Hammer Time: Crisis

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

Holy shit! That’s Mike!” I was flipping through the channels… and there he was. A friend of mine. University of Michigan MBA. Extroverted personality par excellence. Former middle manager at Ford, trying to sell used cars on a public access station. ‘Welcome to the P.T. Barnum world of no shame!” I thought to myself… and God knows I’ve already been there. First there was a Mini (nice car!). Then a PT Cruiser (at least they shined it up). Then the 2078th Impala that was for sale in South Carolina. Then…

I got bored in about five minutes. So I decided to go for a drive and see what passes for business these days in Myrtle Beach. “I need to drop off a couple of letters.” I told the wife… and so the journey to the post office began. At first I noticed the businesses. 200 restaurants. The largest were all you can eat buffets that hocked any type of gimmick to attract the public.

The few skinny American women to be found anywhere on the strip were already there at these eating depots… dressed in mermaid outfits. Giant crab billboard signs and dancing lobsters (in 100+ degree heat!) crowned an endless stretch of cheap T-shirt and chotchky stores. Tatoo parlors. Title pawns. Fast Food joints. A few doctor and dentist offices to service all the collective stupidity. God what a mess.

I realized something in that moment. I’m no better. Even though virtually everyone there was feeding on the trough of cheapness, so was I. The only difference was that I had greater awareness of their habitual parasites, and a far less better understanding of my own.

The addictions of building a business and yet being tethered by my own self-anointed cynicism. A love for making all things better (people, things, situations) had been halved and quartered by a lazy douchebag partner who made an easy living for all my auto auction work. Thankfully, I also had a highly successful car dealership with no partner in sight. Along with an emerging rental car business greatly inspired by the Meir Panim article which had simply taken off like a rocket. My work life was definitely chaotic… but interesting. But I also had way too much stress thanks in great part to the behaviors of other people.

For a talented car guy, I was obviously being pretty friggin’ dumb by stretching myself out so thin and with so little joy to show for it. But then again, it’s very hard to say no to the ideas and opportunities that are in your head. Especially when the bank account swells thanks to your persistence in ‘willing’ those ideas. That success becomes addictive and all consuming. It’s a devil of fiery stress that gathers strength with every passing thought. To the point where the business mind simply never shuts off. You re-think the stresses. Go over the scenarios… and pretty soon you miss half the afternoon with your family.

My late Dad did one thing for 60 years. He imported food. One brother has been in radiology for nearly 20 years now. He has saved countless lives… and is a great family man to boot. The other brother is a bum. But at least he’s been consistent at it since graduating college. For me… the entrepreneurial gadfly… I literally spin the plates of several cottage industries in the hope that none of them get smashed by this recession. Lucrative? Yes. Interesting? Sometimes. But with three spinning plates in the car business… my clarity and focus are starting to go deep south.

And so the mid-life crisis begins. It’s simply amazing what can come to your consciousness on a short drive to the post office.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • SherbornSean SherbornSean on Jun 25, 2010

    Maybe its time to buy a Miata?

    • See 1 previous
    • Majo8 Majo8 on Jun 25, 2010

      I highly recommend it. Just bought a 90 Miata for $3800 in great shape. I'm enjoying it more than the slightly modded 07 Mustang that I just sold........

  • Porschespeed Porschespeed on Jun 27, 2010

    UM MBA? Schooled in the ways of failing upward, it has finally given him his comeuppance. Maybe he's a nice guy, but the School of DET has been a failure for 30 years. It is equivalent to a Geico School of Cavemen degree.

  • W Conrad I'm not afraid of them, but they aren't needed for everyone or everywhere. Long haul and highway driving sure, but in the city, nope.
  • Jalop1991 In a manner similar to PHEV being the correct answer, I declare RPVs to be the correct answer here.We're doing it with certain aircraft; why not with cars on the ground, using hardware and tools like Telsa's "FSD" or GM's "SuperCruise" as the base?Take the local Uber driver out of the car, and put him in a professional centralized environment from where he drives me around. The system and the individual car can have awareness as well as gates, but he's responsible for the driving.Put the tech into my car, and let me buy it as needed. I need someone else to drive me home; hit the button and voila, I've hired a driver for the moment. I don't want to drive 11 hours to my vacation spot; hire the remote pilot for that. When I get there, I have my car and he's still at his normal location, piloting cars for other people.The system would allow for driver rest period, like what's required for truckers, so I might end up with multiple people driving me to the coast. I don't care. And they don't have to be physically with me, therefore they can be way cheaper.Charge taxi-type per-mile rates. For long drives, offer per-trip rates. Offer subscriptions, including miles/hours. Whatever.(And for grins, dress the remote pilots all as Johnnie.)Start this out with big rigs. Take the trucker away from the long haul driving, and let him be there for emergencies and the short haul parts of the trip.And in a manner similar to PHEVs being discredited, I fully expect to be razzed for this brilliant idea (not unlike how Alan Kay wasn't recognized until many many years later for his Dynabook vision).
  • B-BodyBuick84 Not afraid of AV's as I highly doubt they will ever be %100 viable for our roads. Stop-and-go downtown city or rush hour highway traffic? I can see that, but otherwise there's simply too many variables. Bad weather conditions, faded road lines or markings, reflective surfaces with glare, etc. There's also the issue of cultural norms. About a decade ago there was actually an online test called 'The Morality Machine' one could do online where you were in control of an AV and choose what action to take when a crash was inevitable. I think something like 2.5 million people across the world participated? For example, do you hit and most likely kill the elderly couple strolling across the crosswalk or crash the vehicle into a cement barrier and almost certainly cause the death of the vehicle occupants? What if it's a parent and child? In N. America 98% of people choose to hit the elderly couple and save themselves while in Asia, the exact opposite happened where 98% choose to hit the parent and child. Why? Cultural differences. Asia puts a lot of emphasis on respecting their elderly while N. America has a culture of 'save/ protect the children'. Are these AV's going to respect that culture? Is a VW Jetta or Buick Envision AV going to have different programming depending on whether it's sold in Canada or Taiwan? how's that going to effect legislation and legal battles when a crash inevitibly does happen? These are the true barriers to mass AV adoption, and in the 10 years since that test came out, there has been zero answers or progress on this matter. So no, I'm not afraid of AV's simply because with the exception of a few specific situations, most avenues are going to prove to be a dead-end for automakers.
  • Mike Bradley Autonomous cars were developed in Silicon Valley. For new products there, the standard business plan is to put a barely-functioning product on the market right away and wait for the early-adopter customers to find the flaws. That's exactly what's happened. Detroit's plan is pretty much the opposite, but Detroit isn't developing this product. That's why dealers, for instance, haven't been trained in the cars.
  • Dartman https://apnews.com/article/artificial-intelligence-fighter-jets-air-force-6a1100c96a73ca9b7f41cbd6a2753fdaAutonomous/Ai is here now. The question is implementation and acceptance.
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