Rental Review: 2016 Jeep Patriot Or Maybe Compass

Mark "Bark M." Baruth
by Mark "Bark M." Baruth
rental review 2016 jeep patriot or maybe compass

I rented a Jeep last week, and let me tell you, this thing was a Jeep. It defiantly looked like a Jeep. I could tell it was a Jeep because it said “Jeep” in many places, including right on the hood, which is just so Jeep. It wasn’t a Wrangler or a Grand Cherokee but it was a Jeep, to be sure.

To read about all the cool, wondrous, amazing, and super things this Jeep did, click the Jeep.

This is a picture of the inside of my hat which was American-made just like this Jeep. At least I assume the Jeep is made in America just like all Chrysler products. It was amazing in so many Jeepy ways. First of all, it had a steering wheel, which was good because it meant I could turn both left and right. I loved the freedom that gave me. Just knowing that I could choose any direction I wanted at intersections was enough to make me want to buy this very Jeepy Jeep. Unfortunately I will have to write many more reviews like this one and also work another job to someday afford this iconic vehicle.

I also enjoyed the gas pedal, because when I pressed it, the car became very loud. This was exciting! I don’t know if it had a regular automatic or a CVT (which a Jeep engineer told me stands for “Continuously Variable Transmission”) but it was defiantly loud. Even though the Jeep wasn’t very fast this loud sound made it seem very fast. I would say it was slower than a Porsche but probably as fast as all other cars.

It was sunny that day so these pictures didn’t come out good. But I did notice in this picture that the Jeep did not have a USB port which made it difficult to charge my iPhone 4 that I normally use to take the pictures of cars. I did pair my phone with Bluetooth though, which is this amazing tech that lets you talk without holding your phone. It worked about half the time which was great. Pairing was an easy process that only took seven steps.

There were lots of little bits of black plastic throughout the interior where buttons normally are which I assume means that I could bring this new Jeep back to the dealership and get more cool buttons put in at a later time. I liked how simple the stereo was — I couldn’t even tell what song was playing from my phone, which helped me stay focused on the road and maybe only look at my video camera five or six times. That reminds me I did a video review but I accidentally deleted it from my SD card.

I took this picture in front of this rock because that’s how driving this Jeep makes me feel — like a fully erect man. Using the 4X4 to go the Whole Foods was great — it handled the speed bumps like a trail rated Jeep even though it didn’t have the badge that makes it trail rated so I guess it probably isn’t. Even so it felt just like driving a Wrangler Unlimited through the Sahara especially when I spilled my Wildberry Smoothie. The steel wheels made it look manly and tough and also Jeepish.

I accidentally took this picture while I was playing Pokemon GO.

This Jeep costs somewhere between $17,695 and $50,134. Whatever it costs it is a good value especially when it is delivered to your front door by a truck with a trailer.

So to sum up this Jeep is defiantly a Jeep that does Jeep things in Jeep ways. If you want a Jeep you defiantly either want this or maybe another Jeep. Tell us what you think of this Jeep in the comments below! Jeep!

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  • Art Vandelay Art Vandelay on Aug 07, 2016

    Bark should be required to watch BIGTRUCKS reviews on youtube for a week straight for subjecting me to this nonsense.

  • NewsLynne NewsLynne on Aug 07, 2016

    Enterprise, home of the muddling choices, offered me one of these or a choice between a baby blue or red VW Beetle.

  • Michael Dalia My first car was a 1966 Pontiac Lemans. I also owned a 1972 Catalina and an 1988 6000LE. Currently I drive a 2007 G6 GT convertible which which I love and probably will have until I can no longer drive. Pontiacs are great!
  • Damage The mobile TV is a hoot. There wasn't a single thing on TV in the 70s that was good enough to justify the trouble and expense of putting a TV in your truck.
  • Theflyersfan As a kid, a neighbor had one of these full-sized conversion vans with the TV and wet bar in the back. And it was so cool to go in - as a kid it was, driving it had to be terror at times with blind spots, iffy power and brakes, and the feeling that you're hauling your living room with you! Kids of the 1970s and 1980s had this experience. Afterwards with minivans and then CUV everything, not so much.And I'm crushed that a 1977 van doesn't have some kind of mural on the sides. Coyote howling at the moon, American flag, Confederate flag, bright stripes, something! You can't have a 1970's era van with plain sides! At least a "Don't Laugh. Your daughter's in here" bumper sticker on the back. I always get a Gacy or Bundy vibe with these vans...
  • Jeff S In the EV market Tesla is not a niche player it is the major player. According to the latest data of the California-based vehicle valuation and automotive research company  Kelley Blue Book, Tesla has the lion’s share with 75 percent market share in  the electric vehicle market in the first three months of 2022.Tesla has dominated the electric vehicle market for years in the United States. The electric vehicles manufactured by Tesla accounted for 79 percent of the new electric vehicles registered in the United States in 2020 and 69,95 percent in 2021. The decrease in the market share in 2021 might be explained by backlogs and the global chip shortage, but the company is ramping up its sales and has already increased its market share to 75 percent in the first quarter of the year. According to Kelley Blue Book, the top 10 EVs sold in the US in the first quarter of 2022 are;[list=1][*]Tesla Model Y[/*][*]Tesla Model 3[/*][*]Ford Mustang Mach-E[/*][*]Tesla Model X[/*][*]Hyundai Ioniq 5[/*][*]Kia EV6[/*][*]Tesla Model S[/*][*]Nissan Leaf[/*][*]Kia Niro[/*][*]Audi e-Tron[/*][/list=1]Tesla has delivered 310,048 vehicles in the first quarter of 2022, another first-quarter record. The success of Tesla is proven once again as the company has three electric cars in the top 10 most selling electric vehicles in the United States, while no other manufacturer has even two different models on the list.Tesla leads all others, selling slightly over 936,000 units in 2021. This gave the company a market share of nearly 14%.Mar 30, 2022
  • Jeff S I did not know Plymouth had a full size van prior to the mini vans. I did know about the Plymouth pickups and the Trail Duster.