By on January 21, 2016

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If loving Texas is Rong, I don’t want to be right. I’m referring, of course, to my pal Blake Z. Rong, who currently lives in, and sort of loves, the Lone Star State.

One of the best (or worst) parts of living in Texas is the unhealthy codependency between the people who live there and the trucks they can barely afford and never use for trucky things but insist on owning anyway. The bond between Texans and their ridiculously-appointed Cowboy Cadillacs is so strong that all of the full-size purveyors offer a Texas-focused variant that slathers bling and chrome on an otherwise affordable half-ton.

We’re talking RAM BigHorn, Nissan Texas Titan, GMC Sierra Texas Value SLE, Tundra Texas Edition, and, of course, the Chevrolet Silverado Texas Edition. If you are in Texas, and your Silverado is not a Texas Edition … well, I don’t know what to say other than that you clearly have no sense of decency. But fear not. Thanks to the aforementioned Mr. Rong, I’m here to make it right. Ten lucky TTAC readers are going to have a chance to upgrade their rides to a TEXAS EDITION, at my cost. Is there a catch? Of course there is!


Blake clued me into the fact that “OEM MADE IN USA TEXAS EDITION BADGES” are available from Chinese vendors for as little as $2.81 each. Interestingly enough, I can’t find actual USA-made TEXAS EDITION badges anywhere. Not that it would be a huge surprise if GM had the badges made in China; after all, the wheels on the C6 Z06 and the new C7 Stingray are Chinese-made. So I reached out to China and got me some. Let’s do an unboxing, because that’s a big thing nowadays among people whose primary exposure to the human vagina comes from Reddit Gone Wild Plus Size:

texas1

Here’s the box, shipped to me from somewhere deep in the interior of China in just seventeen days.

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And here’s the box. When I opened it, I half expected to find a note saying “HELP I’M BEING HELD IN ROPE BONDAGE BY SOME CREEPY OLD GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HITLER” but that was not, in fact, the case.

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Ladies (yeah, right) and gentlemen, this is the kind of real Texas pride that can only come from Guangdong (formerly known as Canton, you racists) where the trucks are as tall as the sky.

20160120_203439

And here they are: all the TEXAS EDITION badges you can possibly handle. And I want to give them to you, dear reader. But I have literally almost three dollars into each one of them, plus shipping to your mom’s house, so I need to know that you’re going to do something awesome with whatever badge I send you. So here are the rules:

  • You come up with a destination for your TEXAS EDITION badge, and post it in this thread. The more ridiculous and offensive, the better.
  • Good ideas: your compact truck or Japanese car.
  • Better idea: your race car.
  • Even better idea: your exotic car.
  • A brave idea: a cop car.
  • Best idea of all: a video of you surreptitiously putting the thing on some dicknozzle’s new-money 458 Italia or Bentley Flying Spur.
  • Idea that won’t happen, no matter how much I’d fancy it: a badge stuck to your girlfriend’s impressive bare chest. (Or yours, I suppose.)
  • I’ll select ten “winners” and contact you to arrange delivery.
  • Then you’ll fulfill your promise and send a photo.
  • Which I will put up on this site.

The first five people to actually do what they say they’re going to do with their TEXAS EDITION badges will receive a free T-shirt commemorating our disastrous attempt to race a 450SLC without a rollcage in … Texas, of course!

Gentlemen, you have your mission. Post your best ideas — and prepare to receive a taste of TEXAS.

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209 Comments on “You Get One Guess As To Where ‘TEXAS EDITION’ Badges Come From — And I’m Going To Give You One Of Them...”


  • avatar
    Hummer

    They would go great on a snow mobile.

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    I’d try to get in on this but my wife is a born and raised New Mexican with a deep generationally ingrained hatred of the Lone Star State.

  • avatar

    I wonder how hard it would be to get one of the Presidential candidates to slap one of those on his campaign bus? I’d think most of them would do just about anything to get a vote.

    • 0 avatar
      PrincipalDan

      Cruz would do it without blinking but then I’d want a decal with Donald Trump as Calvin peeing on the “Texas Edition” badge.

      • 0 avatar

        My best laugh of the day so far, PrincipalDan!

        Jack, please get me a Texas edition badge for my ’08 Civic (stick). I will proudly drive around the Peoples Republic of Cambridge wearing my “Pride in Tobacco” cap* from the Duke Estate (where cigarettes were first mass produced, and the original financier of what I like to call Cigarette University), and my rubber snake on the dash, with the cigarette in its mouth, flaunting the TeXas edition badge, being as politically incorrect as I can be without spewing black smoke.

        *I got two of them, gave one to the late Taughm Magliozzi (Click of Car TAlk, an avid cigar smoker). He loved it.

  • avatar
    GermanReliabilityMyth

    Slap that Texas-sized cafeteria tray on the trunk lid of my Volvo 940 Turbo Texas Edition. There’s just so much wrong with that statement.

    • 0 avatar
      Stumpaster

      Jack, ignore this imposter. I will place the badges, one on each side right where the Euro side blinker is usually installed as an aftermarket part, on my Volvo 240 DL. That car is totally plane Jane Volvo with all the trim pieces and hub cabs present and no peeling paint.

  • avatar
    Dirk Stigler

    I’d carry it around in my car on the off-chance that I run across the E90 M3 with “THXMOM” plates that I spotted at the trendy outdoor mall a couple years back. But that’s unlikely enough as to be a suboptimal use of your hard-bought China Edition badgery.

    Or maybe my braggy, verbosely Obama-supporting neighbor’s matched set of Caddy XTSs. Well, except I like my neighborhood and wouldn’t want to have to move…

  • avatar
    michal1980

    somewhere on my M235, but only for the photo op, might get some balls to hang below it as well.

    actually if I do that, I might leave it on.

  • avatar
    fleeno

    I think this needs to go on my three-year-old kid’s pink electric Hummer.

  • avatar
    Fard Barkle

    I’ve got a 216k mile ’05 Accord LX 4 pot with steelies and Hakkapeliittas that would look great with that badge in the snow

  • avatar
    jaydez

    I’m giving my son a Little Tykes pickup for his 2nd birthday in March. I think this would be perfect for the tail gate on it.

  • avatar
    Tinn-Can

    I have a first gen Mazda3 hatch and I live in Texas… It would probably end up on my gun safe door with all my other stickers and junk though…
    I’m pretty sure the local Sheriff would love these on their Tahoes too…

  • avatar
    62meteor

    On my Honda Ridgeline. Maybe then it will get the respect that it deserves.

    I will put it right next to my Harvard Farmer’s Market bumper sticker.

  • avatar
    cwallace

    I’ll stick that baby on my sweet, Straight Outta Kolkata edition Bajaj Chetak. I’m sure it’ll get me plenty of thumbs up from the drivers of whatever bro-dozers those things are supposed to be on down here in Houston.

  • avatar
    Wardotron

    One of those would look perfect on the rear hatch of my RenaultSport Clio 200. Not only is it French, but I’m a Limey! Maximum offence all round.

  • avatar
    leshnah

    OK, so I’m currently living in Leipzig, in redneck Deutschland, i.e. the East, former DDR city. That alone makes it ideal for this badge. But not only that: there’s a 4th Gen Firebird driving around, painted orange and with a strip of Confederate Flags all along its side. It’s a tasteful, well appointed car for Germany’s roads and Autobahns.
    If you send me one of this, I’ll do all I can to stick it it’s trunk or side!!

  • avatar
    Big Al from Oz

    Jack,
    I do believe I have the perfect “Texan Pickup” to place one of these wonderful Redneck badges on. The link at the bottom will give you guys and indication of what a real Texan pickup should look like.

    I own a Mazda BT50 GT. This is a high end leather (real leather) appointed vehicle, with all the bling and more than is necessary to take me my 10 minute drive from home to work everyday.

    It has in total 3″ of lift, Chinese manufactured CSA Jackal rims, shod with American (yes the US still manufactures) made BFG, 17″, 265 75s ATs. They look pretty and do well off road and not so well in the wet on road.

    Fitted with a bull bar, snorkel and all the necessary items for suburban driving in Texas.

    Here’s an image I found on the net, with the same rims, even the colour.

    http://bendigomazda.com.au/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/03/15-mazda-bt-50-dual-cab-utility-gt.png

    If I do actually recieve this patch I will take a photo and send it in to TTAC. I’m also willing to contribute a story of my next off road adventure in a few weeks. I’m also heading back to the US in a couple of months and will be willing to rent or hire as we do in Australia a Ford 2.7 EcoThirst and do an article of my perception of the vehicle.

    All this with the use of correct grammar and US spelling!

    http://bendigomazda.com.au/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/03/15-mazda-bt-50-dual-cab-utility-gt.png

  • avatar
    SC5door

    On the dashboard of a brand new Ford Taurus.

    I prefer not to get fired though; I’ll certainly call when I hit the lottery!

  • avatar
    kthooker

    I found my login just for this:

    “Ladies (yeah, right)….”

    Do you really think this was necessary or appropriate? I generally enjoy your articles, Mr. Baruth, however, I think you need to understand that there is a rather large female population who not only need a truck, but also desire a truck (badge included). I think your insinuation that “Ladies..” would have no interest or wouldn’t be in the market is both false and discriminatory. Please consider revising. I’m all for a joke among friends but this could have been handled better. I’d like to think you’re better than this.

    • 0 avatar
      VoGo

      A fair point from the fairer sex. But I have to wonder whether it would be taken more seriously if your login wasn’t Katie the Hooker.

      • 0 avatar
        kthooker

        Why do you automatically assume this comment must have been from “the fairer sex?” My first and middle name make up the (K)evin and T and the Hooker is my legal last name. The point stands. There is no reason to assume that women wouldn’t desire or need a truck even with the badge.

      • 0 avatar
        kthooker

        No apologizing is necessary for calling me by my name! Haha. I wear that badge proudly. The fun part? I also work at a company called “Gaye Chevrolet.”

    • 0 avatar
      USAFMech

      1/10, hooker. The “effort” of finding your login blew your cover. Troll harder. C’mon, it’s a car site – there has to be some real misogyny somewhere.

      • 0 avatar
        kthooker

        I disagree. Not a troll. Just honestly believe it was in bad taste. I understand it’s a car site, however, there are both male and female enthusiasts here (and on other sites.)

        • 0 avatar
          mike978

          No-one is saying women are not into trucks. But even you would have to admit men are disproportionality auto (and truck) enthusiasts.

          • 0 avatar
            VoGo

            Kevin,
            Sorry for calling you a hooker.

          • 0 avatar
            kthooker

            I agree with that. However, generalizing like he did can and will turn off a still large group of people. Women are an ever growing part of the automotive buying landscape and they are highly educated. The automotive and enthusiast landscape is always changing and there are more women coming into it than leaving it. Maybe they aren’t all for brute power. Maybe they are enthusiastic about battery technology or fuel economy. Maybe they do like power. But we as a community need to welcome them, not alienate them.

    • 0 avatar

      Reading comprehension fail.

      He’s saying we don’t have any female readers, which we know, from our demographic studies, to be true.

      • 0 avatar
        kthooker

        I will allow for the possibility that that is what he meant with his statement. The reality is that’s not what he said. It’s not a reading comprehension thing, it’s a he didn’t actually articulate that well thing. And even if you don’t currently have any female readers (which I find dubious) why would you want to alienate the potential for female readers to want to join this community?

        • 0 avatar

          http://www.roadandtrackmediakit.com/r5/showkiosk.asp?listing_id=4182496

          Road and Track, who is much better at measuring this sort of thing than we are, says they have about four percent female readership, and we are even more niche than they are.

          • 0 avatar

            Also, I went to a Jalopnik event two weeks ago. Jalopnik has the best reader community of any automotive site, bar none. Over 100 readers came. Care to guess how many females were there?

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            I’d guess three because someone must have brought a girlfriend.

          • 0 avatar
            kthooker

            Whether you have them or not, whether they come to events or not, they are out there. Why would you not want more readership? Different readership? A different take on things? Women can and do provide those things. Why not encourage it with your language instead of pushing it further away?

          • 0 avatar

            The answer is exactly zero.

            A website cannot be all things to all people. Women are welcomed here. However, they are not currently here. It was a joke that reflected the reality of that situation.

            In other words, chill out, SJW.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            http://i.qkme.me/3557bh.jpg

          • 0 avatar
            bball40dtw

            Well that’s good that no one brought their girlfriend. Never be the guy that brings his girlfriend to the fantasy football draft or Jalopnik karting event.

          • 0 avatar
            PrincipalDan

            I have to believe that April and Cameron check in every once in a while. That’s 2 readers although one is an occasional contributor.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            There have been Cameron sightings.

          • 0 avatar
            fvfvsix

            @PrincipalDan

            I don’t know if you intended to reinforce Bark’s point, but you surely did for me.

    • 0 avatar
      Driver8

      Lighten up, Frances.

  • avatar
    Matt Foley

    The hero of Guangdong, the man they call Jayne!

  • avatar
    jansob

    Send me one and I’ll put it on my Subaru R2….it already has a Texas flag on the rear window….this would be the cherry on top. I’ll even pay you the postage to my little town in western Japan.

  • avatar
    Land Ark

    While I am 100% opposed to any sort of automotive vandalism, despite the level of humor involved, I have to say a Subaru Forester in Vermont would probably be the ideal location for one of these.
    So perfect, I would argue, the owner of said “Lez-baru” would probably appreciate the humor as well.

    I would consider putting it on my own Subaru Legacy wagon, but it wouldn’t have the same impact I don’t think.

  • avatar
    Feds

    I put a lift and a 32″ tires on my Delica. AND it’s currently in my garage having the head gasket replaced, so it’d be the perfect time to Texas it.

    https://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/2440/5758/original.jpg

    I’d want one for each door though.

  • avatar
    Stugots

    I own a nicely restored 1965 Beetle that is bigger than all the others and would certainly merit such an illustrious badge. However, at the risk of sounding crude, I’d probably hang it on the front of my gym shorts for a quick photo-op first. Not that I merit such a thing, but one can always dream.

  • avatar
    DeeDub

    I flew from Maryland to Texas to buy my LS400, and it is therefore known as the Texas Lexas in my household, but no. I ain’t puttin’ that horse blanket on the back of my baby.

  • avatar
    Frylock350

    Prius. Somebody put this on a Prius.

    • 0 avatar
      VW16v

      I saw one on Prius when we drove through Houston last summer. Not sure if it was a dealer salesmonkey edition. Or just a owner added feature. It was a thing of beauty.

  • avatar
    mike978

    Jack – I appreciated the Bertel aside. He isn`t forgotten!

  • avatar
    Flipper35

    These really belong on a Smart car.

  • avatar
    Dirty Dingus McGee

    I have an neighbor, Polish guy originally from Chicago, who has a black Harley covered in chrome spikes, giant apehangers, and a set of longhorns mounted above the headlight.

    Candidate?

  • avatar
    dominican

    I’ll give you a couple of choices Baruth. I can put it on my fiance’s rather nice butt and send a picture, and since she is Chinese, it’ll be perfect. I would offer full frontal, but you said “impressive bare chest”, and you know, Chinese….

    That’s choice one. Second choice: I would permanently affix this to the back of my Honda motorcycle, NC700X, that gets about 10k miles every year, all around NYC traffic. That should make some liberals look twice.

  • avatar
    Josh_Howard

    How about the nose panel of my ’93 300zx with 4.5ltr V8? That’s pretty insane. Also, so is Texas edition anything!

  • avatar
    chaparral

    I’m a little Yankee liberal who graduated from Texas A&M U (WHOoP). I’ll put it on a CRX.

  • avatar
    Coopdeville

    I would submit my Japanese motorcycle, but since I’ve already pimped it out with fairing and duals and generally made it into an HD clone, nobody would get the joke.

  • avatar
    MrGreenMan

    That belongs on an Apple product. It’ll be like a family reunion with other made in China products. If it’s not magnetic, I’d put that on my MacBookPro or my “it still works fine!” iPad 2.

  • avatar
    Scottie

    I will place one on my Suzuki samurai, toro lawnmower or snowblower

  • avatar
    bball40dtw

    My wife said that I cannot attach the “Texas Edition” badge to her yoga pants. Sorry, I tried.

  • avatar
    Fred

    My uncle from Colorado more than any other type of people, including Indians, yea he was old school racists. I remember him saying they were so loud and bragged about how great everything was in Texas. Still he sold his calves to them because they always had money. I don’t really want one of those plastic badges and I’m sure enough not going to put it on my Lotus. Hell I stripped all the badges off my Silverado as well. In fact all the badges I have taken off my car are glued to a 2×6 in my garage.

  • avatar
    omer333

    I work at a tv station in Salt Lake City. I have a couple co-workers who are transplants from Texas, one of them is a one-legged news videographer.

    I could do a picture with him.

  • avatar
    VW16v

    Nissan / Infiniti qx80 Texas addition is probably a thing in the Soccer Texas mom world. Stick that badge on any car or truck in Texas and it will add value for Texan.

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    “Blake clued me into the fact that “OEM MADE IN USA TEXAS EDITION BADGES” are available from Chinese vendors for as little as $2.81 each. Interestingly enough, I can’t find actual USA-made TEXAS EDITION badges anywhere. Not that it would be a huge surprise if GM had the badges made in China; after all, the wheels on the C6 Z06 and the new C7 Stingray are Chinese-made.”

    GM (Guangzhou Motors) is making a hella lot of vehicles & components, including entire high-value assemblies such as motors and transmissions in China, Mexico, Thailand, etc.

    GM is even building Buicks & Cadillacs in China and ‘Murican Silverados, etc., in Mexico, so…

    …see the USA in your partly or entirely foreign built Chevrolet, b!tches!

  • avatar
    redliner

    Let’s put it on a new Honda Jet.

  • avatar
    psarhjinian

    One of two places:

    * On a 1979 Norco road bike
    * On a recumbent tricycle

    I’ll hang it next to the “one less car” sticker.

  • avatar
    FordMan_48126

    Jack – I’m in! I’d paste it on my wife’s Audi Q5, just to freak/piss off all the other Mom mobile driving hussies.

    I can hear the conversations now between the blonde wanna bees: “what TF?-there’s a Texas Edition Q5??! Why my lazy cheapa!!#@s husband…he’s gonna get it when I get home with our 2.5 kids!!!”

    And, yes, my wife is one of those…so it will be double funny in an ironic sort of sense. I’d might even mock up an official look-alike letter seemingly from Audi and mail it so she can find out the dealer error when they sold it to her, and Audi is correcting the mistake for ‘customer satisfaction’. She just might call the dealer to bitch them out…

  • avatar
    Nick 2012

    I have an honest-to-God 1,800lb. aluminum Gen 1 Honda Insight that fits neatly in the bed of most Cowboy Cadillacs.

    A Texas Edition badge would look great on it, and help establish my bona fides among the rollin’ coal crowd.

    Can I give 2 ideas? If so, the ’94 Pontiac Transport our team races in Lemons would give it a fitting home.

    • 0 avatar
      Nick 2012

      And if I win, and you’re done with that copy of Rolling Heavy, can I respectfully request it to casually slip into the waiting room magazine pile at the office?

  • avatar
    bobdod04

    I’d definitely put one of these on my 4Runner. In the heart of liberdelphia, PA.

  • avatar
    madman2k

    I’m 100% up for sticking it to the back of my Prius, and leaving it there until it falls apart or falls off.

    Or, I could stick it to the back of my coworker’s Chevy pickup – he is from Kentucky and constantly quarreling with another coworker who actually is from Texas. He even has a Kentucky flag sticker on there now.

  • avatar
    KrohmDohm

    The only place a badge of this awesomeness belongs….is on the back of Jack Baruth’s Phaeton.

    • 0 avatar
      Jack Baruth

      Well, if anybody can find them I’d be up for some guerilla action.

      Look for a grey ’05 with the 17″ wheels and a black ’06 with an ebony-wood steering wheel.

  • avatar
    philadlj

    If you’d recorded an ASMR video of this unboxing (complete with some gentle whispering) and posted it to YouTube, I’m sure you would have gotten at LEAST 5,000 views by now.

    It’s all about the proper titling and tagging…of YouTube videos.

  • avatar
    TCowner

    Jack,

    I have two panthers worthy of it. My 1997 TC Signature Series, my daily driver for the past 8 years, would look stunning with one of these on the back of the Prairie Tan Metallic decklid. Or, badass on the 2005 P71, assuming my son is willing to put it on. I think it would be better on the Lincoln.

    • 0 avatar
      VolandoBajo

      TCowner has a noble thought. However, I think he could and should make do with just one, and sent the other one to me to put on my Panther, 97 Grand Marquis, Prairie Tan, and with a stealth SCT tuner tune on it. Might even be able to hoon it a bit against other Panthers to convince them that there is a special TX size motor under the hood.

      I’d even settle for one, and let the other half of a set go to another worthy entrant. I think the badge would look best on the rear deck lid, rather than as a matching pair on the front fenders.

      That small touch of tastefulness should be enough to further confuse and confound random passers-by, when seen in conjunction with a Texas shoutout such as the badge.

      Another option might be to post it up in the high center of the rear window, for better visibility, along with the sublimal idea that a Texas edition Panther is above all others.

      Or if you send me both of them, I might be able to get a 2nd one on my son’s new NC GF’s Challenger. Might be an interesting juxtaposition, given that I don’t believe she sprung for the Hellcat.

      However, I will defer to your judgment, and won’t be offended if you decide there are better destinations for the badges. After all, there is a wide variety of possibilities, many of them truly incongruous and hilarious. It is only that I feel that as a TTAC based contest, there should be room for a Panther in there somewhere.

  • avatar
    WooHoo

    Jack,
    I may be persuaded to (temporarily) do this to my ’10 Frontier, grins and giggles, etc. More likely to attach to my wife’s Sentra – she would kill me if I touched the Wrangler. But most likely place would, in truth, be either the beer fridge in the garage or one of my guitars..Thanks!

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    How large are these? I could put some double sided tape on one and place it on the hand guards of my AK furniture.

    Zastava M70: TEXAS Edition

    or

    On my Volvo 240 and yes I would do it when its not 13 out.

  • avatar

    I could put it on my LaForza. People are already confused enough by it as it is – I’ve had it mistaken for everything from a Range Rover to an Isuzu Rodeo.

    It won’t get much exposure, though, because I only take it out once in a while, on account of the fact that the electrical system is currently effed and thus the headlights don’t work.

    • 0 avatar
      PrincipalDan

      Weren’t 90% of LaForza’s sold in Texas anyway? I assume to Oil & Cattle Barron’s with more money than sense who needed something for their trophy wives to drive.

      • 0 avatar

        I think most of them were sold in California, where the company was headquartered. A good chunk of the ones I’ve seen on eBay are there. Mine was originally a California car (based on the Autocheck and the CA emissions sticker on the door). Previous owner claimed it originally belonged to an employee’s wife (possibly because they couldn’t get anyone to actually buy one).

  • avatar
    suburbanokie

    How about my early 90s Huffy BMX bike from my pre-teen years. It’s been piecemealed into more of a road bike — road tires, drop handlebars from a 70s road bike.

    Side note, While I’m not a Ford fan, I think it’s genius they offer “Oklahoma Edition” F-150s for all the Okies who loathe the Lone Star/Longhorn state.

  • avatar
    slance66

    My daughter is too old, but we gave away her “cozy coupe” to neighbor kids. Since snow is falling soon here in MA, I think this would look great on a cozy coupe surrounded by snow. If I can get the kid to dress up all Duck Dynasty, even better.

  • avatar
    tekdemon

    I’ll put this on my Cayman S because it is pretty much the exact antithesis of a full size pickup truck

  • avatar
    LeBaronTurbo

    It would look insane on the front quarter panel of my 1985 Chrysler Lebaron Turbo convertible or my 1996 Toyota Camry V6.

  • avatar
    Charles T

    Blake has actually driven my Saab 9000. He may be amused if a “Texas Edition” badge makes it onto its hatch.

  • avatar
    Polishdon

    How about on a Smart Fortwo or A Toyota Prius with Obama/Biden Bumper stickers on it ???

  • avatar
    dal20402

    I want to sneak one onto my Texan wife’s purse while she’s not looking, and see her reaction.

    Alternately, with less likelihood of physical assault to my person but also less hilarity, I’d put it on her MacBook.

  • avatar
    Vulpine

    I’d attach one to each side of a ’97 Ranger and if I can find a flat enough place on the side of a Fiat 500, I’d do it there, too.

  • avatar
    Russycle

    You should send one of these to Elio Motors.

  • avatar
    SC5door

    If my friend had his Geo Storm this would be perfect for it. If I recall he put VTEC badges on the sides and I do remember clearly he installed a backup alarm.

  • avatar
    JMII

    Do not want on my Z, but on my ’02 Dakota… hmmm.

    Better option: I have a boat!

    Even better option: My brother has one of those Pond Prowler plastic micro boats. Sadly its only the plain green model and not the awesome camo edition which would be PERFECT for Texas.

  • avatar
    Jeff Weimer

    Nissan Figaro

  • avatar

    Let’s see, just looking out the window here at the job site I could put it on the following:
    – Terex Crane
    – Ford Econoline Van
    – Forklifts
    – Manlifts
    – Canon Copy Machine
    – Cable Tray (QA guy would probably get mad)
    – Timekeeper’s forehead (maybe it will help her get the hours correct on my paycheck if she can’t see what she is doing)
    – The project manager’s truck
    – The safety department’s electric utility cart
    At home, being the father of twin three-year-old girls I can place them a multitude of bicycles, power wheels four-wheelers, scooters, the dog, the playset in the back yard, etc.

    I could put it on my wife’s SUV (don’t call that Enclave a van or she’ll cut you). However, this could, and most likely would, cause strain on the relationship resulting in a steep drop in nocturnal activities.

    I could put it on the beer fridge (right next to the Beretta and Springfield Armory decals. That would look cool. I even have a spot on the fishing kayak just for a big honking Texas Edition emblem.

  • avatar
    Balto

    I’d put one on my beige, 90’s mom-mobile 95′ Taurus wagon. I already have a NHRA Drag Racing member sticker on the back (not actually a member), so it’ll fit right in.

  • avatar
    havecars

    I’ll sneak one onto my soccer mom wife’s Nissan Pathfinder, which also has 4wd (because that apparently helps her navigate the rough parking lots at the mall and soccer fields). Plus we’re in Texas, so idiots with Pathfinders undoubtedly will start calling the Nissan dealerships wanting to know why they couldn’t get a Texas Edition Pathfinder!

  • avatar
    majo8

    I will proudly display the badges on my 81 Imperial LeMons race car.

    That is all.

  • avatar
    LeMansteve

    I would give it to a friend of mine here in Georgia, who is the truest Southeast cowboy I know:

    every time I see him, he just got back from hunting

    his truck bed is filled with empties of Coors light, spent shotgun and .308 shells, and a nice patina of dried deer blood

    his truck is a mildly-lifted 200k mile Silverado with a Texas-shaped badge already on the truck

    he has a Yeti cooler not for the name, but because he actually uses it on long hunting trips

    Most importantly, he loves Texas.

  • avatar
    myheadhertz

    Up until about a year ago, there was a Yugo cruising the streets of my town. That Yugo would have been a good candidate.

  • avatar
    Willyam

    I’m in Oklahoma (Texas’ poorer cousin) which also has “Oklahoma Edition” tags on some of our bro-dozers. You might be amazed to find that many trucks around here are ordered in school colors. This is what happens when you’re this far away from anything else to do. (We also do not require front plates, so you can put your OU/OSU tags on, or rob quickie-marts in reverse I guess.)

    I’d love to put one on a crimson (burgundy) four-door-ninja-star-wheeled half-ton covered in OU plates and Boomer Sooner stickers. The only thing they hate more than Democrats are U of Texas Longhorns.

    On second thought, my old knees and liberal gun laws being what they are, I may have to hire a very fast hipster kid to do it at night.

  • avatar
    -Nate

    Guaranteed placement on an L.A.P.D. black & white squad car (can’t promise division , sorry) or the prius here .

    It’s certainly never going to *touch* my Texas built and bought Chevrolet light duty base model working truck .

    Photo if you wish but not going on my truck .

    I’ll happily toss as many in the trash you’d like if you’d rather .

    Simply amazing no one in America can make these cheap as the Chinese .

    -Nate

  • avatar
    cretinx

    I have a 1998 Lotus Esprit Twin Turbo V8 that one of these would look great on.

  • avatar
    KentB

    Texas Edition Sled (or Tube) in the back of a brand new Tacoma with a bag of Five Guys fries dangling from the tow hitch.

    I can guarantee, also, to include breasts in some way.

  • avatar
    Robert

    I’ll put one on the front numberplate of my 450 KTM and send you an action shot from the motocross track, or doing a full-lock slide around the mailboxes at the end of my street.

  • avatar
    Thorshammer_gp

    I think it’d look good on my Subaru Impreza hatchback…right next to my “Feel the Bern” magnet (especially because there are no flat areas on the tailgate big enough to stick it on evenly).

  • avatar
    Car Ramrod

    I will gladly place it on my M5 or Odyssey, but it’d be funnier on my boss’s Ferrari 550. Maybe he’ll play along.

  • avatar
    ClutchCarGo

    Some poster on this site owns, and occasionally operates, a Subaru 360. I can’t remember who he is, but if he were willing to accessorize it with one of these he should get one.

  • avatar
    2wheels

    I will put it on my street legal Honda XR400 dirt bike if I can find a flat enough piece of plastic to put it on.

  • avatar
    qwerty shrdlu

    The perfect vehicle for this badge is not mine, it must be owner or owners unknown. It should be on a dead car or truck left out in the woods on an abandoned dirt road. With an assortment of bullet holes.

  • avatar
    Dave M.

    I’m here in Houston, Jack. Let me offer my Subaru Outback or Saab convertible.

  • avatar
    TMA1

    There’s a Dodge dealer near me that has a new SRT Charger in the showroom. But the factory made a mistake and put a Scat Pack logo on the grille, instead of the SRT badge. This could be an interesting corrective attempt.

  • avatar

    There is a spot reserved on the rump of my Rover 800 (you mighr call it a Sterling) for such a badge.

    Were you to grant one of your badges such a home, I can promise TTAC a full colour image of a Texas-branded Rover outside an English country pub.

    Cheers.

  • avatar

    I’m surprised no EVs have been volunteered. My Leaf is up to the task…I may have to get a “Coal Fired” sticker of some provenance to go with it, though…

  • avatar
    Richard Chen

    Vespa, if I had one.

  • avatar
    zelig

    8th gen Accord, Mk2 VW diesel, XF supercharged:
    http://danceswithcurves.tumblr.com/post/137766955377/texas-editions-for-all

    (I’m probably disqualified, but sharing anyway.)

  • avatar
    NoID

    I’ll slap one on a Gen V Viper and get a photo in front of the Conner Avenue Assembly Plant.

    Alternatively, I use my mighty Mazda5 “tinivan” for all manner of utilitarian activities. My next stunt is loading the back with several hundred pounds of concrete block leftover from the installation of my recently added basement egress window and taking it to the aggregate dealer. I think a TEXAS EDITION badge would be fitting.

    I could also slap one on the side of a living, breathing cow if that tickles your fancy.

  • avatar
    Tifighter

    I have a Leaf. Let’s do this.

  • avatar
    jmikemontgomery

    I would so very much like to affix one of these to the back of my Citrus Fire Metallic 2009 Honda Element EX. I just moved to Texas a few months ago, and I think the Element would feel so much more welcomed here in TX with a big Texas Edition badge on the back tailgate.

    My wife said several years ago that the Element made me look like a dork. This could change everything!! I can park between several trucks in our lot that have exactly this same badging. Just makes the hair grow stronger thinking about it!

  • avatar
    This Is Dawg

    I’d happily slap one on my dad’s Nismo Z. Or would the badge better serve to ruin the stately rear end of an ’03 5 series?

  • avatar
    scrappy17

    I will put it on my white Prius along with a NHRA decal which I will buy!

  • avatar
    -Nate

    BTW : those who’ve never been to the GREAT State of TEXAS , really need to go ~ it’s a wonderful place , everything you could ever want can be found there and plenty of wide open space is still left .

    I love vacationing there , driving all over the state .

    -Nate

  • avatar
    Joe K

    How about I put one on my 89 Subaru Justy with a CVT. Ratios as wide as the Texas sky.

  • avatar
    PalestinianChicken

    Currently in Japan for the year. If there’s some adhesive on these badges, I can stick one on the bumper of a Japanese taxicab—complete with automatic swinging doors and drivers who wear gloves/vests/ties—one of these days when I’ve missed the last train at 1230am and have to take a $70 ride back to my place in the Tokyo suburbs.

    • 0 avatar
      sabotenfighter

      I was thinking of doing this.
      Slapped a “FF Join the Family” promo sticker from Furious 7 on the back of a Crown Comfort taxicab last year in Nagoya.

  • avatar
    NoGoYo

    My mom’s Hyundai Sonata would look great with a Texas Edition badge!

  • avatar
    TonyJZX

    Probably not the first to say this but I reckon you should donate the whole box to the US armed forces military vehicles participating in the “Jade Helm” festival.

  • avatar
    VoGo

    I’d like to see one on that plumber’s truck that now belongs to ISIS…

    …right before it is blown to smithereens.

  • avatar
    sabotenfighter

    I would proudly display this on my 1980 Honda CB50S motorcycle or perhaps my Vespa ET3. The Honda is about 3/4 the size of a normal UJM and I am 190cm (6’3″) so, works out.
    Forgot to add, I live in Japan. If I win, and if I can find one, Ill tape a cowboy hat to my helmet to complete the Texas look.

  • avatar
    mcs

    I could add it to the Willowdale Chevette. It’s a Chevy Chevette that someone decided to take offroading in the Willowdale State Forest in Massachusetts. It’s been there for decades and has become a landmark and perhaps one of the few Chevettes ever to serve a useful purpose:

    [vimeo 37201199 w=640 h=360]

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rQUFHDEm9Y

    https://www.facebook.com/168389828818/photos/pcb.10153016127953819/10153016126238819/?type=3&theater

  • avatar
    HeeeeyJake

    How about one of those absurdly large Flavor Flav -esque fireplace clocks you see for sale at Target, Kohls, etc.

  • avatar
    OMP

    I’ll happily stick one of these on the back of my car! Nothing says “Texas” like a small white Lexus IS on New York plates!

  • avatar
    gsnfan

    I’ll put it on the back of my silver 2008 Prius with CA plates. It’s currently in Dallas, since I now live there. I also have TRD badges, and plan to put up a Sanders 2016 bumper sticker if this happens!

  • avatar
    Maymar

    I’m not saying I’d actually do it, but my two vehicles are an ancient Honda Rebel 250, and a Mazda2 with lime green hubcaps – both are really just Texas as Lane Pryce wearing a steak as a belt buckle.

  • avatar
    Big Al From 'Murica

    This needs to be affixed to a husky doing route clearance in Kandahar.

  • avatar

    I’d be tempted to affix it to either my ’56 Fender Pro, ’67 Dual Showman or ’67 Vox Beatle head.

  • avatar
    masterofnone

    ACTUAL ENTRY!
    On the back of my company car here in Toluca Mexico where I am on a two year foreign assignment with Auto OEM.

    The bare chest pic with wife I believe I can also arrange as long as her face is not included!

    What you say Jack?

  • avatar
    hybridkiller

    Clearly one of these needs to go on someone’s common rail TDI – I’ll volunteer my Golf – since we’re pretty much, you know, rollin’ coal n sh1t…

  • avatar
    Pesky Varmint

    Send me one.

    I’ll put it on my 1952 Farmall AV tractor.
    The picture will be on one of my three ranches (this gets even better: I call them ranches since I’m a wannabee rancher. They are truly rural and in the desert. Cattle does run on them. Cattle aren’t mine though. Where I live in Arizona is open range. If you look up the proper definition of ranch I need to own the cattle. But this does ratchet up the pretend cowboy some, doesn’t it?)

    Look, if that’s not offensive enough, I’ll put my 2004 Mustang GT on my car trailer and hitch that behind the tractor.

  • avatar
    TheIrvMan

    That sticker would proudly sit on the bumper of my car next to my V8 decal and Sparco sticker. Now what kind of performance vehicle proudly displays these performance enhancers? Well a 1998 Saturn SL2! Next month I’ll be participating in my first autocross, just imagine it; the Texas Edition Saturn VRS. all the Civics, Integras and WRX’s, you my kind sir can make this a reality. Let my little plastic abomination be the most ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL OF THEM ALL!!!

  • avatar
    Shockwave

    I’d put it on a local police car, but most of them have on board cameras these days, and I certainly don’t want that kind of attention. I doubt I’ll find a friendly cooperative officer locally, either.

    I have a (genuine) Canadian Edition M3, so a Texas Edition M3 would be a perfect stable mate. With that said, I’d happily put one on my 50,000 mile bone stock 1990 M3 and make the purist’s heads explode (it’s a proper Canadian market car with heated seats, which makes it even more ridiculous).

    To really get the most out of the effort I’d need someone south of the border to help me out with some Pep Boys accessories to really flush out the look… as long as I can eventually remove whatever I install without any damage I’m game.

  • avatar
    dolorean

    As I work and live in Bavaria, I’d kill for a tasteless Tejas Edition badge to slap on the arse of my MY00 BMW 323 Ci. She may be a Regensburg built girl, but she was OG’d in Texas outside Fort Hood once upon a time. I’ll also happily accept any Truk Nutz you may have having around to dangle from the tow hook (yes, this is Germany; nearly every car has one).

    And I’ll even share my dismay as to why Stedman won’t marry me. “And you get a badge, and YOU get a badge, and YOU get a badge)

  • avatar
    Jayef

    In a perfect world I’d put one smack in the middle of Flavor Flav’s giant clock. But seeing as this isn’t a perfect world it would probably wind up on the hatch of my Mazda2 amidst a sea of furry-themed bumper stickers.

  • avatar
    Erikstrawn

    The lower bumper on my wife’s ’05 Scion xB keeps falling off. If you give me one of the Texas Edition badges I’ll use it to help stick the bumper back on.

  • avatar
    Denis

    I have a ’79 300SD which already has a light-bar from a Jeep, tinted front lamps, and a two-tone job done with Rustoleum and a foam brush from Wal-Mart. Regardless of whether or not I end up with one of these badges, it’s basically a “TEXAS EDITION” anyway.

  • avatar
    AlfaRomasochist

    My current fleet, in increasing order of “Texas Edition” ridiculousness…

    – 2005 Dutchmen RV “Texas Edition”. Meh.
    – 1960 Chevy Nomad “Texas Edition”. Nah. This car doesn’t need any more bling.
    – 2006 Volvo V70R “Texas Edition”. Now we’re getting somewhere!
    – 1989 Alfa Romeo Spider “Texas Edition”. It’s missing its “Pininfarina” logo and I have to put SOMETHING in there…
    – 1974 Alfa Romeo Spider “Texas Edition”. Still in the shop for body work and paint, otherwise a contender.
    – 2015 Nissan Leaf “Texas Edition”. At first blush I thought this was the winner, but then I remembered Austin is in Texas.

    And the winner is…

    – 1971 Lancia Fulvia 1600HF “Texas Edition”. There’s even a perfect place for it, right next to the “ASI” Italian historical plaque. And I drove it all the way through Texas when I picked it up last year, from South Houston to the New Mexico border! And yes, I would seriously do it.

    • 0 avatar
      Vulpine

      “– 1960 Chevy Nomad “Texas Edition”. Nah. This car doesn’t need any more bling.”

      Why couldn’t that have been a ’59 model? I absolutely love the 59’s sweeping curves and those big teardrop taillights. I’ve wanted one since I was a kid despite the knee-banger that is the lower windshield frame. To me, the ’59 Chevy was the most beautiful car ever built.

  • avatar
    GuidoAnchovy

    I could glue a magnet on the back of the badge and put it on the back of my 1989 Toyota Century (if it’ll fit!) for a photo. :P

  • avatar
    Jeff Semenak

    I would gladly put this on my Chinese-made Electric Bicycle!
    http://www.amazon.com/X-Treme-Scooters-XB-502-Electric-Bicycle/dp/B002AGN086

    I ride it 12 miles round-trip to work.

  • avatar
    Lou_BC

    Nope. I wouldn’t want anything remotely close to that. Maybe a stack of them to sell to the rusty pickup with Molon Labe or Harley Davidson stickers all over the back window.

    Maybe I could attach a Texas Edition plaque to a set of truck nutz.

  • avatar
    LBJs Love Child

    On my MINI Clubman… to go with the ‘COME AND TAKE IT’ Gonzales Flag grill badge.

  • avatar
    ChevyIIfan

    I will put one on my Goshen, IN built Keystone Passport RV. So the whole “texas edition” will be extremely ridiculous because the RV is literally the same as every other Passport out there (No special edition Passports)

  • avatar
    05lgt

    I’ll put one on my wife’s RX 330’s trailer hitch cover (bike rack use only, natch’). I never tire of reminding her she was born in Texas.

  • avatar
    Model A Cayman

    Your choice. Either my 1930 Ford Model A pickup or my 2010 Cayman. Both in SC

  • avatar
    BWalker82

    My 1993 SAAB 900 Convertible. SAAB once created a Talladega edition. Why not a Texas version too?

  • avatar
    enesset

    Did I miss in the comments because it wasn’t clear in the intro, I have seen these on a Tundra here in Santa Cruz.

    I would rock one on our daily driver 2012 white Nissan Leaf.

    It allows me to “roll coal” guilt free on weekends in my 1992 ford centurion w a 7.3L IDI.

    Thanks for the great content Jack.

    Ps if it helps the Leaf daily drives up the 17 thru Saratoga to the border w Cupertino.

  • avatar
    saabaru

    I work at an ice skating rink. How ’bout I slap one of them bad boys on the Zamboni?

  • avatar
    someoneotherthanme

    I think that the first Messerschmitt or BMW bubble car should get one….just my two cents worth. Badge would be useless in Canada – best it would get up here would be a WTF?

  • avatar
    RustyShitboxIsTheNewFast

    I know I’m a little late but I will try my hardest to make it happen for the sheer hilarity.

    On the back of a motorised wheelchair an obscenely obese person is operating.

  • avatar
    PeriSoft

    I will put one both on the back of a motion simulator (http://www.force-dynamics.com for reference) *and* on the back of our ChumpCar Miata.

  • avatar
    Nurburgringer

    As a Houstonian that drives a Town and Country, a ’86 Honda CRX and two old BMWs (E38 and E39) I NEED at least one of these please please please!!!!

    I’d proudly stick it on the minivan’s tailgate.

    God, I fracking hate bro trucks…

  • avatar
    barryfaetheus

    I think your address is just about visible on the shipping label in the picture of the parcel. Might want to blank it out….

  • avatar
    Willem Huber

    These badges annoy me quite a lot for no reason, actually. I even live in the state. Why can’t they have an ‘Alaska Edtion’.

  • avatar
    furiouschads

    Belongs on the gate of my brown 96 sable wagon with the Gore 08 sticker.

    Or the faded blue 2000 ZX3 with the Shiner sticker. Both tooling around in the DC suburbs.

  • avatar
    koreancowboy

    I grew up in Tejas, and was fortunate to escape last year for the bright lights of Sin City (now in Portland).

    I’d LOVE to put these on my 2003 RAV4 L and 2007 Civic coupe, just because.

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