By on October 17, 2012

Almost every car guy has experienced being pushed over the brink by a car so evil it could be characterized as possessed. A man in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada wanted to perform his own exorcism on an old hearse in a Canadian Tire parking lot before sending it off to the big crusher in the sky over the weekend.

After parking the hearse at the Canadian Tire outlet, the man entered the store to procure his exorcism tools – a crowbar and sledgehammer – and after declining the receipt was overheard saying, “When I’m done with these, no one will want them back.”

The man then proceeded to release his divine fury on the hearse, which appears to be an old Cadillac, and was standing on the roof with sledgehammer in hand when police officers arrived. After cuffing and questioning the man, he agreed to clean up the debris of the evicted demons and was released.

“He had the salvage company on the way for it, so he wanted to get his licks in before it went,” said Sgt. David Publicover of Halifax Regional Police. “That’s pretty much it.

“He just wanted to give it a goodbye, I guess.”

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35 Comments on “Man Attacks Junker Hearse In Canadian Tire Parking Lot, Is Detained, Released...”

  • avatar

    The faux wire hubcaps would’ve done it for me.

  • avatar
    Roberto Esponja

    Morons…morons, everywhere.

  • avatar

    What a crying shame, and smack dab in the middle of high season for hearse sales too!

  • avatar
    schmitt trigger

    He should have had someone videotaped the exorcism, posted it in YouTube, and watchit go viral.

    • 0 avatar

      Ask and you shall receive. (I live in Halifax. This was all over the news a few days ago)

      *Edit. Forgot the site doesn’t allow Youtube links.
      Anyway, it’s under the title:
      Frank Mag Exclusive: Man beats hearse with sledgehammer, dramatic police takedown

      (Frank Magazine is the local gossip rag.)

  • avatar
    Speed Spaniel

    Funny if the Caddy spewed green antifreeze in his face.

  • avatar

    If you had just been in Canadian Tire, you would have to take your frustration out on something. Bad service, can’t find anything and a general ‘I don’t care’ attitude is enough to drive anyone to beat up a hearse.

    • 0 avatar

      I’m a Yank who worked in Toronto for 6 years in the 90s. Canada Tire is almost as bad as Home Depot but they had good pricing. When we moved back to the US, I opened my glove box and found hundreds of Canada Tire Bucks. Threw them out.

      • 0 avatar

        What’s wrong with the Depot? Their best stuff is pretty good, the prices good, and an unbeatable return policy. Compare that to the local hardware store where they follow you like you’re going to fill your pocket with tan wire nuts, they refuse to take back certain items, and they usually push more than you need. Their advice is not usually much better than the Depot’s either. Then again, I usually help out the customers in the Depot just to be good guy. I was even offered a Home Depot apron by a guy in the electrical department….

    • 0 avatar

      At least Canadian Tire offers a wider selection of brands than, say, Home Depot. (I haven’t had trouble finding anything there but maybe that’s just me?)

  • avatar

    “Which appears to be an old cadillac.” Yes, it’s a caddy.

    • 0 avatar

      It’s a little disappointing when a writer for an auto enthusiast site can’t positively identify a domestic car manufactured with only minor body changes between 1977 and 1992.

  • avatar
    Polar Bear

    Jeremy Clarkson is doing the same and he gets away with it.

  • avatar
    bumpy ii

    See, it’s perfectly fine to hammer the crap out of your old shitebox, but you need to do it in your own yard.

    • 0 avatar

      I junked my old 740 last week, incidentally, and that’s pretty much how it went. My roommate had gotten into a fight with his ex not long before, and I let him take a ten-pound sledgehammer to the doors… hey, the fire department (it was used as Jaws of Life practice) and junkyard didn’t care.

  • avatar

    Just another in a long tradition of on the spot Canadian Tire parking lot pitstops… Come out of the store, rip off the wrappers, change your wipers, top up some windshield washer fluid, trash your hearse. You know.

  • avatar

    What the hell, a man can’t take a sledgehammer to an old hearse in a public parking lot anymore?

  • avatar
    Domestic Hearse

    I wholeheartedly object to this man’s actions and this article in general, lest it give rise to more hearse violence by copycat insane people.

  • avatar

    What a loss if this was equipped with the rare Hearse shifter option.

  • avatar
    400 N

    I’m sure it’s somehow the fault of the Canadian health care system…

    • 0 avatar

      Well, it could be that when he put gas he had to leave behind 120 bucks ( about $1.36/liter ). I almost wanted to do that the other day when I looked at the receipt and I saw the tax break-down. Oh Canada….
      I just realized it wasn’t the car’s fault.

  • avatar

    I stopped going to Canadian Tire after receiving a different bit of damage. Took my truck to our small town Crappy Tire for some brake work and other assorted tune-ups, and got a surprise when I went to pick it up. Walking up to it in their parking lot, I found its passenger side door caved in. Thinking that it was a parking lot hit and run, and that Canadian Tire accepts no responsibility for damages incurred in their parking lots (as outlined in the fine print of my service receipt) I though I was SOL.

    I told my co-workers about the damage and my bad luck that day. “Hang on” my buddy says. “I’m friends with the service manager at Crappy Tire. I’ll get you his phone number.” So I call this guy up and he says “what, they didn’t tell you?” No, tell me what? “That the shop monkey drove your truck into one of the support collums inside the service bay.” Oh. Awesome. So with that I go back to Canadian Tire and drag the Customer Service Manager out to see my truck. “I spend $800+ dollars here and this is how you reward my patronage? Is this customer service?” Needless to say, they repaired and repainted my truck at a shop of my choice.

    I wouldn’t go to Canadian tire for a wiper blade if they were giving them away.

    • 0 avatar

      Being stuck on a Sunday with a snapped alternator belt, the only shop open in town was a CT store.

      After watching one of their grease monkeys through the glass for about 45 minutes as he was clearly struggling I demanded of the advisor “Why is your technician grovelling around underneath my van?”

      “Well, sir, he is trying to work out the routing of the serpentine belt”

      “Ah, OK, but you might want to tell him that the belt is about 1 foot long and just runs between the alternator and the pulley right next to it.”

      Seriously, it is a 5 minute job including getting the belt from the rack. Never again!

      I’ve also heard, but not had it confirmed, that Canadian Tire have certain parts “built down to a price” so you are not getting what you think you are getting. For example, you might order Monroe shocks but they may not be the same spec. as you might get at other stores. Again, I don’t know this is a fact but it certainly makes me all the more wary of going to them for anything but the most basic parts and tools.

  • avatar

    This would make me a tad upset if I knew this was a REAL hearse, you know, with the 6.0L 368, no cruise, and no tilt wheel.

  • avatar

    Shouldn’t this have been entitled “GM Death Watch”?

  • avatar

    Poor S&S Landau, I’m sure some pale goth weirdo kids would have loved to have it.

  • avatar

    Looks/sounds like a Trailer Park Boys bit. I was waiting for Julian to run up with a Windsor/Coke in hand to subdue the Regional cop whist Ricky got away so they could get back to Sunnyvale to grow ‘Dope’.

    Oh, Canada!

    P.S. Please let me in! :)

  • avatar

    so many comments about beating a dead hearse…


  • avatar

    Looks like a 90-92 edition which would mean a TBI Chevy 350 V8 under hood. I know several collectors of the full size 90-02 Broughams equipped with said 350 with over 300K miles on the original engines that still purr like a kitten. It’s a shame to see one get intentionally bashed up as someone is losing out on some good parts for there car that they didn’t intend on getting smashed.

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