If They Made A Movie About This, They Could Call It "Wired For Death"

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

Many years ago, I was bombing my Zoke-Z1-equipped Klein down a trail in Ohio’s Caesar Creek park when I took a wrong turn and found myself heading towards a farmer’s field. I saw a flash, a glint, in midair fifty feet ahead of me and I jammed both brakes, coming to a heaving halt an arm’s length away from a brand-new bit of barbed wire strung across the trail, presumably at the farmer’s property line. It was at about the right elevation to catch me across the chest, but it would have caught a child at the neck.

Lacking a tool with which to cut the hazard down, I twisted up two large branches in the wire so it would be obvious to the less attentive then went on my way, my general contempt for man’s inhumanity to cyclist freshly reinforced. When I quit racing bikes and started focusing on cars, I figured I’d never see anything like that again. It would appear I was wrong.

Stringing barbed wire across roads is now Officially A Thing. It’s damaging PT Cruisers in Michigan. It’s terrifying pensioners in the UK. It’s cutting pedestrians in Pakistan.

The concept of booby-trapping or attacking random motorists is far from new; it’s been around as long as the car itself and will likely remain well into the future — but the nature and frequency of such incidents offers some insight into how motorists are viewed by the general public. The current recession has put a lot of people on foot. If (let’s not kid ourselves… as) that situation continues, it won’t be long before some genuine populist aggression starts to stir, however passively it might manifest itself.

Of course, where there’s a populist will, there’s a capitalist way. Perhaps BMW will bring the “wire-cutter” Roundel into production:

In the meantime — eyes up, and watch the behavior of cars ahead of you. But you’re doing that anyway, right?

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Gessvt Gessvt on Jan 25, 2013

    I would have taken it one step further and came back the next day with wire cutters. What an a**hole. And I trump your Z1 with the XC400 (drilled forks for lightness!) on my Bridgestone MB-1, back in the day. Never made it to Caesar Creek, but we frequented the Poto up in Pinckney when I was a more adept rider.

  • Corey Lewis Corey Lewis on Feb 05, 2013

    Is that a Commodore at :59 in the movie clip? It's Volvo-type headlamps are making me confused. When they show the back it looks like a Vauxhall Carlton. Side note: I love how when the S-Class runs over the tire spikes there's a nice bit of flame. Now I know why there's always a fire when I get a flat.

  • JTiberius1701 Middle of April here in NE Ohio. And that can still be shaky. Also on my Fiesta ST, I use Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires for the winter and Bridgestone Potenza for my summer tires. No issues at all.
  • TCowner We've had a 64.5 Mustang in the family for the past 40 years. It is all original, Rangoon Red coupe with 289 (one of the first instead of the 260), Rally Pac, 4-speed, factory air, every option. Always gets smiles and thumbs ups.
  • ToolGuy This might be a good option for my spouse when it becomes available -- thought about reserving one but the $500 deposit is a little too serious. Oh sorry, that was the Volvo EX30, not the Mustang. Is Volvo part of Ford? Is the Mustang an EV? I'm so confused.
  • Mikey My late wife loved Mustangs ..We alway rented one while travelling . GM blood vetoed me purchasing one . 3 years after retirement bought an 08 rag top, followed by a 15 EB Hard top, In 18 i bought a low low mileage 05 GT rag with a stick.. The car had not been properly stored. That led to rodent issues !! Electrical nightmare. Lots of bucks !! The stick wasn't kind to my aging knees.. The 05 went to a long term dedicated Mustang guy. He loves it .. Today my garage tenant is a sweet 19 Camaro RS rag 6yl Auto. I just might take it out of hibernation this weekend. The Mustang will always hold a place in my heart.. Kudos to Ford for keeping it alive . I refuse to refer to the fake one by that storied name .
  • Ajla On the Mach-E, I still don't like it but my understanding is that it helps allow Ford to continue offering a V8 in the Mustang and F-150. Considering Dodge and Ram jumped off a cliff into 6-cylinder land there's probably some credibility to that story.
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