Rental Review: 2017 Chevrolet Suburban LT - It Definitely Ain't Broke

When people saw me in the 2017 Chevrolet Suburban last week, resplendent in black-on-black leather, they typically had one of a few reactions:

“My God, why is that thing so big?”

“Why did you rent such a huge vehicle?”

“Roberto? Wait, you’re not my UberXL driver?”

In all three cases, they weren’t wrong to ask. When I stepped into the rental car garage at Miami International Airport this weekend, I was faced with three options.

1. Dodge Journey
2. Ford Expedition EL
3. Chevrolet Suburban LT

Having just recently rented the Expedition in Raleigh, and not ever wanting to put myself through the joyless exercise of driving a Journey again, I opted for the mighty GM. It is, dare I say, an elegant vehicle, typically reserved for doing important things like shuttling the members of the President’s security detail around or picking up large groups of people from the airport (Hi, are you my UberXL? STILL NO). It’s also one of the most expensive vehicles you’ll ever find on rental row — a Suburban LT, optioned exactly like mine, starts at $56,575 at your neighborhood Bowtie dealer.

It’s also one of the very few General Motors products that is universally regarded as being extremely well done. The Suburban has no competition, merely people who accidentally wandered into the neighboring Ford lot and somehow winded up buying an Expedition. The ‘Burb outsells the Expedition by a margin of over 2 to 1, and it didn’t take long for me to figure out why.

Space is plentiful throughout, which comes as no surprise. What was somewhat surprising, however, was the quality of material throughout the cabin. While GM seems challenged with interiors on passenger cars, it seems to get it right in the larger, BOF SUVs. The leather seating surfaces combined a sense of luxury with impressive durability — my rental had over 20k miles on the clock, but one would never have known it from the degree of interior wear. Chevy gets this right in the same way that Ford gets it so very, very wrong. An Expedition with 20,000 miles looks like it’s done time fighting ISIS. Not so with the Suburban.

Forward visibility from the driver’s seat leaves much to be desired. The rather vertical and surprisingly small windshield, combined with the massive hood, means items have a tendency to simply disappear in front of the Suburban. While my rental was equipped with front and rear parking assist, my Generation X eyes still want to be able to see any potential obstacles.

The Suburban offers that just-right combination of old-world reliability and functionality with a dash of modern technology. While Apple CarPlay was a bit fussy in my rental (only worked with one of two USB ports, and only then after unplugging and replugging the cable a few times), it’s a pleasant addition to the rest of the Suburban’s dash, which mostly looks like, well, this:

The Suburban has one of the more archaic dashboards in any vehicle that can be purchased in 2017. This wouldn’t be quite so odd except for the fact that the Suburban/Tahoe/Escalade Holy Trinity underwent a redesign in 2015. If I airlifted you directly into the driver’s chair, you might suspect that the big Chevy was actually a 2007 model, not a 2017. Everything from the dials to the transmission selector on the steering rack just seems a tad archaic.

However, as I mentioned above, this feels just right. It all works, in a manner that horse farm owners and livery drivers alike have become accustomed to over the last two decades. Using the stalk to place the six-speed automatic transmission into Drive creates a thunk that can only be described as “satisfying.” When mated with the direct-injected, Bozi Tatarevic-Approved® EcoTec3 5.3-liter V8, the transmission never seems to find itself in the wrong gear. Grunt and power are instantly available throughout the powerband, thanks to a 355 horsepower rating and 383 lb-ft of torque.

Unfortunately, there are a few other thunks to be found when driving the Suburban, and they come directly from the suspension. My rental example was not equipped with the optional Premium Ride Suspension, and as such, every speed bump was met with an audible “oof” from the guts of any and all passengers. On the relatively decent roads of Miami-Dade County, this is an inconvenience. In Detroit, it would cause curvature of the spine.

It goes without saying, of course, that the Suburban is downright gargantuan, and when trying to navigate urban streets and highways, the driver feels every inch of its size. Lane Change Alert, along with Lane Keep Assist, both got a serious workout in SoFlo. While Miami is no New York when it comes to Urban Traffic Combat, the Suburban can only make headway in the city by announcing its intention with a brief turn signal, and then by making an obvious, purposeful move into an adjoining lane while other drivers scatter. In Miami, nobody lets you in. The Suburban lets itself in, taking its rightful place at the top of the food chain amongst the glittering luxury vehicles.

The combined fuel economy this rental saw over the course of its life was 17.3 mpg, and I didn’t fare much better, averaging about 18.5 mpg around the streets of South Florida. To be fair, this is roughly the gas mileage I get out of my Ford Focus RS, which has almost exactly the same amount of power and isn’t shoving around nearly as much weight.

I cannot overstate, though, just how visually impressive I found the Suburban to be. If only GM could get the rest of its lineup to be this right. It’s masculine, but not toxic. It’s subtle, but it has presence. It looks equally at home in front of the EPIC Hotel and Keeneland Race Course. Panel gaps are nonexistent. Paint quality is flawless. Exterior accents are tasteful. The only thing my rental needed to look even better was a less utilitarian wheel selection, and Chevrolet has no shortage of optional wheels from which the potential Suburban intender may choose. If the Chevrolet SS had looked more like a Suburban, and less like a Cruze, maybe it would be on its way to a second generation instead of oblivion.

As a matter of fact, as I’ve said before, if GM could do passenger cars as well as it does full-sized trucks, it would be king of the automotive hill. The Suburban is expensive, yes, but it’s a halo vehicle, and halo vehicles should be expensive. Furthermore, that fifty large will prove to be money well spent when you’re still driving it fifteen years from now. The Suburban is the pinnacle of vehicles that TTAC readers have been saying for years that they want — low key, understated but excellent, the ultimate Q ship. It’s the chosen method of transport for the truly wealthy in Flyover Country.

Yes, there are some outdated bits, and the base suspension is not pleasant, but there’s a reason that a Suburban from 2017 functions and looks much like a Suburban from 1997. As the saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

And the Chevrolet Suburban definitely ain’t broke. I love it.

[Images: Mark “Bark M.” Baruth/The Truth About Cars]