If there is a hell, you will probably find it on Craigslist.
Also, if there is a Santa Claus, you will probably find him performing some advanced NSA style hacking that tracks all the emails and texts people like me have to endure.
I’m pretty sure that Saint Nick would also have an amazing Craigslist to English translator for that purpose.
“Wut” very roughly translate to what, of course…. unless “wut” happens to be a typo, in which case, start thinking of words that end with “ut.”
“Whass u got???” is, “Excuse my kind sir, but I have texted 33 people in the last 22 minutes. I can’t even remember why I texted you but… whass u got?”
I miss the good old days.
10 years ago, the average person you dealt with on Craigslist was a professional in many respects. They knew what they were buying. They knew that it would take a reasonable amount of cash money to buy it. And they knew that their free time shouldn’t have to become your time to the tune of 13 texts that could mostly be answered by just reading the ad.
These days I feel like I’m left with the far left hand side of the bell curve. Of course, there are a few stragglers that find a way of making it to the middle of that curve and beyond. But most times, I’m left to deal with folks with those 13 questions that are spelling catastrophes, and a budget that has mostly champagne on the mind and Schlitz in the wallet.
Text: “R u farm? I have $$$!!!”
Translation: I am the doofus who hogs the computers at the public library playing Farmville. I have no $$$!!!.
Text: “What’s the lowest you’ll go?”
Translation: Because whatever you say, it will never be low enough.
Text: “Is it a diesel?”
Translation: I am confused. What does the word gas mean in the description? Also, is this 30 year old Mercedes cheap to own?
Text: “Is it a V8?”
Translation: I can only afford to look at pictures while goofing off in high school. You mentioning that it is a V8 in the title AND description has no bearing on my current reading level.
Text: Can you send me pics?
Translation: Because 24 pictures of a 15 year old Ford Escort wagon is certainly not enough!
Text: “Can you come to my place?”
Translation: No, trust me. You don’t want to go anywhere near my place.