Sex Car, Take Two: BMW's Autonomous Future Is Apparently Powered by Steam

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems
sex car take two bmw s autonomous future is apparently powered by steam

Volkswagen made waves and offended Corey’s sensibilities when it released an ad, a while back, that used sex to sell its line of family-friendly vehicles. Not implicit, come-hither-looks-from-passing-girls kinda sex, but full-on, here’s-people-doing-it kinda sex. Seemed a little rude.

Well, the Germans are at it again.

This time, it’s BMW and an online ad that uses raw, steamy passion and a concept-car-turned-bordello to sell its vision of an electric, autonomous future. A future that, until now, has boasted very little sex appeal. Like, zero sex appeal.

With its spot for the Vision iNext concept vehicle, BMW is explicitly saying that time spent driving could be put to better use by turning your vehicle — possibly borrowed, or worse yet, owned by a ride-hailing company — into a no-tell motel. Magic Fingers not included.

One hopes that BMW has a supply of stain-resistant seat fabric at the ready.

In this rolling display of debauchery and lewdness, we see a fashionable, European-looking couple making like they’re in a bathroom at a drug-infused rave (or perhaps a back-alley on Bourbon Street) as streetlights flit across windows. The lights of a police car come into view, but the occupants of the Crown Vic instead motor past the iNext, completely unaware of the carnal escapades occurring within.

“A space where everything can be done with ease,” reads BMW’s tweet.

A space where everything can be done with ease.

The BMW Vision iNEXT.

— BMW i (@BMWi) September 23, 2019

Weirdly, it’s quite clear that this unbelted and uninhibited couple is not actually inside a vehicle, but BMW wants us to believe they are. There’s not much to be seen in the exterior shots of the vehicle, minus the vehicle itself. And what an odd-looking vehicle it is, but that’s neither here nor there.

Bimmer bills the iNext as a vehicle that responds to the whims of its driver. Its steering wheel stands ready to serve those who aren’t getting any, but the wheel and all other dashboard trappings fade to the background when the occupant wishes to go driver-free.

“People, their emotions and wants, are at the forefront of all BMW Group thinking about the mobility of the future,” the automaker stated when debuting the iNext.

“Apart from the steering wheel and displays in the driver’s area, there are no other screens or controls to be seen in the BMW Vision iNEXT. In order to preserve the comfortable character of the rear compartment, and therefore keep the people on board at centre stage, the intelligent technology is integrated out of sight. Only when it is required by the driver or passengers does the technology become visible and operable. With the focus of attention on people, technology deliberately fades into the background and only becomes visible and operable, when the driver or passengers want it to be.”

Obviously, materials and marketing associated with the iNext focus on all the things a driver could be doing in that people-focused passenger space — responding to emails, preparing spreadsheets, making babies. Stuff like that. One imagines that this couple’s autonomous iNext is perfectly able to follow programmed instructions as to its destination, be that locale a place of residence, a pharmacy, or a confessional booth.

While the racy ad undoubtedly injects some heat into an automotive realm that boasts the same level of titillation as watching your elderly neighbors shower in a FEMA tent, it also gives credence to predictions that self-driving vehicles will become bedrooms on wheels. Is this what you want to see in the car next to you during your commute? Truthful answers only, please.

[Image: BMW/Twitter]

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  • Inside Looking Out Inside Looking Out on Sep 23, 2019

    Does BMW have bathroom on board? If not - I pass. But I am too old for that "joy" anyway. Germans for some reason are obsessed with sex not in the good way so I am not surprised how they imagine future joy. Probably complex of inferiority or too much of common sense and complete lack of passion make them want to be like Italians in their dreams..

  • Jkross22 Jkross22 on Sep 24, 2019

    My recent BMW X5 ownership experience had elements of sex - I got f***ed that's for sure.

    • ToddAtlasF1 ToddAtlasF1 on Sep 24, 2019

      There are some things that money can't buy. Some things* money will only rent. * at least until Democrats legalize slavery again

  • 28-Cars-Later I'm actually surprised at this and not sure what to make of it. In recent memory Senator Biden has completely ignored an ecological disaster in Ohio, and then ignored a tragic fire in Hawaii until his handlers were goaded in sending him and his visit turned into it's own disaster, but we skipped nap time for this sh!t show? Seriously? We really are through the looking glass now, "votes" no longer matter (Hillary almost won being the worst presidential candidate since 1984 before he claimed the crown) and outside of Corvette nostalgia Joe doesn't care let alone know what day it happens to be. Could they really be afraid of Trump, who AFAIK has planned no appearance or run his mouth on this issue? Just doesn't make sense, granted this is Clown World so maybe its my fault for trying to find sense in a senseless act.
  • Tassos If you only changed your series to the CORRECT "Possibly Collectible, NOT Daily Driver, NOT Used car of the day", it would sound much more accurate AND TRUTHFUL.Now who would collect THIS heap of trash for whatever misguided reason, nostalgia for a much worse automotive era or whatever, is another question.
  • ToolGuy Price dropped $500 overnight. (Wait 10 more days and you might get it for free?)
  • Slavuta Must be all planned. Increase price of cars, urbanize, 15 minutes cities. Be poor, eat bugs
  • Sid SB Not seen a Core without the performance pack yet. Prefer the more understated look of the Core vs the Circuit, but both are great fun to drive.