Freaky Friday: Man Discovers His 2014 Jetta's Street Value is Much Higher Than Blue Book

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Have you ever bought a secondhand car, only to find the previous owner forgot his or her favorite CD in the stereo? Well, that didn’t happen to a Kentucky man.

That Volkswagen owner’s discovery is just one of the weird news stories arising from a polar vortex-plagued world. Elsewhere, officials warn of mammal tongue baths, and a politician practices bad automotive PR.

The Mexican Connection

A Northern Kentucky resident scored more than just a great deal when he purchased a 2014 Volkswagen Jetta at McCluskey Automotive in Colerain Township, Ohio.

After two weeks of Jetta bliss, the new owner — who told WCPO Cincinnati he didn’t want to be identified — grew concerned over a mysterious rattle emanating from under the front passenger seat. Upon closer inspection, the man discovered the odd noise wasn’t the result of a dead animal or structural defect. Instead, it was a secret compartment containing $130,000 of Mexican cartel heroin.

That’s just over two pounds’ worth.

According to local police, the vehicle was seized by the Ohio State Highway Patrol eight months ago, where authorities found nearly seven pounds of heroin in it. At the time, the Jetta was in the hands of ex-Mexican Highway Patrol officer Rolf Kruger, who was coerced into running drugs across the States. From the impound lot, the Jetta made its way to the Columbus Fair Auto Auction.

McCluskey Automotive has since taken back the car, now worth far less than it was two weeks prior.

Get Your Mouth Off My Journey

From north of the border comes yet another stereotypically Canadian story.

The Alberta government has issued a warning to drivers to be on alert for tongues eagerly lapping at the sides of their vehicles. The muscular appendages, in this case, belong to moose, especially those found in Peter Lougheed Provincial Park, southwest of Calgary.

Mountainous splendor and pristine wilderness is nice, but these moose want your car. Or more specifically, what’s coating it. Liberal use of road salt means a rolling buffet for local moose, who turn up in parking lots like its an after-work function at Ponderosa. To keep visitors safe during “car-licking season,” the government has issued an important bulletin.

According to the Toronto Star, part of the statement reads, “Do not attempt to push moose away from your vehicle while on foot.”

Sound advice for everyone.

Falling for You

Optics can’t sink ships, but they’ve deep-sixed careers since the invention of the career.

Weathermen aren’t supposed to be overheard saying, “Those bastards deserve the cold,” nor are university administrators supposed to go on record claiming, “We even accept the dumb ones.”

Well, if you’re the United Kingdom’s transportation secretary, you probably shouldn’t be videotaped hitting a cyclist with your car door. Too bad for Chris Grayling. The Guardian has released video of the secretary knocking down a bike rider with the rear door of his parked Land Rover in October.

The incident between Grayling and Jaiqi Liu — who he apologized to — has seen politicians and residents take up opposing sides on the issue. While some have called for Grayling’s prosecution, the secretary’s colleagues likely just wish he hadn’t spoken out against cycling lanes.

[Images: Volkswagen of America; Wikipedia ( CC BY 2.0); Wikimedia Commons ( CC BY 2.0)]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • Lorenzo Lorenzo on Dec 18, 2016

    I was about to mention you made the same mistake the British make when they identify out Secretary of Defense as Defense Minister. Then I looked it up. Chris Grayling is the Secretary of State For Transport in the UK. Not quite "transportation secretary, but close enough. BTW, I've done what Grayling did, and I'm not ready to accuse him of anything yet. I looked in my side view mirror before opening the door, and in the time it took to grab a bag and pull the latch, a bicyclist had popped out from behind the parked car behind me and was right alongside me, traveling at a high rate of speed. A lot of bicyclists weave in and out, close to the curb and then out alongside parked cars. It's just a matter of bad timing to check your mirror and open the door, only to see a speeding cyclist who was invisible a second ago ram into the door.

  • MazdaThreeve MazdaThreeve on Dec 19, 2016

    "According to the Toronto Star, part of the statement reads, 'Do not attempt to push moose away from your vehicle while on foot.'" This sounds like fodder for the greatest warning sign in the history of motoring. I envision a stick figure on a yellow background pushing a stick figure moose. Cross-out over the whole thing.