Despite Water Pump Woes, Citron Hell Road Trip Reaches Louisiana

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

Yesterday morning, it seemed that Spank’s LeMons-veteran ’71 Citroën DS would be stranded in El Paso due to a bad water pump shaft seal. When your car is made out of pure unobtanium, Miami seems much farther than a mere 2,800 miles from San Diego.

The clutch started slipping somewhere in the California desert, Actually, it started slipping during the Sears Pointless LeMons race in March, but it became alarming in the California desert.

Thanks to some help from Quattroporte-drivin’ Pendejo Racing, Spank figured out that the weight of the clutch pedal was overwhelming the weak spring and causing the clutch to disengage slightly. The fix: bungee cord on the pedal!

Things were going fine for a while.

But then Spank’s Honda-motorcycle-radiator-and-AC-condenser-fan heater rig stopped blowing warm air. Uh-oh.

No water! Turns out the Citroën’s water pump shaft seal had let go, causing water to pour out the drain holes designed to keep water out of the bearing. Water was still being pumped, but most of it was being pumped to the wrong place.

After spending the night in El Paso, Spank worked on the car while dozens of LeMons veterans called every auto-parts store and junkyard in West Texas. You want a water pump for a whaaaaat? That’s when the 12-volt RV hot-water pump came into play: just remove the Citroën’s fan belt, block off the pump’s drain holes, and let electricity cool the engine.

Weirdly enough, it worked! As you read this, the Citroën is well into Louisiana on a “no sleep till Miami” run. You can follow the ongoing adventure here, as legions of LeMons racers offer help to heroic solo Citroën road-tripper and Index of Effluency winner Mike Spangler aka Spank in his crazed cross-country journey. And I thought I’d made some epic road trips in hoopty-ass cars— San Francisco to Atlanta in a beater ’65 Impala loaded with all my stuff now seems like nothing!










Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Hagerty and The Truth About Cars.

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  • Mpopka Mpopka on Dec 30, 2010

    Is he coming to see us in August 2012, Yorkshire, UK for the 15th International Citroën Car Club Rally? Lots of "D" Spares there! See www.icccr2012.org.uk We look forward to you joining us for the most memorable Citroën event that you will ever attend! Regards Mick

  • Ken Nelson Ken Nelson on Jan 07, 2011

    The DS had the "champignon" (mushroom) brake button as it was always the upscale model. The ID was a few francs cheaper as it had the not quite so proportioning (front/rear) pendant pedal, but both of them have very short travel as they're just pushing a tiny valve feeding hydraulic system pressure of 2500 psi to the brakes, and either "pedal" will stand the car on its nose! The Cit always had a crummy waterpump seal, held to the shaft by nothing but a rubber collar, and the first time the sliding seal faces stuck while sitting, the shaft would spin inside the collar, burn it out, and the pump would leak. So now I glue the rubber collar insert to the impeller hub with PL roof & flashing sealant from Home Despot, and the seal should last the life of the car. But then Spank hasn't lived with Cits as long as some of us, so he's definitely a very brave man! Ken

  • Normie I'd hate to have to actually use that awkwardly mounted spare tire in a roadside fix scenario. Bumper jack? Tote around a 40 lb. floor jack? That's a high ridin' buggy!
  • TMA1 That interior is exactly what you'd expect out of a Sweden/China collaboration: minimilist, but also extremely cheap and flimsy. Congrats to them on making the Dodge Charger look like a good idea.
  • Calrson Fan Too heavy, too expensive and lacking immensely in towing capability compared to a gas truck. I'll add terrible resale value to boot. Imagine how quickly this obese Silverado will go thru a set of of expensive tires. What? mayb 40K miles if you're lucky and they're shot. To think GM $hit canned the Volt/Voltec & gave us this useless road disaster along with the Hummer EV. It boggles the mind.
  • Jeff I always liked Isuzu having owned an Isuzu in the past.
  • Mtb138493630 Try working in aviation. Every single nut and bolt must be traceable back to its origin
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