You Get One Guess As To Where 'TEXAS EDITION' Badges Come From - And I'm Going To Give You One Of Them

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth
you get one guess as to where texas edition badges come from and i m going to

If loving Texas is Rong, I don’t want to be right. I’m referring, of course, to my pal Blake Z. Rong, who currently lives in, and sort of loves, the Lone Star State.

One of the best (or worst) parts of living in Texas is the unhealthy codependency between the people who live there and the trucks they can barely afford and never use for trucky things but insist on owning anyway. The bond between Texans and their ridiculously-appointed Cowboy Cadillacs is so strong that all of the full-size purveyors offer a Texas-focused variant that slathers bling and chrome on an otherwise affordable half-ton.

We’re talking RAM BigHorn, Nissan Texas Titan, GMC Sierra Texas Value SLE, Tundra Texas Edition, and, of course, the Chevrolet Silverado Texas Edition. If you are in Texas, and your Silverado is not a Texas Edition … well, I don’t know what to say other than that you clearly have no sense of decency. But fear not. Thanks to the aforementioned Mr. Rong, I’m here to make it right. Ten lucky TTAC readers are going to have a chance to upgrade their rides to a TEXAS EDITION, at my cost. Is there a catch? Of course there is!

Blake clued me into the fact that “OEM MADE IN USA TEXAS EDITION BADGES” are available from Chinese vendors for as little as $2.81 each. Interestingly enough, I can’t find actual USA-made TEXAS EDITION badges anywhere. Not that it would be a huge surprise if GM had the badges made in China; after all, the wheels on the C6 Z06 and the new C7 Stingray are Chinese-made. So I reached out to China and got me some. Let’s do an unboxing, because that’s a big thing nowadays among people whose primary exposure to the human vagina comes from Reddit Gone Wild Plus Size:

Here’s the box, shipped to me from somewhere deep in the interior of China in just seventeen days.

And here’s the box. When I opened it, I half expected to find a note saying “HELP I’M BEING HELD IN ROPE BONDAGE BY SOME CREEPY OLD GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HITLER” but that was not, in fact, the case.

Ladies (yeah, right) and gentlemen, this is the kind of real Texas pride that can only come from Guangdong (formerly known as Canton, you racists) where the trucks are as tall as the sky.

And here they are: all the TEXAS EDITION badges you can possibly handle. And I want to give them to you, dear reader. But I have literally almost three dollars into each one of them, plus shipping to your mom’s house, so I need to know that you’re going to do something awesome with whatever badge I send you. So here are the rules:

  • You come up with a destination for your TEXAS EDITION badge, and post it in this thread. The more ridiculous and offensive, the better.
  • Good ideas: your compact truck or Japanese car.
  • Better idea: your race car.
  • Even better idea: your exotic car.
  • A brave idea: a cop car.
  • Best idea of all: a video of you surreptitiously putting the thing on some dicknozzle’s new-money 458 Italia or Bentley Flying Spur.
  • Idea that won’t happen, no matter how much I’d fancy it: a badge stuck to your girlfriend’s impressive bare chest. (Or yours, I suppose.)
  • I’ll select ten “winners” and contact you to arrange delivery.
  • Then you’ll fulfill your promise and send a photo.
  • Which I will put up on this site.

The first five people to actually do what they say they’re going to do with their TEXAS EDITION badges will receive a free T-shirt commemorating our disastrous attempt to race a 450SLC without a rollcage in … Texas, of course!

Gentlemen, you have your mission. Post your best ideas — and prepare to receive a taste of TEXAS.

Join the conversation
2 of 209 comments
  • Furiouschads Furiouschads on Jan 30, 2016

    Belongs on the gate of my brown 96 sable wagon with the Gore 08 sticker. Or the faded blue 2000 ZX3 with the Shiner sticker. Both tooling around in the DC suburbs.

  • Koreancowboy Koreancowboy on Feb 26, 2016

    I grew up in Tejas, and was fortunate to escape last year for the bright lights of Sin City (now in Portland). I'd LOVE to put these on my 2003 RAV4 L and 2007 Civic coupe, just because.

  • Tassos What was the last time we had any good news from Ford? (or GM for that matter?)The last one was probably when Alan Mulally was CEO. Were you even born back then?Fields was a total disaster, then they go hire this clown from Toyota's PR department, the current Ford CEO, Fart-ley or something.He claims to be an auto enthusiast too (unlike Mary Barra who is even worse, but of course always forgiven, as she is the proud owner of a set of female genitals.
  • Tassos I know some would want to own a collectible Mustang. (sure as hell not me. This crappy 'secretary's car' (that was exactly its intended buying demo) was as sophisticated (transl. : CRUDE) as the FLintstone's mobile. Solid Real Axle? Are you effing kidding me?There is a huge number of these around, so they are neither expensive nor valuable.WHen it came out, it was $2,000 or so new. A colleague bought a recent one with the stupid Ecoboost which also promised good fuel economy. He drives a hard bargain and spends time shopping and I remember he paid $37k ( the fool only bought domestic crap, but luckily he is good with his hands and can fix lots of stuff on them).He told me that the alleged fuel economy is obtained only if you drive it like a VERY old lady. WHich defeats the purpose, of course, you might as well buy a used Toyota Yaris (not even a Corolla).
  • MRF 95 T-Bird Back when the Corolla consisted of a wide range of body styles. This wagon, both four door and two door sedans, a shooting brake like three door hatch as well as a sports coupe hatchback. All of which were on the popular cars on the road where I resided.
  • Wjtinfwb Jeez... I've got 3 Ford's and have been a defender due to my overall good experiences but this is getting hard to defend. Thinking the product durability testing that used to take months to rack up 100k miles or more is being replaced with computer simulations that just aren't causing these real-world issues to pop up. More time at the proving ground please...
  • Wjtinfwb Looks like Mazda put more effort into sprucing up a moribund product than Chevy did with the soon to be euthanized '24 Camaro.