By on February 3, 2017

Does anyone else miss those innocent days before YouTube? Back when we had to wait for the actual Super Bowl to watch our beloved Super Bowl commercials?

Nowadays, there’s pretty much no reason whatsoever to watch the game.

Let’s take a look at the commercials, in alphabetical order by automaker.

Audi

Audi makes a case for equal pay and equal treatment with a classic soapbox derby. Or not. However, if dad’s driving an A5, wouldn’t you think he’d spring for a more appropriate helmet for his precious kid?


Buick

For the second year in a row, Buick pairs a football star and a supermodel. Considering the Audi commercial above, we wonder who got paid more. Oh, and there are brief views of Buicks that no one believes are Buicks. This shtick was tired when Buick first tried it.


Ford

Ford goes all in on their transition from “automaker” to “mobility solutions provider.”

We think they still make cars, though.

The spot is voiced by Bryan Cranston, the world’s most famous Aztek driver. Seems the Pontiac money has dried up.


Ford Service

Interestingly, Ford is using Dwayne Johnson to promote its service departments. After all, Ford needs you to Fix Or Repair Daily so it can keep its 35,000 techs off the street.


Honda

Honda has animated several high school yearbook photos of celebrities, including Tina Fey, Robert Redford, Magic Johnson, and Steve Carell, to talk about the #powerofdreams. And, of course, they’re all dreaming of the new CR-V.


Hyundai

Hyundai is changing things up for Super Bowl 51 by filming its ad during the game then airing it between the end of the game and the trophy ceremony. It’s also working to support active military members overseas to make them part of the game action, as teased here by two legendary football heroes


Kia

Melissa McCarthy is not your typical Super Bowl spokesmodel, but there’s no denying her comedic talents. She’s using them to full effect while doing her part for the betterment of humankind while driving the all-new Niro hybrid CUV.


Lexus

Lexus is using the Super Bowl to launch the wild, new LC by having remarkably flexible dancers prance adjacent to, and occasionally inside, the new sports coupe.


Mercedes-AMG

Mercedes-Benz went all out by using the Coen Brothers to film a brief commercial inspired by the classic film “Easy Rider.” Considering the directors, we wonder if Mr. Fonda was pressured to buy the TruCoat.


Toyota

Toyota isn’t advertising nationwide for this year’s Big Game, just in Los Angeles and San Francisco as its new hydrogen-powered Mirai is solely sold in California for now.

Certainly, more commercials will be coming over the next couple days, and some will likely be complete surprises. Tune in Monday for the stuff we had to watch the game to catch.

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27 Comments on “Super Bowl 51 Pre-Game Commercial Round-Up...”


  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Deflators for the 6th? time vs NFC team I don’t care about. Pass.

    Are you not entertained, proles?

    • 0 avatar
      PrincipalDan

      Browns fan here – still mad that Belichick didn’t cheat more effectively when he was our coach (1991-1995.)

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      Friday controversial statement/question (rhetorical) of the day:

      Who THE F*CK watches professional basketball games? I get watching NFL games, and the Super Bowl, even if it’s not what it once was (and it’s not – Steel Curtain, anyone? Saturation from a greedy-a$$ league with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday games) as it’s another excuse to imbibe and eat like a slob (the real national pastimes), but who THE F*CK watches professional basketball?

      Jack wants to talk about million-mile Lexuses (Lexi? Lexus’?) and Kia Accents, and Costco vs Dollar Stores, and Audi commercial-social messaging, but let us address the timely elephant in the corner.

    • 0 avatar
      FreedMike

      Shame that Derek Carr got hurt…I’d have liked to have seen the ***Oakland*** Raiders in it again.

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    THAT’S NOT A BUICK! Let’s not forget that for a short time they tried to use a tagline “The New Class of World Class.”

    Somebody get Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce on the phone and get a better tagline.

  • avatar
    threeer

    None of which make me, you know…want to go out and buy one of their vehicles!

    Random thoughts: The Cam Newton spot is rubbing me wrong a bit seeing him push around the little tikes (it’s supposed to be funny, I know…) and that Buick has turned into an outlet for foreign-made metal (German-built Cascada and Korean-built Encore. Which leads to…

    the irony that a Korean-based company is showcasing American service members (which I am damn proud of…and they deserve the spotlight).

    And the Ford spot just makes me weep for the future of driving somehow…

  • avatar
    ajla

    It’s fun how Buick sh*ts all over former fans and 100+ years of history to peddle it’s Opel egg cars and $38K Chinese-built CUVs.

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    I hear the Budweiser Frogs are coming back. This can only mean one thing: a foreign-based NWO anarchist/Marxist plot to sap and impurify all our precious bodily fluids.

    Before you know it, all men will be banished to a large, white room in which we have to produce sperm for lesbians to conceive with, which might be difficult considering said sapped and impurified bodily fluids.

    Oh, yeah, and there are short black people in the background.

    I’m triggered.

  • avatar
    dougjp

    Mercedes ad is great, all the others are junk.

    • 0 avatar
      JSF22

      @dougjp,

      Absolutely agree with you. If the purpose of advertising is still sort of to make me want to consider the product, or even contemplate doing business with the company, that’s the only one that succeeds with me. The only other remotely clever one is the Honda yearbook, though “the power of dreams” is totally irrelevant to their snoozer cars. And a crooked company like Audi hectoring me about equal pay for equal work? Post your employee salary list and let’s take a look.

  • avatar
    OldManPants

    Yay Audi! What a sweet ad!

    Go Daughter! Smite the Deplorables :-D

    (It has cello in it. Superior people love cello.)

  • avatar
    RobbieAZ

    I’ve never gotten the hype about Super Bowl commercials. They’re still just commercials, annoying breaks in the action, something to be endured while waiting for the program content to return. After a Netflix binge watching session it’s always a drag to return to regular TV and have to put up with those damn commercials every few minutes. It’s one reason we watch very little regular TV (the other is that it’s mostly crap).

  • avatar
    GS 455

    When you look at yearbooks of people who graduated before you they still look older than you even when you’re in your 40s or 50s. And Ford didn’t help that cat get the box off it’s head. #fail

  • avatar
    AJ

    No interest in watching. Think I’ll instead go into the garage and work on my Jeep.

  • avatar
    Syke

    I’ll probably watch some of the game, but once “Mercy Street”, “Victoria” and “Six Wives of Henry the Eighth” come on I’m switching over to PBS. Since The Cheaters are playing (and the Steelers aren’t) I have absolutely no interest in what happens on the field

    Enjoyed the Kia ad, always get a giggle when you can have fun with political correctness. Peter Fonda and Mercedes got a good laugh out of me – it’s more accurate than you’d think. Otherwise, meh.

    Nothing even comes close to Audi’s “Starman” ad from last year’s Super Bowl. Which I consider one of the two or three greatest car commercials ever done.

  • avatar
    Panther Platform

    In part because I’m almost 60 years old I too hate how Buick sh.ts all over and denigrates their older cars. God forbid anything is marketed for someone other than Taylor Swift or Beyoncé fans.


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