QOTD: Whose Lunch Will the Jeep Wrangler Pickup Be Eating?

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth
qotd whose lunch will the jeep wrangler pickup be eating

Time to eat my words. Two years ago, I said the real reason there’s no Jeep pickup is this: A Jeep and a pickup are the same thing. I was wrong. The JL Wrangler Pickup is apparently a sure thing, although I’ll believe the existence of a two-door version when I see it in showrooms.

Let’s assume for a moment that Jeep will start by selling a four-door Wrangler with a 6.5 foot bed, pretty much like all the mules that have been spotted running around. Where will the volume for this vehicle originate? And how much of that volume will there be?

My prediction, which could easily be just as flawed as my previous one on this subject, says that Jeep will sell 50,000 pickups a year and that the conquests will be:

  • 50 percent Wrangler owners and intenders who would have purchased a four-door Unlimited if the “Scrambler” had not been available.
  • 25 percent Boomer-aged pickup-truck owners looking to downsize without shame.
  • 15 percent Colorado Z71/Raptor/RAM Rebel intenders who want something for the oft-delayed day when they finally make it out to the dunes.
  • 10 percent Zoolander glampers who are currently driving Outbacks.

I should explain the “Zoolander glampers” category. There’s a certain kind of Millennial who exists primarily to babble on social media about all the SUPER OUTDOORSY STUFF he’s doing with the money he got from his trust-fund/tech-job/revenue-saved-by-screwing-his-best-friend-out-of-health-benefits-to-score-points-with-his-website-angel-investor.

These guys love having drum circles in National Parks, carrying four different overcomplicated knives on their person at all times, and rubbing their knuckles on sidewalks so it looks like they’ve been in street fights. The ur-example of the type is a guy on the Internet who calls himself “InexplicablyMild” or something like that and who is basically Derek Zoolander with some carefully cultivated stubble, right up to the self-conscious “Blue Steel” look in every photo. Anyway, these people have managed to make a conspicuous consumption exercise out of all the activities everybody’s farmer uncle did on the weekends by himself, like hunting and hiking. The Subaru Outback used to be standard equipment for these berks but I suspect that a lot of them will move to the Wrangler pickup. It can hold two sweet mountain bikes and a wakeboard!

All of the above is subject to an uncomfortable conflict with reality. The JL Scrambler could end up cannibalizing 250,000 RAM 1500 sales every year. Hard to say. I’m not going to say anything definite. Fool me twice… won’t get fooled again!

[Image: Off-Road.com]

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3 of 103 comments
  • Robert McIntyre Robert McIntyre on Oct 16, 2017

    Pretty sure I will just laugh constantly, keep driving my fully modded 89'Comanche and think about all the money I am saving.

    • Vulpine Vulpine on Oct 17, 2017

      I just read the Users Guide and Owner's Manual for the 2018 JL Wrangler and the tech in the thing looks amazing. Considering the truck is based on these models, I fully expect it will carry much of the same tech. I can hardly wait to see how they will perform on the road and in the dirt.

  • Weskyvet Weskyvet on Oct 22, 2017

    I see this as a Colorado, Canyon, Tacoma, and Frontier fighter. Depending on how they option it out the Rubicon (if present) will go up against the ZR-2 Colorado and TRD Tacomas but with Jeep being more a rock crawler type off roader than a dune blaster it won't really be able to match those two among buyers with that purpose in mind. As a side note I'm actually hoping this leads to the return of the J10, J20, and Gladiator trucks as well. Those would put FCA right where they need to be in the truck market and since Jeep is about the only company still putting out stripper models with roll up windows and no power anything in their base SUVs that's make similarly equipped trucks fleet monsters if they have the utility to back up their names. Then again I am a Jeep nut soooo I could just be going all fanboi over it.

  • Akear The Prius outsells all GM EVs combined, which is really not saying much.
  • Akear The sad truth is the only vehicle FCA sold that broke the 200,000 sales barrier was the 200. I rented one and found it impressive. It is certainly better than the Renegade. At this point I would buy a used 200 over a Renegade. Who in their right mind would buy a Renegade?
  • Akear I just realized 80% of these EV vehicles producers are going to be liquidated within the next five years. It is not possible to survive by selling only 3000 vehicles a year. This reminds me of the dot.com bust of the late 90s and early 2000s. Those who don't learn from history repeat it.
  • 3SpeedAutomatic I drove a rental Renegade a few years back. Felt the engine (TIgerShark) was ready was ready to pop out from under the hood. Very crude!! Sole purpose was CAFE offsets. Also drove a V6 Cherokee which was very nice and currently out of production. Should be able to scoop up one at a fair deal.🚗🚗🚗
  • Inside Looking Out This is actually the answer to the question I asked not that long ago.