Things in the automotive industry are in constant flux, and as the industry goes, so must we.
While the coronavirus pandemic has the industry temporarily paused, along with the rest of the world, there will, sooner or later, be a resumption of production and vehicle sales. And since we’re in tune with the pulse of the industry, we’ve decided we need to change our name. We’re doing so now, so that we can suck up the sweet, sweet Google juice as bored shoppers search for the car they plan to buy as soon as the shelter-in-place orders lift.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce The Truth About Crossovers.
That’s right. With a market that’s rapidly shifting away from sedans, sports cars, and wagons, it seems odd that we’d be called The Truth About Cars when no one is buying any. And saying “crossovers” instead of SUVs or trucks (the only other thing people buy) allows us to keep the “C” in the name, thus saving pennies on graphic designers and keeping our SEO intact.
I know y’all love to come here to read about Accords and Camrys and Mustangs, but those cars? Relics of the past! Everyone now drives an anonymous blob with ride height and names that evoke off-road adventures that the owners will never, ever experience. Sure, they’re just tall wagons, but don’t tell Karen from down the street that.
I mean, even the Mustang is going crossover. The incoming Mustang Mach-E may not have all that much ground clearance, and it’s really just an EV hatchback using the Mustang name in order to get consumers to pay attention to it, but if you ask Ford, it’s a crossover.
Hell, Tesla is even driving its Model Y through shallow puddles, because it’s a crossover!
So in a world gone crossover, it’s only time that we catch up to the trends. Sure, TTAC is known as being as a thorn in the side of the automotive establishment (thornier at some times more so than others), but even we have to ride the tide of the mainstream on some level.
Breathe it in, get used to it … we are now The Truth About Crossovers. We’ll update you in the following days about changes to the URL so you can bookmark us properly and keep your RSS feeds up to date.
Yes, I know this is hard news to swallow for some of you. You might think I’m joking. Maybe you should check the date of this post ;)
Editor’s note: I had some apprehension writing a joke post with all the grim news brought about by the coronavirus pandemic. We had an internal discussion and decided that with everything going on, the world needs some comedy, or at least poor attempts at comedy, during this awful time. Besides, we’re not a brand trying to sell you something via a cynical marketing ploy – we’re just idiots who write about cars.
Hopefully you got a chuckle out of this.
[Image: General Motors]
I am really wanting to post something about turbos or superchargers, but it feels kind of forced. :-)
I see what you did there.
Toolguy, quit trying to ram your hot air down everybody’s throats
Rather exhausting thing to say!
Most exist in a vacuum.
This is about 10 years overdue. Finally this site does something truthful – acknowledging that cars are dead and manual transmissions are second rate for poor people. If they weren’t, they would be in crossovers.
I’m eagerly awaiting the indepth coverage for the all new Trailblazer the way we got Corvette and Supra news. Let’s see some things people want to read about!
I also heard DeMuro is coming back to write since his YouTube channel has been failing so badly. I look forward to that.
This is a very serious decision. And it is a most auspicious day for this type of announcement.
Congrats! ;-)
‘Bout time.
In solidarity with the new TTAC, I will by trading in my stick-shift midsize sedan for the blobbiest of crossover blobs, the ExPalazer or whatever its called.
April Fools
Shouldn’t it really like sorta oughta be the truth ’bout fugly tall-like station wagon/minivanish thingies with tires like the size of the solar system. But that thing in the pitcher don’t have no blue sturgical masque.
I thought I’d enter the political argument, too.
Pick one:
A) The republicans made me do it.
B) The democrats made me do it.
C) The conspiracy theorist made them do it.
D) None of the above.
E) All of the above.
F) Why me?
Nice, I like to start the day with a little humor.
Would’ve been more effective if you also changed the logo at the top of the page.
Although that logo could use a re-design, regardless of the date.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think we could get something worked up in time.
Finally!
So, why not The Truth About Chick (cars)
It could be all about the VW Cabrio variants throughout the years, but only in white.
Then the B&B will mean B*tch Baskets?
You had me SCARED for a second!!!
Automobiles are dying, manual transmissions are dying, CVTs will become the only transmissions available, turbo 3s will be the only engine available with GM possibly putting one in the Silverado with a CVT to comply with future EPA rules and to ensure the truck doesn’t last any longer than the loan. The Chicken Tax will be eliminated and GM will make all their vehicles in Mexico and China and both GM and Ford will be due for another bailout. Ethanol content will be raise to 10%, then 15%, and then E85 will be required leaving all of us with non compliant vehicles to be force to buy the disposable turbo 3s with CVTs ensuring that the automobile manufacturers meet the new California ICE standards that will be forced on all buyers. After a while most buyers will give up on ICE vehicles and be forced into EVs and carrying extension cords because of the limited number of charging station. The Government will consider any vehicle older than a 2020 to be contraband and will confiscate it and fine the owner. Any vehicle older will be crushed and the metal will be sent to China to help GM, Ford, and FCA to build the new disposable appliances with turbo 3s and CVTs.
Beware the savage jaw…of 1984!
I’m still waiting for my hoverboard for the past five years. TTAH
That Model Y video is funny; every car on the market could ford that stream.
Well played, got me for a few seconds.In my defense, have not had coffee yet.
Obviously BS…Anyone could read the recent comments and clearly grasp that TTAC stands for “The Truth About COVID-19”
@Art Vandelay – Yup…. Que Phil Collins…..”I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord….”
I mean….it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch….
If this is not a April Fool’s joke, then kindly accept my unsubscribe.
The fact that the article ends with a clear explanation that it’s a joke, means perhaps you should unsubscribe.
TTABDMW = The Truth About Brown Diesel Manual Wagons
The unicorn we all seem to want but can never find.
My unicorn would be either a low mileage, rust free, one owner, dealer maintained, made in Oshawa 3800 Buick. Failing that an ‘affordable’ Avalon with similar attributes.
Bonneville SSE-I from the mid to late 90’s with the supercharged 3800 as you describe would be fine.
Honestly if it all goes to crap and I had to sell off my cars, this would be on my list. I wouldn’t even realize I was poor in those big plush seats.
Every April 1st you threaten to change the name. Why is that? Just do it we are not afraid.
NO! No more changes, I need stability in my life right now…
… and some toilet paper ;-)