Question: What Car Is Most Favored By Murderers?
Back when I was looking for a cheap suspension-donor Lexus SC400, I had a couple of friends tell me to be careful when I went to go look at clapped-out Americanized Soarers with three-digit price tags: “All worn-out SC400s, in fact all worn-out Lexuses, are owned by murderers! You’ll see!” As it turned out, none of the cars I looked at had trunks full of quicklime, shovels, and duct tape… but that got me to thinking about the “murderer car” thing. Which car available today has the image of being owned by the scariest, manslaughteringest individuals? My answer, which I know to be the correct one, may be seen after the jump.
Yeah, the Toyota Echo. American car buyers were afraid of the Echo from the beginning, for good reason; it’s just a creepy-looking car! Toyota had to recycle the chassis of the Echo in the much-less-creepy Scion xA and xB.
Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.
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When an old H platform GM rolls down your street, late at night, one taillamp smashed out, two individuals, inside with their seats leaned all the way back, tell me you don't have an involuntary shiver. There's no menace greater than a former granny-mobile, be it Buick, Olds or Pontiac, now in the service of violence and avarice. Any H survivors out on the road today are the equivalent of the drop gun; use it, lose it. Leave it for the cops to trace to a junkyard outside of Reno, where it's supposed to be rusting away, waiting for the crusher, but isn't. Instead, it's parked in the long-term upper deck parking lot at O'Hare, reeking of decomposing flesh, leaking gas, and stale cigarette smoke.
Ford Bronco...duh.