Crapwagon Outtake: 1994 Rover Mini

Chris Tonn
by Chris Tonn
crapwagon outtake 1994 rover mini

I’ve not yet had the pleasure of driving a classic Mini. Residing in Ohio, this isn’t altogether surprising, as the climate has not been kind to many older cars. Also, there’s the problem of not being able to actually fit. Someday, though, I need to give it a try.

With a production run spanning six decades, there are likely many Minis still seeing use as daily drivers in the UK. Like any other ubiquitous car, then, these are subject to the whims of the owners looking to give their rides some additional personality.

As it seems there are no Pep Boys in England, questionable modifications must come from other sources.

Today’s 1994 Rover Mini has been treated to an unusual rhinoplasty, using a donor grille and headlamps from an older Mercedes-Benz sedan. It’s in England, though the eBay listing is in US dollars. And it’s too new to import here, though I’m sure some enterprising lunatic might try to bring it over anyhow, thinking it’s some oddball limited edition worth a pile of cash.

After all, the brands of the former BMC/BLMC have been through so many hands that Daimler might have had some corporate ownership at some point, and we’ve just forgotten. The old-new Mini (R53 generation) had a engine built in a BMW/Chrysler joint-venture in Brazil, and Daimler owned Chrysler for a time. This could have been a result.

Or some bloke found some cool bits in a scrapyard and fitted them to his daily driver in an attempt to stand out and get more money on resale.

My admittedly dreaming thought is a compact tribute to the legendary “Red Pig” Mercedes-Benz race car of the ’70s, as shown above. Call it a “Red Piglet” or something. Needs more AMG decals, though.

[Image: Mini, eBay user mountainminis; Benz, By Jiří Sedláček (Own work) [ CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons]

Chris Tonn is a broke classic car enthusiast that writes about old cars, since he can’t afford to buy them. Commiserate with him on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.

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4 of 29 comments
  • Spike_in_Brisbane Spike_in_Brisbane on Mar 07, 2016

    I had a work colleague who was 6'7". He owned a mini and said it was one of the few cars he could comfortably drive because the drivers seat just kept going back and the straight arms/legs driving position was not compromised by this. P.S. The mini was a great car compared to the Hillman Imp.

  • ExPatBrit ExPatBrit on Mar 07, 2016

    Daimler cars were built in the UK prior to WWII it was a UK company.They just licensed the Daimler name. Queen Elizabeth used to schlep around in a Daimler DS 420 Limousine. Daimler double six was a dressed up Jaguar XJ12 and was built by Leyland who also built the mini. It does look awful!

  • Redapple2 Why does anyone have to get permission to join? Shouldnt the rules to race in a league be straight forward like. Build the car to the specs. Pay the race entry fee. Set the starting grid base on time trials.?Why all the BS?I cant watch F1 any more. No refuel. Must use 2 different types of tires. Rare passing. Same team wins every week. DRS only is you are this close and on and on with more BS. Add in the skysports announcer that sounds he is yelling for the whole 90 minutes at super fast speed. I m done. IMSA only for me.
  • Redapple2 Barra at evil GM is not worth 20 mill/ yr but dozens (hundreds) of sports players are. Got it. OK.
  • Dusterdude @SCE to AUX , agree CEO pay would equate to a nominal amount if split amongst all UAW members . My point was optics are bad , both total compensation and % increases . IE for example if Mary Barra was paid $10 million including merit bonuses , is that really underpaid ?
  • ToolGuy "At risk of oversimplification, a heat pump takes ambient air, compresses it, and then uses the condenser’s heat to warm up the air it just grabbed from outside."• This description seems fairly dramatically wrong to me.
  • SCE to AUX The UAW may win the battle, but it will lose the war.The mfrs will never agree to job protections, and production outsourcing will match any pay increases won by the union.With most US market cars not produced by Detroit, how many people really care about this strike?