Hammer Time: 10 Random Thoughts On Car Buying

Last weekend I flew into the highly opinionated world known as Long Island. Within minutes my sensitive Southern ears were exposed to the most strident of views in today’s political world. These conversations can be summarized in four words, “Yay us! Boo them!” The usual cheering sections of modern politics.

After gradually listening to the verbal pom-poms over a nice cup of tea, I realized something. I’m no different.

Perish the thought. I may very well believe in several ideas about car buying that are essentially untrue.

Heck, I may even unknowingly promote them at TTAC. So here are 10 opinions I have on car buying. No essays. No glorious soliloquies of pithy summations. Just thoughts with a brief rationale. Let me know if you agree or disagree. I’m handing out free pom-poms in honor of my trip.

1. Certified means nothing

We have a saying in the auto auction business. “If a car company sold nothing but shitbags, they would at least be certified shitbags.”

Certified means nothing. Zero. Not even the letters that make up the word.

2. Neither do brands

Better brand? Doesn’t matter. Even Toyota and Honda now sell cheap cars.

3. Most accidents are overrated.

“Has this car been in any accidents?” Unless it’s a severe accident with frame damage and/or the repairs or parts were substandard, it doesn’t matter.

4. If you don’t know the owner, you’re buying a stranger.

Car cleaning chemicals may make a vehicle look shiny and more expensive in today’s retail market. But it doesn’t make it a better buy.

5. The car market thrives on debt and stupidity.

The media marketers don’t exclaim…. “Blow $12,000 and own nothing after 3 years!”

Instead they tell you, “Lease for only $299 a month! That’s right!” and then the manufacturers provide consumers with 15 paragraphs of gotchas and small print BS that is designed to ream your savings account.

6. Most car reviews are sinuoustic trash.

Throw in 27 adjectives. 13 adverbs. Copious amounts of self-adulation and navel gazing. Heck! Throw in a few SAT words like copious and voila! You have a new car review.

Not a good car review. But one that can pay the bills if you’re the writer for most non-automotive publications… or Motor Trend.

7. The goal with car buying is not to be rational. The goal is to be happy.

Don’t ever be afraid to pay a premium for a superior product. So long as you have the cash, you will never regret forgoing the “right deal”.

Deals are based on cheap. Happiness, when it comes to cars at least, is based on purchasing those things that endure.

8. The best car to own is the one you can maintain yourself.

Every armchair historian in this business likes to mention the 3rd generation Camry (1992 – 1996) as a bellwether for Toyota’s superior quality. It is… to a degree. But one of the main reasons why is because nearly everything on the popular four-cylinder version is easy to inspect and service.

When you know what’s going on with your car, it’s easier to enjoy it for the long haul.

9. When it comes to cars it’s almost always better to fall in love again, than find a new lover.

Do I advocate owning an automotive dinosaur? No. Not really…. perhaps… OK. Maybe one.

Certain older cars have a driving experience that can’t be replicated. There may be vehicles that surpass the enduring qualities of a 1st gen Miata or Insight in today’s market for instance. I just haven’t experienced them yet.

10. The future may be modular.

When the powertrains quit on the two cars I mentioned, I’ll just put in a new powertrain. Everything in a car can be replaced.

Or maybe not? Today’s cars are electronic laden after all.

Let me know what you think.