacrificing operational reliability is knee-capping them.

  • avatar

    but the tesla is real & on the road – well, the side of the road. on several occasions whilst attempting to get fit on my pushbike along canada road in san carlos/san mateo, i’ve seen the car on the shoulder; the pilot ringing home for a towtruck.

    i think i’d rather an elise …

  • avatar


    Tesla could do worse: the Prius computer shutdown bug that left the car stranded and requiring a flatbed, similar the car(s?) bloodnok saw.

  • avatar

    Nah, the Tesla can’t get much worse. Its just that the Prius could do better. (and I’m sure it did)

  • avatar

    I don’t buy this, its only the transmission, story. If that were truly the case, why wouldn’t they abandon the 2 speed transmission at this point? And why did they kick Eberhard out of the company entirely? I think there have to be serious problems at Tesla to justify the continuing delays and management shakeup.

  • avatar
    Sammy Hagar

    Damn it Tesla, get your act together. Jennifer and I are supposed to go up to the mountains this weekend…I’m supposed to score! Hopefully my dad didn’t loan our car to Biff again…

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