By on August 26, 2015

2015 Nissan Micra S (1 of 10)

On April 1, 2014, I met my girlfriend Jennifer for the first time. We sipped on our coffee and tea late into the night at a local coffee joint while sharing stories and generally just trying to figure each other out. But, after a while, my legs grew restless, my rear had gone numb on the provided polypropylene seat, and I was long done with my coffee.

“Want to go for a drive?” I asked.

“Sure,” she replied.

I have no problem telling people that Jennifer and I met on Jack’s pick-up app of choice, Tinder. Jenn and I chatted back and forth for a couple of days before finally meeting. Thankfully, being an automotive journalist, I was prepared. On this particular week in April, I was driving a near-as-makes-no-difference $100,000 Audi A7 with as many options as the public relations budget could bear.

As we walked out of the coffee shop — let’s call it Jim Dortons — I reached into my pocket, pulled out the keys and unlocked the Audi’s doors.

I went to the driver’s side, she to the passenger’s side, and we both slipped into the German executive liftback.

“Wow, this is nice,” she exclaimed with the mild surprise I’ve come to love.

We explored the snow-covered streets of the city I now call home. Now and then, I let the rear of the A7 slide ever so slightly so I could prove my driving chops to my future Miss.


Earlier this year, and more than a year after Jennifer and I met each other on that dark wintery night in a coffee shop, Nissan loaned me a Micra S — base model spec with nary an option. It is, by far, one of the most basic examples of personal transportation money can buy in a First World country.

The Miss and I tend to both enjoy a burger here and there, so we headed to a local fast food joint after both putting in 10+ hours of work for the day.

We sat, traded the day’s stories (Warning to TTAC writers: She knows everything about you), and enjoyed our grill-fired deliciousness on a balmy summer evening. Nothing could be better in this moment.

When it was time to go, we walked out of the fast food joint — let’s call it Gag & Spew — I reached into my pocket, and …

… I walked to the passenger side of the car to unlock the door.

This is the first time you’ve ever physically unlocked a door for Jenn, I said to myself as the epiphany hit me like a fully loaded Amtrak train.

Not only that, I followed the unlocking action by opening the door for her.

She stood there, looked at me for mere seconds — but those seconds felt like an eternity — with a face usually reserved for times when she sees a fluffy, fresh out of the wrapper puppy (eyes that say “Awwweeee!” without the mouth needing to do so), gave me a kiss and jumped in the car. I closed the door for her.

While we can have a massive conversation about gender equality or traditional gender roles, the fact remains: until this moment, I had never unlocked nor held a car door open for Jenn. Not once. Not ever. And it all comes down to power door locks and, well, me never thinking to do it.

The same logic can probably be applied to climate control systems. Not so long ago, if your significant other was getting a little warm over on the passenger side, she might have said, “I am getting a little warm.”

“No problem, I can take care of that, dear,” you’d reply, adjust the single-zone temperature control so both of you would be comfortable — or you might even take one for the team and bear being uncomfortable yourself so she’d be content — and she would likely be appreciative of your efforts, however small it may be.

Nowadays, your reply might be, “You have your own temperature control knob, dear. You can set it to whatever you want!” Feminists might call that empowerment. I call it a missed opportunity.

All these modern features — remote power locks, dual-zone automatic climate control, remote automatic starters (the end of “Don’t worry dear. I can go out and start the car for you.”), roadside assistance (the end of “Yes, dear, I can drive out and help you change that tire.”), and numerous others — are all aimed at making the car more convenient, but also fly in the face of car guys being a chivalrous sort. Even bench seats are limited to pickups these days, unless you want to pick up an Impala Classic through a friendly fleet manager.

While Jenn and I did end our coffee date all those months ago with a kiss, I wonder: If I had held the door open for her, would I have received that kiss before our drive? And would our drive have turned out to be a much different experience?

Maybe, maybe.

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99 Comments on “The Modern Automobile Is Killing Chivalry...”


  • avatar

    You are the second TTAC editor to have met his gf on Tinder in 2014. What a weird world.

    • 0 avatar

      Us auto journos don’t get out much … so Tinder it is!

      • 0 avatar

        I think it’s becoming the norm for a lot of people. I read a story about a track athlete and a military officer who got married after meeting on Tinder. They could have met people IRL but that’s how it worked out.

        • 0 avatar

          For me, it’s a combination of working from home and not having a ton of local friends. My in-person 2nd- and 3rd-degree connection pool of available women was pretty limited because the local 1st-degree connections were limited.

          But, honestly, I couldn’t be happier.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            That’s wonderful to hear.

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus_3.0_AX4N

            “For me, it’s a combination of working from home and not having a ton of local friends.”

            Try being gay in the Dirty South, living 20-30 miles from the nearest store larger than a gas station. Without internet-based dating, there would be no possible way for me to meet someone. Sure, there is a gay bar like 70 miles away, but I dont fit in at gay bars and thats a bit far to go on the off chance I’ll actually meet someone worth holding a conversation with.

            To make things worse, I only attended 6th and 7th grade here, so I never went to highschool with the people in this area. Its not easy living in a place where everyone knows everyone with the exception of yours truly.

            I concur with 28, its good to hear you found someone you enjoy spending time with, and I wish you both the best.

            Internet-based dating has lost a lot of the taboo once associated with it. I remember just a few years ago, I asked my friend how she met her boyfriend who lived about 60 miles away, and I asked if it was via the internet. She was very offended that I suggested they had met online. I had only assumed that could be the case since she never went to his area, and he really had no reason to be in her area. Turns out they had met where she worked at a resterant in her town as he was in the area on a camping trip with his friends (this was a remote-ish area up above Seattle, which is where he lived). “Do you think Im that pathetic? That the only way I could meet a man would be online?” Um, leave your self-doubt behind and try again.

    • 0 avatar
      Jezza819

      But for me just having turned 50 I think it’s all over with. if nothing has happened by now I don’t see it happening anytime soon.

  • avatar
    bball40dtw

    “Chivalry is dead, and women killed it”

    Dave Chappelle, 2000

    • 0 avatar
      28-Cars-Later

      Chappelle was ahead of his time.

      • 0 avatar
        bball40dtw

        The “Killing Them Softly” stand up from 2000 is still amazing.

        • 0 avatar
          28-Cars-Later

          Playing it now.

          “They didn’t say he was a pimp, but I know a pimp when I see one. They called him the Count.”

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            It’s as good as anyone has been doing stand up.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            Not Chappelle related but I kinda want an LS460 now, but I can’t justify the cost. The combined value of all three of my rides might be just over five figures and those things do low to high 30s clean on the block. Then theres the whole girlfriend/fiancee/engagement ring expense/wife/family thing that’s been creeping into my mind.

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            $hit be expensive.

            But hey, if I didn’t have a wife and kid I’d probably be working for Academi (Blackwater) and lost my soul long ago.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            That has the makings of an interesting story…

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            I would like to shoot at ISIS. So it wouldn’t be all bad.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            That’s like killing red shirts in Star Trek, fun but it doesn’t change anything. Aim for the Western intelligence apparatus orchestrating it.

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            Well, you don’t get to do that in Academi. Being in that position makes you, in many ways, part of the problem.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            Better to stay out of it then, although still nice fodder for a fictional story.

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            Have you read “For Whom The Bell Tolls” or “A Farewell to Arms”?

            They aren’t modern books, but I always find it strange how I can relate to them.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            I have not read those but I think I saw part of the movie to A Farewell to Arms.

          • 0 avatar
            05lgt

            @bball, no one needs to drag that many ghosts with them through thier days. The cost to your soul of surviving some things is pretty damn near death. Of course, I’m pontificating from the sidelines, so don’t lend my words much weight. Good call all the same.

        • 0 avatar
          05lgt

          Reading those, and the red badge of courage, and catch 22, and slaughter house 5… may have saved my soul.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            I read Slaughterhouse 5 but missed the other two. Mother Night is my favorite of Vonnegut’s works.

  • avatar
    tubacity

    Presuming ye Editor used a key to unlock the right front door. Micra must be one of those rare cars made lately with a key lock in the right front door. Hope some kind of mechanical key is always available for dead battery times and to bypass the shift lock when the brake shift interlock is busted. Yes, happened to me.

    • 0 avatar

      Yes, there’s no automatic locks on the Micra S.

      • 0 avatar
        Land Ark

        We have older Colorados in our fleet that don’t have power locks and only the driver’s door has a keyed lock. It has been a nuisance many times.

        • 0 avatar
          CJinSD

          We have the basest of base Tundra double cab with an 8-foot bed. It has power locks, but doesn’t have remote locking and doesn’t have a key slot in the passenger door. My boss bought it and immediately had all the cosmetics changed to make it look fancier; things like painting mirrors and bumpers, wheels from a Limited, and badges they leave off the work truck. I’m sure he spent more than the price difference of going with an SR-5, but then an SR-5 wouldn’t look showy enough for him. Personally, I’d have gone for all the conveniences of an SR-5 over caring what a truck looks like. He’s using it as his daily at the moment, so maybe parking it is a bigger headache than walking around to the driver’s door every time he wants to get something out of the passenger side.

    • 0 avatar
      JohnTaurus_3.0_AX4N

      My parent’s 1997 Sable GS didnt have remote entry, but it had a clever way for the driver to unlock all the doors at once while still outside the car: put the key in, turn it once, driver door unlocked. Turn it again and the other three doors also unlocked.

      I know the driver could just hit unlock after entering the car, but we have probably all been there (I know I have) when the driver forgot to hit unlock and you had to knock on the window to remind them to let you in. Using that feature allowed everyone to enter at once, with noone forgotten.

      I loved demonstrating that feature to customers buying used third gen Taurus/Sables back when I sold cars for a Lincoln-Mercury dealer. That, and the trick where holding the key to unlock in the door automaticly opened all four windows and the sunroof (if so equipped) on a Lincoln LS. I think some VWs do that, too. Its a great way to allow all the pent up heat to escape when entering the car on a hot, sunny day.

      I think if turned back the other way, it would close any open window and/or sunroof, which is handy if youve already exited the car but then realized a window or the sunroof was unintentionally left open (as opposed to having to get back in the car, turn the ignition on, and then close it yourself).

      • 0 avatar
        Land Ark

        I had a car that did that too, and I can’t remember which one anymore. It was either my ’90 Maxima or ’97 A6. To this day I still try it every once in a while on whatever car I am trying to get into using a key.

        • 0 avatar
          CoreyDL

          @Land Arks

          Audis had this key-all feature for a long time, from the 80’s to the early 90’s, they actually didn’t PUT lock/unlock buttons in their cars. You used the door toggle to do it, or your key if you were outside the car.

      • 0 avatar
        dolorean

        My 2000 BMW 323 Ci does that, opening the sunroof, windows, and even the rear vent windows on a little winder mechanism if you hold the unlock button. My 2008 Saturn Astra XR did it too, though just the four windows, not the sunroof. On hot days, it’s real nice to be able to vent out the car like this before plunging myself into a sauna before the A/C kicks in.

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Interesting point, but I also think the woman has to expect those sorts of things in general in order for chivalry to even apply. My girlfriend doesn’t seem to pick up on the cues I present her with.

    • 0 avatar
      Yuppie

      28-Cars-Later is totally right. Most women nowadays do not pick up on these cues. When you put your hand on a chair at a restaurant (to pull it out for her), she walks to the opposite side. And when you walk to the passenger side of a vehicle, she either wonders why you are getting in her way or assumes you drive an illegally imported JDM RHD Skyline.

  • avatar
    319583076

    “I had never unlocked nor held a car door open for Jenn. Not once. Not ever. And it all comes down to power door locks and, well, me *never thinking* to do it.” (my emphasis)

    Key fobs and power locks do not obviate your thought processes nor your selfishness. Technology didn’t kill your chivalry – you were never chivalrous to begin with. This isn’t an issue of feminism, either. It’s narcissism.

    • 0 avatar
      Mr. Orange

      I concur.

      My present car has passive keyless entry and dual zone climate control. Having both of those never stopped me from either physically opening the door or changing the temperature. The only thing I’ve “lost” is the passenger unlocking the door for the driver. And when someone chooses to be Queen b-tch I will not be at their vengeful mercy.

      You sir, Mr. Writer, are just slyly blaming the technology for things you apparently would no longer care to do. And be aware you do, Mr. Writer, have the option of pulling the fuse to the doorlocks if your feeling nostalgic.

    • 0 avatar
      RideHeight

      319583076,

      Thank you for the lucid summary as to how disingenuously ditzy is this article and why.

      It has me stuck in the sort of brain freeze usually brought on by DeMuro’s gibbering.

    • 0 avatar
      thegamper

      Having started my driving career in the mid 1990’s I would enjoy opening the door for my date whenever possible. It was a nice thing to do and for the lady, probably a nice thing to have done. Even now I try to open the car door for my wife when I have the chance and we are out on a date. My problem is less with the key fob and more with valets. Hey jackass, I will get the door for my wife thank you very much, you get on the other side and get the door for me.

    • 0 avatar
      CoreyDL

      SNAP! Calling it out.

      Just think how much more impressive it would have been had you done it on the fancypants A7 with lighted awning approach lamps and lovely heavy doors!

    • 0 avatar
      05lgt

      Did you not read all the way to the last paragraph? Title too much to overcome?

  • avatar
    jkross22

    Stickshifts and safetybelts,
    Bucket seats have all got to go.
    When we’re driving in the car,
    It makes my baby seem so far.
    I need you here with me,
    Not way over in a bucket seat.
    I need you to be here with me,
    Not way over in a bucket seat.
    But when we’re driving in my Malibu,
    It’s easy to get right next to you.
    I say, “Baby, scoot over, please.”
    And then she’s right there next to me.
    I need you here with me,
    Not way over in a bucket seat.
    I need you to be here with me,
    Not way over in a bucket seat.

  • avatar
    SlowMyke

    Chivalry isn’t dead in my life, it’s just unwanted. The wife actually gets mad when I go to open her door. It apparently takes too long to actually open it for her versus pushing the button on the fob. And pushing the button on the fob was slower than the passive entry was in the Cadillac (when it was actually working). And while passive entry was nice, I had to rush to my door first, since opening that door allowed the others to open automatically as well. That created the least chivalrous situation ever, me hurrying to get my door open before my wife could even get to her door. And then hoping her door would work, because Cadillac, ya know…

  • avatar
    Drzhivago138

    Requesting pics of ’50s/’60s cars where all the temperature and radio controls were angled around Mr. Driver. I know they’re out there, I just don’t remember on which cars.

    • 0 avatar
      JohnTaurus_3.0_AX4N

      Seems like the Omni/Horizon had HVAC on the left side of the steering wheel, so only the driver had control over it. I think 1970s LTDs and Granadas were similar.

    • 0 avatar
      CoreyDL

      It went on way after that! :)

      1995 Prelude
      1993 DeVille
      1999 DeVille
      1995 Seville
      1997 SVX

      • 0 avatar
        28-Cars-Later

        This post is 2/5ths Northstar, which is too much Northstar by volume.

        • 0 avatar
          CoreyDL

          Are you suggesting that Northstar interior designs were some subliminal GM commentary against feminism?!

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            In that the design was fantastic until it completely failed?

            Yes, yes I am.

          • 0 avatar
            CoreyDL

            Lol, oh we’re clever today eh? Very nice.

            Also I feel like Ronnie should show up here shortly and say some stuff. He always has commentary on these sorts of social issues.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            We’re a bit more philosophical than clever today.

            What is the future?

          • 0 avatar
            dolorean

            According to Car Talk, it wasn’t until recently that the execs at Cadillac had their engineers wear paper clips on their finger tips IOT mimic the finger motions of female clients with fingernails attempting to utilize the buttons, touch screens, door handle and other interior bits.

            Oh, and to not start sales conversations with, “Hey, Toots! You here to pick up the car for your husband?”

  • avatar
    Chan

    So back in the un-modern days, chivalry was necessary as men held the access to the car (and to practically everything else, come to think about it).

    Today’s chivalry is a consciously chosen behaviour…..which is probably why most women appreciate it.

  • avatar
    Xeranar

    As a feminist the idea that ‘chivalry’ is anything but an outdated gender notion will be sure to get barbs rather quickly from this crowd. That said, when my wife was still with us I had no problem getting the door for her and being as kind as possible for her needs because I cared. The difference is that it was a mutual affair, she gave me room when I needed to handle my paperwork and was willing to pickup cooking when I couldn’t handle it. She was sickly towards the end and I did the best I could.

    The difference here is that chivalry DEMANDS a man do that out of honor rather than choice. IT’s why what you’re doing isn’t technically chivalry at all but something along the lines of a kind thought put towards an action. The one point most of you keep alive with chivalry is the ‘never hit a woman’ thing which bothers me because nobody is going to beat on me man, woman, or child. I may not respond in kind with violence, but I won’t let them pummel me.

    So, back on topic, modern cars are designed to empower all who come to them and really we spend most of our time in them alone which is problematic but another issue for another day. Just treat your companions as human beings and provide care and love to all. :)

    • 0 avatar
      SCE to AUX

      Agreed. And the ingrained kindness you demonstrated toward your wife contributes toward harboring fewer regrets later on. I hope you have peace at this point.

      Selfless care for others is both taught and modeled over a long period of time. My daughter has emulated my wife in this way; hopefully my sons can learn a bit from me in spite of my failings.

    • 0 avatar
      28-Cars-Later

      Xer, sorry to hear. As different as we may be, we may have more in common than one would think…

      http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/04/junkyard-find-1988-chevrolet-nova-sedan/#comment-5377521

      • 0 avatar
        Xeranar

        Wow, I finally got a chance to read that I’m glad I was home when I did. That touched me, 28, genuinely. I get upset with your politics but I can’t hate you as a person. It was something we both knew wasn’t going to last, we just hoped get a good 10 or 20 instead of 8 and no kids. But that’s how life goes sometimes, it just rededicated me towards my work. I was assuredly a much more mellow character back then. Now it’s hard for me to turn it back from 11 most of the time.

        But we all have to keep on trucking until it’s our time. It’s what we do best sometimes. :)

  • avatar
    Zackman

    “Gag & Spew”… I’m still trying to figure out what place that is. The previous place was pretty plain to me.

    I have always opened the door for any lady friend I used to have, and for the last almost 40 years, I continue to open the door for my wife most times except when she says “don’t bother” if we’re in a hurry or some other circumstance. I even open and close the door for her most of the time when she drives.

    Chivalry isn’t dead, the death of it is just self-inflicted for those who don’t care.

    • 0 avatar
      CoreyDL

      I bet it’s a Canadian place? Or Steak & Shake?

    • 0 avatar
      wmba

      Mark lives in the Halifax NS area as do I. But he’s a youngster, so won’t remember that the Gag and Spew was a restaurant on Spring Garden road, officially named The Garden View. Geddit? The lexicon has survived locally to mean any gag-a-maggot purveyor of what might loosely be termed “food”.

      But back in the late swinging sixties, the Gag and Spew had semi-reasonable food that no fast food outlet I’ve ever been in could touch. It was more a term of endearment and a nickname that students and other money-short people used.

  • avatar
    sirwired

    I’m not sure why it’s ever considered rude to not open the door. If there are no central locks, sure… I mean, if you are already unlocking the door, you might as well open it, assuming she’s in a position to then get in. And of course if she is laden with packages or something, go right ahead.

    But for central locking systems, as long as there’s no impediment, she’s perfectly capable of opening and closing the door herself without me doing a lap around the car to open and close it for her.

    For doors on buildings, it should be opened by whoever is on the same side of the door as the hinge for doors that open towards you, and vice-versa for doors opening away from you; otherwise you have to an awkward little dance as she walks around you to get through the door you just opened.

    • 0 avatar
      Drzhivago138

      I will hold the door open for anyone following me or coming the other way, regardless of sex, as long as the pause is less than 3 seconds (any more than that and I start to feel awkward, they start to feel guilty for making me wait, and it’s generally a bad time for everyone involved).

      • 0 avatar
        JohnTaurus_3.0_AX4N

        As do I. Gender doesnt matter in that situation, its just simply being polite. I notice when people dont do it, and I instantly think to myself “well, s/he’s just selfish”.

        Its the same people who wont let you merge in properly or who turn in front of you when you have the green arrow (and they have red).

        There are four lane highways around me with crossovers instead of entry/exit ramps and over/under passes. There is this one area where two people ALWAYS pull out at the same time, each one taking their own lane, forcing me to slam on brakes until one of them realizes “hey, maybe 40 mph isnt correct for a 65 zone” and goes the hell on. Really irtitating. Im tempted to get a dash cam so if one day I cant slow down fast enough, Ill have proof that I did nothing wrong, but they did. I know Ill probably still be ruled at fault, but maybe I can shame them on youtube lol.

        • 0 avatar
          Drzhivago138

          I always try to think the best of everyone, so if they don’t hold the door for me, I think, “Oh, they just didn’t notice me. I am a quiet person.”

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus_3.0_AX4N

            Yeah, I guess Im refering to when they know damn well that someone is behind them, but pay no attention because they are self-centered and consider politeness as only viable when you can use it to get something out of someone.

          • 0 avatar
            319583076

            There’s not much dignity in human affairs today and perhaps there never has been. But each moment presents us with a choice – a choice to act dignified or not.

            It’s never been a question of how others act, it’s a question of who you choose to be, and whether you’re willing to share our communal space with dignity.

            “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” – Wilde

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus_3.0_AX4N

            I see your point, but I think you are confusing my inner thoughts with the way I conduct myself in public.

            For example, if I were walking into Wendy’s behind someone who didnt hold the door for me (but clearly knew I was just a step or two behind them), and then on my way out I found myself in front of them at the door as we were both leaving, I would hold it for them despite the fact they chose not to for me. I find that the best way to combat rudeness in person is not with more of it, but the exact opposite: kindness. Perhaps the person who didnt hold the door for me, but for whom I held the door for later, would feel appropriately guilty about it and maybe next time in the same situation, they would choose differently based on the previous experience.

            The only people Im downright rude to, and make no appologies for it, are those that constantly use my vehicle and autoparts ads on craigslist to attempt to scam me. I have no problem telling them exactly what I think of them. They are scum, attempting to prey on the trusting nature of others, and deserve nothing but the worst in return. Ive been using craigslist for a decade or more to buy and sell, I can spot a scammer from a mile away.

          • 0 avatar
            Drzhivago138

            This. Guilt-tripping is the only acceptable tripping. And Craigslist scammers are at the same level as robocalling telemarketers.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    The best chivalry/dating video of all time (23 seconds):

  • avatar
    orenwolf

    So, Tim Hortons (obviously) and.. A&W? I can’t think of another Canadian chain with an ampersand in it.

    Interesting note, Canadian A&W has nearly nothing to do with the US but name and branding – the ownership, and thereby menu and so on, are totally different.

    As for this form of Chivalry? Well, I just walk around to the passenger side first, regardless of whether or not it unlocks automatically. :)

  • avatar
    APaGttH

    Call me old fashioned – always opened the door for the wife since the day we met. Even if she is driving, I’ll open the driver’s door for her. It is just what a man should do.

  • avatar
    carlisimo

    Dunno… my friends’ gfs/wives have expressed envy when I open the passenger door for my wife. Granted, I started doing that back when I had a very cheap car without power locks, during grad school. Maybe it’s a difficult habit to start otherwise.

    • 0 avatar
      Andrew717

      My wife expresses envy when our friend opens the door for his wife. . . and exasperated impatience if I do the same for her, as she then has to wait for me to walk to the other side of the car. Consistency is not always her watchword.

      • 0 avatar
        05lgt

        Sadly, I am close to this. I opened the door for my wife on a date night out, and she went around to drive.
        “Why don’t you want to drive tonight?”
        “Ummmm…”
        “Crap! You were opening it for me, weren’t you?”

  • avatar
    Sigivald

    1) I don’t see what a set of medieval combat codes has to do with cars.

    2) In most cases*, that’s not “modern cars” killing opening the door for your date – it’s laziness.

    (* Exceptions being things like my SuperDuty – not a datemobile anyway – where it doesn’t have a remote *and* there’s not even a lock cylinder on the passenger side.

    The *only* way to unlock the passenger door is after opening the driver’s door (or using the keypad on it; code, then 3-4).

    And it’s awkward enough to do that and then walk over that unless it’s your grandma who can’t walk so good, it’s not really effective anyway.)

  • avatar
    greaseyknight

    Its very much appreciated by my fiance and its something thats important to her, so I do it every time. She’ll even wait as a hint if I forget for some reason.

    The real question is, when driving to together, who drives? I grew up in a family that my dad always drove, even if we were riding in the mommy mobile. Practically it allowed mom to deal with the kids, but I also see it as a sign of respect and care like opening the car door.

  • avatar

    For some reason, women are scared to get in a Black SRT with tinted out windows and modified exhaust system with me…

  • avatar
    Dipstick

    Upside of chivalry is not having your car door slammed so hard the glass explodes or the opposite, seeing the door ajar message too late in the highway.
    Still a mystery though why every farm boy brings him self to his knees while proposing like a knight?

  • avatar
    dal20402

    Funny, my new car with lots of toys is forcing me to open the door more.

    Until this point, all the cars I’ve shared with my wife have had the conventional-for-2005 key fob. I just hit the button twice, all doors are open, and everyone gets in their own door. My new-to-me LS has keyless access where if the fob is on your person and you grab any door handle it senses your palm and unlocks… just that one door. So after the first time we walked up to the car, when I went through a five-step dance to figure out how to unlock her door (much to her amusement), I’ve just started walking up to her side and opening her door. She’s born in 1979 and likes that a lot.

    There is a setting where a palm on one handle will open all the doors, but now I kind of don’t want to change it.

  • avatar
    honda_lawn_art

    I always thought of chivalry as a man’s way of thanking a lady for the special things she does.
    And while some young people see it as archaic or whatever, you open the door for your grandma dammit. And grandma doesn’t have some snarky reason why you shouldn’t either, she changed your daddy’s and your diapers after all. Not only is it your way to show appreciation, it’s also your way to show her that she raised good kids across two generations.

  • avatar
    davefromcalgary

    Sorry but this I must disagree with this. Whether its the proximity key on the Verano or the no-power-locks-key-in-door on her old Accent, I have been opening the door for her since day 1. The technology at hand matters not.

  • avatar
    PeterKK

    Eh. Don’t blame the technology.

    You can use the clicker to your advantage even. She can’t open the door until you unlock it (on a date I guess, with kids things are much different, but I digress). I have purposely not unlocked a door until my other hand was on the knob so I could open it for her. :) I mean it was kind of a joke, but sometimes I forget and I think she appreciates it when I do open it for her. Even if I had to lock her out to do so, heh.

  • avatar
    JuniperBug

    My car doesn’t have power locks, and the doors are light enough that nearly everyone slams them hard enough to make me cringe. I also usually want to open the non-power window so that I can drop the top once I get in my side of the car, so I do that at the same time.

    My opening and closing the door for a girl isn’t chivalry; it’s being practical while trying not to hurt the girl’s feelings.

    On second thought, maybe that is chivalry.

    • 0 avatar
      Preludacris

      I like to open my car’s door for her when she gets out, not just in. This is so she doesn’t kick it open and crack the interior trim further, or swing it into an unusually high curb. Both possibilities are about the furthest thing from being on her mind, so I gotta do what I can.

      I hope opening the door when she gets in is a habit I don’t lose if/when I get a car with power locks. It just seems like a nice thing to do.

  • avatar
    wmba

    Two blips on the remote opens all my car doors. Amazingly enough, this can be done while approaching the vehicle, so that I can physiclly open the door(s) for women. Surely this is just good manners and hardly chivalry.

  • avatar
    RedRocket

    Chivalry is dead and buried and is isn’t just due to modern automobiles. Men used to stand when a women entered a room. They used to remove their hats when encountering a woman. They used to open all doors, not just car doors. And of course back then everyone smoked, so they used to light women’s cigarettes as a matter of course. I think life was better then.

  • avatar
    Arthur Dailey

    It works both ways. To paraphrase a scene from the classic movie ‘A Bronx Tale’ when Chaz Palmenteri (the gangster Sonny) lends his Cadillac convertible to the kid Calogero for a first date, he gives him some advice: ” open the door for her and let her in the car, then walk around to the driver’s side. If she slides over and unlocks the driver’s door for you then she is a keeper, if she just sits there and doesn’t unlock your door, then she isn’t”.

    Sorry but technology is not always an improvement.

  • avatar
    JimC2

    You can still use the power locks and hold the passenger door for a lady (including your mother). Oh, wait, the crappy power locks that Volvo and Toyota use don’t work after about five years. And without a key lock then you’re consigned to the “reach across” (get your mind out of the gutter).


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