By on April 15, 2016

russia dashcam

If you’re planning a road trip this weekend, take a few pointers from this Russian dashcam video on how not to merge.

Everyone knows Russians are unable sustain injury on the roadways (or so it would seem), but this fact wasn’t known until videos started rolling in from the insurance fraud-prone country. Their problems are our gain, however, as these misadventures from the land of Putin and honey hold valuable road safety lessons.

Take this encounter on a highway full of stop-and-go traffic, for example. We’ve got one guy in the slow-moving left lane driving a Toyota Sienna minivan, and another in a previous generation Mazda 3 who really wants into the lane.

Waiting for a friendly driver to give him an opening would have kept a lid on commuting tempers, instead, we get the motorist equivalent of an H-bomb blast in Novaya Zemlya:

It’s too bad there’s no sound on the grainy video — not only are we losing some context, we’re likely missing out on some bouncy pop music.

The Mazda driver doesn’t have an opening when he tries, and fails, to scoot in front of the Toyota. A nice driver gives him space to merge, but now he’s steamed like a beet salad. He hits the throttle in pursuit of the minivan, and although we can’t see if he taps the guy’s rear bumper, they both come to a sudden halt at the exact same time.

Then it’s on. The minivan driver lays into him like Boris Yeltsin at wine tasting. After a brief tangle and (no doubt) some eye-watering Russian curse words, the minivan driver heads back to his vehicle, with the Mazda driver still simmering like a fresh pot of borsch. Just when you think it’s over, the minivan driver heads back for Round 2, clearly motivated by the Mazda driver’s chirping.

Minivan guy gets in a kick, but it’s more to distance himself from Mazda guy, who follows up with a right hook. The show continues for the viewing audience until both men lower their flags and retreat. Like the Battle of Hampton Roads, this one’a draw, and life returns to normal on the streets and freeways of Russia.

The takeaway? Wait for a real opening when merging, don’t take out your rage on another vehicle, don’t mouth off after already being attacked, and always buckle up, because that’s just a safe thing to do.

Armed with these easy tips, your weekend promises to be as relaxing as a guesthouse stay on the Black Sea.

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31 Comments on “From Russia With Fisticuffs: Bad Merging Leads to Rocky IV Reenactment...”


  • avatar
    eamiller

    Paging DeadWeight. Your prognostications are coming true!

    • 0 avatar
      CarnotCycle

      And how. Haven’t watched vid, but what are odds there’s a Lada in it somewheres?

      • 0 avatar
        twotone

        I lived and worked in Moscow for five years and saw this on a daily basis. My car was a Lada Zhiguli 06 — the biggest POS car ever, but did not attract any unwanted attention. The best of Italian engineering (Fiat) with the best of Russian quality control (Lada).

      • 0 avatar
        cwallace

        There are two in there, a red sedan and a silver wagon.

        In my experience, Russians are both quick to fight, and quick to stop. Those two are probably best friends now.

      • 0 avatar
        CoreyDL

        There was one, a wagon in the center lane. Ha.

    • 0 avatar
      DeadWeight

      “Paging DeadWeight. Your prognostications are coming true!”

      And how.

      The JALOPNIK-IFICATION of TTAC COMES CLOSER WITH EACH PASSING DAY.

      Next up on TTAC!!!:

      ***Why buy this Honda CR-V for $24,785.93 when that same money can get you a One Owner, CPO, Low Mileage 2011 Mercedes-Benz E350 4MATIC??!!!***

      • 0 avatar

        NOPE NOPE NOPE
        Why referring to a car as her is sexist and needs to stop.

        • 0 avatar
          DeadWeight

          TTAC Presents: “Why Lena Dunham is the new face of the new automotive industry.”

          “White privilege and the auto purchasing process.”

          “What Bill Cosby, Jeffrey Dahmer & Martin Shkreli all have in common in terms of automobiles.”

          “Watch these F-18 Hornets re-fuel over the Spratly Islands.”

          “Luxury vehicle deserts in the inner cities.”

        • 0 avatar
          twotone

          In Russian, car is машина and is a feminine gender noun.

          • 0 avatar
            Chets Jalopy

            Gadzooks, Dead Weight! Those are some killer pretty good story ideas. Your posts are always entertaining. As the resident frown of this site, it would be interesting if you penned a few 1000 word columns for our collective enjoyment. It’s time to come off the sidelines and give ‘er heck. Step out of the underground and into the light at the top of the page. Lay bare for us the Truths of the auto industry as you see it. Or maybe dust off that yellowing manifesto in the top desk drawer. Feed it to us in dribbling bits of furrowed brow disillusionment. Or something.

  • avatar

    IN SOVIET RUSSIA: TTAC does reviews of new cars

  • avatar

    Around some parts of America you can get shot just for blowing your horn at the next guy.

    I’m actually amazed this didn’t devolve into a shooting.

    Why throw kicks if you’re gonna be lazy about it?

    • 0 avatar
      stuki

      Throwing some punches is not nearly the big deal to Russians as it is to many Americans. It’s more of a way to just blow off some steam, and show that you’re willing to stand up for your side, than some deep seated desire to kill or maim the other guy.

      • 0 avatar
        burgersandbeer

        That’s exactly what I saw watching the video. Getting out of your car and throwing punches is an insanely hot-headed thing to do in the US, but this looked like it was part of the social contract. There was an air of restraint to the whole thing, almost like two friends/brothers who were really sick of each other.

        Who says this is idiocy? We learned about Russian culture today!

        • 0 avatar

          I learn Russian culture everytime HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER comes on (yesterday night).

          Not for me.

          MURICA is the only way to go.

          • 0 avatar
            VoGo

            I think the accents in that movie are more Scottish than Russian.

          • 0 avatar
            Synchromesh

            @bigtruckseriesreview: As somebody who comes originally from Russia allow me to express relief in many ways. I promise, they’re doing just fine without you over there.

            Also, guns are illegal in the old country (hunting rifles on limited basis notwithstanding). If they were to pull out guns there would be a major shooting because they’d be organized crime figures most likely.

  • avatar
    John

    Once again a mixture of testosterone and immaturity – just needed some folding knives to make the encounter perfect.

  • avatar
    Chris from Cali

    Hmmm, I was expecting more effective fisticuffs. More CroCop, less Paul Blart.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    But it would be OK to smash the rear window of a VW with a Nazi sticker?

    https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2016/04/decal-douchebags-fuhrerocious-sticker-adds-ten-white-horsepower/

    I get it now:
    Poor driving road rage = Bad
    Anti-Nazi road rage = Good

    … because the judge will understand.

    We’re exempt from Godwin’s Law today.

  • avatar
    Master Baiter

    As Adam Carolla said, Russians are the most screwed-up white people on the planet.
    .
    .

  • avatar
    phxmotor

    Plz…don’t bother us with such idiocy. Seriously… Don’t care…

  • avatar
    lubbock57

    Neither one of these guys is a hockey player.

  • avatar
    Corollaman

    This is the effect Putin is having on Russian society, a couple of years of Trump and we should be on the same boat.

  • avatar
    Joss

    Meh happens everywhere. Nothing new here.

  • avatar
    Von

    This click bait has been clicked on!

  • avatar
    bikephil

    Typical communist pigs. If Sanders is elected we will see this all over America before long.

    • 0 avatar
      Drzhivago138

      And Poe’s Law had to be invoked yet again. But just in case you were serious: I’d like to hear what reasoning led you to that conclusion. It sounds like it’d be pretty…interesting. Let’s go with interesting.

      • 0 avatar
        PeriSoft

        If there’s one thing those hippy-dippy liberal pansies are known for, it’s getting in manly fist fights over perceived slights, right? Settling their differences in the streets? RIGHT?!!

        Wait…

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