Expert Predicts Rise in Self-Driving Car Fornication; Window Tint Sellers Cheer

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems
expert predicts rise in self driving car fornication window tint sellers cheer

He doesn’t have any firm numbers, but Barrie Kirk has a feeling.

The Canadian Automated Vehicles Centre of Excellence executive director just knows that once humans no longer have to pump the brakes and jerk the wheel of their autonomous vehicles, their ingrained habits will give way to exploits of a carnal nature.

Yes, some people are predicting fleets of rolling bedrooms coursing their way through commuter traffic. Don’t tell Helen Lovejoy.

“That’s one of several things people will do which will inhibit their ability to respond quickly when the computer says to the human, ‘Take over,'” Kirk told The Canadian Press (via CBC).

Canadian officials, like those the world over, are trying to figure out how to regulate the predicted wave of self-driving vehicles. Over-confidence of a vehicle’s autonomous systems on the part of the occupant is one worry that’s popped up among bureaucratic circles.

Those fears were compounded when videos arose of Tesla owners taping themselves performing (fairly mundane) activities while their vehicle was in “autopilot” mode.

“People will not be able to respond in time,” Kirk said.

Will it be “eyes on the road, hands near the wheel” once transportation regulators finish their task? Canada’s most populous province, Ontario, already has loose regulations in effect to ensure there’s an occupant in the driver’s seat of an autonomous vehicle in case emergency intervention is needed.

There’s no word yet on whether Ontario, or other jurisdictions for that matter, will allow Dodge Monaco-sized front bench seats in their self-driving cars.

It’s too bad the “bed in a car” Nash brand is long gone.

Obviously, this is one of those “down the road” issues that people get their knickers in a twist about early on, but regulations have a way of happening eventually, even with the slow wheels of bureaucracy driving them.

So, what will occupants of self-driving cars be allowed to do once governments have their way? Where would you draw the line? Keep in mind that this issue reaches well beyond lewd escapades, and into the realm of napping.

Motel proprietors and window tinting companies anxiously await the outcome of this debate.

[Image: Insomnia Cured Here/ Flickr ( CC BY-SA 2.0)]

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4 of 40 comments
  • Multicam Multicam on May 04, 2016

    You don't need autonomous cars to make this happen... just cruise control and a couple dozen miles of flat, empty Florida highway.

    • Lou_BC Lou_BC on May 04, 2016

      A former colleague told me she had sex on a Harley while travelling down the highway. So where there is a will there is a way. I finally understand the appeal of ape hangers and floor boards.

  • Geekcarlover Geekcarlover on May 04, 2016

    Of course now. I could have made better use of this technology back in the late 80's & early 90's when I had a psycho (and frequently chemically altered) girlfriend.

    • -Nate -Nate on May 05, 2016

      Kidding , right ? . . My psycho-bitch ex G.F. loved getting live in the car , more so than in bed . . She was really happy when I bought a Convertible as she liked it with the top down , I got pretty good at figuring out how to park almost everywhere where no one was likely to walk up while we were busy... . To date the very best sex I ever had but the psycho part wasn't fun , after we wound up on the front page of the Sunday papers (not for sex related things) I called it quits . . -Nate

  • Slyons My guess is they keep the 2.0 liter they have now with minor tweaks, and shoehorn in the 48V mild hybrid system that just debuted in the CX-90. Should allow for all the regular fun of wringing out the 4 cyl and bump the fuel mileage up at least a couple points. I don't think we'll see a major evolution of the drivetrain until the next next model (NF?).
  • 28-Cars-Later " as long as internal-combustion engines exist?"So... forever until society collapses, rebuilds, and then the Hunger Games begin?
  • Jeff S It would be a neat project but the 6k should include the parts car.
  • Kcflyer Why oh why does every manufacturer slop the roof so much on vehicles that are supposed to be utilitarian? Especially a three row people mover. Let the rear roof square off like an old volvo wagon for cripes sake! And get off my lawn. And don't give me the mpg noise. I'd happily give back a couple mpg for some utility in a "utility" vehicle.
  • Varezhka KISS, just like Miata always has. No exotic powertrain options, a simple 2L NA with MT with similar power output as Mazda3 and CX-30 would best match the car; as much as I have always dreamed of a rotary powered RX-5.That said, the Miata that I actually liked and driven the most was NC. It was just practical enough and comfortable enough over long distance that I can actually use it as my DD/road trip vehicle without losing the lightweight nimble feeling. ND as nice as it is lost some of that IMHO.The only other thing I'd like would be the new MazdaConnect which is so much nicer, and a less angry face.